I have so many questions,
But I know you don’t have the answers,
It’s hard on me,
But I know it’s harder on you.
It’ll always be that way for us,
Even after you’re gone,
It’ll still be hard on me,
I’m so scared of losing you.
Losing you means losing part of me,
A part of me will always die with you,
I’d rather you recover from 1,000 surgeries,
Than have to go to your funeral.
Fear is eating away at me,
I don’t want to be alone,
I wish there was something I could do,
To help you hurt less.
I’ll hold on to you forever,
You are part of me,
Maybe I was always meant to lose you,
Maybe it will make me stronger.
Written: June 20, 2026, for a contest sponsored by Miranda Hawley
********************
He carries a thousand-watt smile to chronic pain—
A sun susurrous through storm and strain.
His quiet, weak speech goes unheard, and bound
But his wispy humor is well-defined and sound.
Through surgeries and illness, he stands tall,
His drive radiates forth even when he must crawl.
With spine, and stomach both feeble and torn—
Inside him, it aches; his body is lethargic and worn.
Being alive is a battle that his spirit must fight
To bear the success, and embrace the light,
His life is an endeavor, vibrant and bright—
God bless his soul with a thousand-watt smile tonight,
The surgery
The surgeries were situated in an industrial estate
in an imposing building telling of elitist power
My operating room, painted gray and white, was ready
At ten fifteen, when I was wheeled in, who was
not allowed to talk to customers who came to have
Their illness was removed in exchange for a better life
Here, the patient was less important than the illness
They put me face down into a chamber with a screen
so that I could witness my surgery
Invisible hands cutting into my flesh to they reached
the bones that were to be linked together with a metal
clips; blood had been cleared
At the precise moment when the bones were linked
The screen went blurry, to stop the opposition to
See the method used, a system that could be resold
to other industrial surgeries
After 3 days to recuperate, I was told to leave that
caused concern as I had to arrange for someone to
Take me home, as the surgery that had brought me
They were not responsible for my leaving
Industrial surgery is not interested in the patient
but purely in the method used
Gay has a doctor’s appointment almost every day
bone specialist, heart surgeon, eye doctor for old Gay
Goes from appointment to appointment hoping to find something wrong
Breaking a bone or two would have her singing a joyful song
She has had seventeen colonoscopies this year
plus, several surgeries, next year they’ll rebuild her ear
there she goes now to another doctor appointment I’ll bet
I heard that she is demanding to have her unbroken arm set.
in 1966 the UFOs were so plentiful they chased us town to town
Back when our mothers vacuumed in pearls and an evening gown.
We were terrified we would be lifted up and probed unmercifully.
I think I feared UFOs and alien surgeries until about 1973.
There I stood at heavens pearly gates
Waiting for God to decide my fate
I was still a child, though very sick
Hoping my passing would be quick.
Then an angel suddenly appeared
Took my hand and said “not yet dear”
“Hold on tight and I’ll fly you home”
In a flash I was back in bed alone.
Home for me was a hospital ward
Where the illness had to take it’s course
Though it was a long painful ordeal
I got well, but the pain I had was surreal.
The hurt was daily, monthly and yearly
Told I was too young for hip surgery
My compensating knee wore out too
So one operation became two.
Forty years passed before the first op
Two years later, the second op I got
I must have had a miracle man
For both surgeries went to plan.
Bless all medics who take care of us
Every one is a gift from above.
When you meet with old friends
After months, even years,
There is comfort in having
No need to switch gears.
For the groundwork’s been set
And the basics are known,
So there’s just catching up –
How the grandkids have grown!
But most likely you’ll talk
About health or its lack
And the surgeries done
On the hips, knees or back.
There’ll be notes to compare
About travel and shows
And each exercise class
And acquaintances’ woes.
Still, it’s lovely to spend
Time together again.
There should be a repeat,
But who knows where or when.
Four times they opened the flesh and bone,
Four times I woke to a world of stone—
No river of morphine, no drift or dream,
Only the scream behind the scream.
White coats turned with empty hands,
No balm for fire that sears and brands.
I wept in shadows of hospital light,
Each hour a tunnel with no end in sight.
If coins had clinked inside my palm,
I'd trade the law for stolen calm—
A vial, a capsule, a pill that's laced,
To soften the vise of time and place.
But silence crushed the walls of my mind,
And reason fled what it could not find.
Three days I wandered in jagged flame,
A nameless ghost without a name.
Suicide bloomed like a blood-red rose,
A constant whisper the daylight knows.
This is no mercy, this is no care—
This oath they swore hangs in the air,
A mockery writ on parchment scroll
While I, in agony, begged for soul.
If kindness lives in the sky’s great dome,
Let it lift me gently, carry me home.
I ask not gold, I ask not fame,
Only to breathe without the flame.
To see the sky turn dusk to day,
And feel the stars not slip away.
O let the wind move through my chest,
Before I lie in endless rest.
I'M STILL HERE
IT ALL STARTED WHEN I WAS 10 YEARS OLD
I WAS MOLESTEDFOR 5 YEARS FROM MY DAD
AND RAPED BY MY BROTHER
BUT I"M STILL HERE
I HAVE BEEN BEATENWITH A TOW CHAIN
AND MY HOUSE WAS SET ON FIRE WITH ME IN IT
BUT I"M STILL HERE
I HAVE BEEN BEATENAND THROWEN THREW A BIG PICTURE WINDOW
AND WAS RIPED FROM ALL MY CLOTHES OFF
BUT I"M STILL HERE
I WAS RAPED ON SEVERAL ACCOUNTSBY MY MOM'S
BOYFRIEND AND HIS SON
BUT I'M STILL HERE
I HAVE HAD OVER 11 SURGERIES PLATES AND SCREWS
ALL DOWN MY RIGHT HAND SIDE
BUT I'M STILL HERE
I WAS SLIPPED DOWNERS IN MY DRINKS
AND ALMOST DIED
BUT I'M STILL HERE
I WAS BEATEN SO BAD BY MY HUSBAND THAT WHEN THE OFFICERS
TOOK ME TO WHERE MY BROTHER AND SISTERS CAMPSITE
THEY DIDN'T EVEN RECONGIZE I WAS
BUT I'M STILL HERE
I WAS VERBALLY ABUSEDON SEVERAL ACCOUNTS
AND SOMETIMES I THINK IT"S WORSE
BUT IM STILL HERE
THE REASON FOR THIS POEM IS NEVER GIVE UP
CAUSE IM STILL HERE
Such a cruel world, we live in.
Everyone's breathing, but some are living.
Romance is overrated; love doesn't exist.
All smiles for the pictures, happiness in chemicals—
dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins.
What are we, robots or machines?
What happened to humanity?
Nowadays, being an open book
Is not a good look.
Whatever happened to writing compassionate letters,
giving time to what truly matters?
Such a cruel world is this!
Beauty is Botox and surgeries;
hookup culture rules, believers of love are fools.
What happened to hugging the trees
and running with the gentle breeze?
What happened to singing with starlings,
strolling near streams,
putting wildflowers in hair,
fish stroking your feet bare?
What happened to humanity?
The wise losing their sanity,
the dumb being prideful of their insanity.
Everywhere you go, you find hypocrites,
Preaching morals to nitpicks.
( Picture a Wrestling ring The Rock's music playing only I'm the one in the ring about to deliver a promo straight from the Attitude Era)
Finally Morbid has come back to Poerysoup.com!
That's right folks I am back it's been a while, more surgeries kept me sidelined and I spent a while writing raps and battling on RapPad.co that was fun but too much drama. I had to walk away from it. I'll hopefully be writing more soon. I've missed you all!
Thee art of hacking into phone's for Google photos my stalkers hacked in my families computer exposing documents medical records surgeries ect. be careful storing files this could become dangerous I was forced to change passwords email creating several accounts to prevent hacking these stalkers actually sent your private audience to public in order to stalk other family members stay safe stay vigil photos of my injuries my husband’s surgeries my children surgeries taken decades ago for medical research exposed senseless stalkers home computers are for storing medical records photos for future surgeries skin graphs plastic surgeries stem cells bone cancer go fund me caring bridge including hospice to be faxed to doctors to save lives stop hacking into personal medical information University of Queen Mary Syria Dubai Pakistani people Indian Medical University
Sitting in the specialty clinic
when this big word is tossed
in our laps I watched my son
tumble flip play football soccer
tumble play baseball yes we all
knew he was short but now after
injury this unexpected diagnosis
I'm completely stunned hopeful
but how many surgeries bone loss
bone death I still can't pronounce
the word Achondroplasia never in
my vocabulary a form of dwarfism
normal size person with the hereditary
gene can have short bones in the foot
arms or fingers bones that are weak
soft dying degenerative bone loss when
I gave birth I counted ten toes ten
fingers who would dream of testing
degenerative bone loss passed down
from the father's gene we pray knowing
there is no cure so we gather research
therapeutic braces shoes and surgeries
god keep my family safe staying in my faith
Data captured devices compromised
severe fret what’s next identity theft
cybersecurity risk cyberattack finally
power threats wire money now to
release your data life as you once
knew is oblivion the feeling of unsafe
out of control unauthorised access
to personal information encrypted files
cell phones are melted laptops humming
cell towers confused victims removing
replacing sim cards while watching
documents photos of loved ones
vanish into a vault marked national
publications data breach factories
farms industries ceases production
hospital systems crash patients are
given the wrong medications wrong
surgeries sudden death planes fall
quickly from the sky vanishing control
towers compromised chaos technical
glitches global hostage situation FBI
scrambles the uncertainty allows
for panic what is safe in America a
warm blanket apple cider cherry pie
God bless America
I gave up my drivers license because of my poor eyesight,
but after two surgeries I have my eyesight back;
so, I must take the driving test again and learn all rules,
especially all the traffic signs and lights.
Stop, yield, no parking, no left, etc turn, school bus stops,
the buses are in a range of sizes but are all yellow;
with SCHOOL BUS displayed, we must stop 20 meters away,
either from the back or front and watch for kids.
Some buse have red flashing lights, some have stop sign arms,
we must remain stopped until the the bus is finished;
even so, be careful for children walking across the street,
and children running and darting out suddenly.
Often there is a school bus crossing guard, with a stop sign,
stop your car on the line, remain until everyone;
has crossed and then proceed slowly, kids are unpredictable,
so be ready to stop your car at any moment.
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