Snark Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Premium Member My Favorite Color

sweet pink
I think

best shade
now made

when light
so right

when bright
alright

when dark
no snark

Premium Member Adorable

There once was a thoughtless remark
Trying hard to seem cutting and stark
But I laughed at the bite
Such a cute little sight
‘Cause their snark was adorable bark

Premium Member Gossip Gladiators

They march like a circus of self appointed kings
Waving their gossip around like puppets on strings
They whisper my name like it’s top secret news
Buddy relax…I’m not Bigfoot in shoes

They huddle in corners with insider facts
Somehow their stories come up missing the facts
They talk like detectives with clues they invented
Solving the case of, “Im jealous but vented!”

They post little comments with bravery borrowed
Courage on loan due back by tomorrow
Roasting me in public with chest puffed bravado
Vanishing in person like where’s Waldo?

They act like professors of all about me
Skipping every class past Assumption 103
They major in drama with minors in snark
Graduating daily with honors in bark


Premium Member preoccupied

It’s Monday - again - every time I look around,
it seems like it’s Monday again.

Weekdays I run on snark and caffeine.
If I seem preoccupied.. 
I’m not ignoring you, I’m buffering

My playlists soothe and understand me
I’m not ignoring you, I’m reorganizing a playlist.

My mood is linked to Wi-Fi strength.
I’m not ignoring you, I’m doom scrolling.

On weekends, we put the ‘pro’ in procrastination
we take the celibacy out of celebration
and work on our romantic cardio

Sometimes you gotta pop-out and show your alignment
I’m not ignoring you, I just don’t want to pull a bird-finger muscle
.
.
A song for this:
The Politics of Dancing (12" Extended Mix) by Re-Flex
Without Him by Triste Janero

Starc having a lark


Hefty lefty lever trademark arc

Bazball achiever didn't embark

Whooping hooping looping shark

Hark that howling hallmark bark

Whizzing tizzing fizzing spark

Disembark batters off the park

Stoking smoking poking lark

Scary lairy fairy benchmark

Another sarky snark remark

In-jagger ragger dagger stark

Mighty Blighty's lights gone dark

Stagger..swagger malarkey of STARC!

Premium Member The Hunting of Boojumous Snarks

The hunting of Boojumous Snark,
It ain't but no kind of a lark.
It's best to wear lead,
From toes to the head,
And aim 'twixt the eyes with a quark.


A wilderness of mirrors 25-04-25

Once I stumbled into a forest
Where every surface shimmered like glass,
Introducing me; a foreign tourist,
To a world where every tree was endowed silver leaves.

I peered anxiously into every leaf
Hoping to see what every reflection thought of me;
Whether the branches opened to my pleas,
A nod of approval? Or a sway of animosity.

Slowly I’ve come to see that they don’t matter -at least-
They don’t lie or accuse or snark - they can’t even speak.
They only reflect what is truly there,
Raw, unfiltered and clean.

Behind the silver mirrors,
Spring has never felt so green.

Dark

Caroline is an old clerk,                                                           Now she is out of work,                                                          She has no special perk,                                                         She wants to find the jark,                                                         So she goes to the park,                                                              It is very dense dark,                                                                She walks on the tree's bark,                                                  She hears the sound of snark,                                           Finally she finds the secret mark,                                          She also sees a lovely lark,                                                         It tries to shirk,                                                                 Suddenly ,it catches by a spark,                                             And it has become a chark ,                                                         Alas! I am not a nark.

Premium Member senryus

We were at a small
bar, the place only served some
older regulars.

An elderly guy
in an old jean jacket was
talkative, friendly.

“What do girls learn at
Yale?” He asked. “We’re taught things, like
expressions, smiling,

pomposity, snark,
whatevering and stuff-stuff.”
I bragged shamelessly.

“Sure,” He chuckled, “sure
- but it’s worth the money I suppose,”
he gave me a toast.

Limiting yourself
can, in fact, set you free - try
writing a Senryu

Like a martial art,
a tea ceremony or
classical music

They are a tight dance -
controlled, disciplined, focused.
Other styles can drift.

A Senryu is like
a Haiku except it deals
with human feelings
.
.

A Haiku/Senryu should three lines of 5-7-5 syllables
A Haiku should be about nature
A Senryu about human feelings
#senryu #haiku #focus #freedom #limits

Premium Member Caloric Conundrum

The cheesecake in the bakery I want to devour,
dag-gone my crumbling willpower!
It's cherry topping so high,
makes me want to cry.
I walk on past the candy aisle,
and gaze at the cereal shelves awhile.
Euell Gibbon's "sticks and pebbles"
Grape Nuts brand-
that kind of breakfast I cannot stand.

Give me a cupcake piled with frosting,
never mind, the "guilt calisthenics" 
afterwards would be exhausting!
Stepping on the scale I hate,
I'd much prefer Kit Harington was my date,
yes, that's quite a fantasy,
so bugger off- I'm in my sixties!

My slim grandchildren eat like lumberjacks,
I gain easily, my metabolism is wack,
their ice cream consumption is legendary,
as I scowl eating yogurt and boysenberries.

If there is a monument somewhere for us
who try to lose weight,
before they engrave my name on, do hesitate,
as I'm hiding in my room and munching
in the dark,
peanut butter patties Girl Scout cookies-
but don't give me any snark!

Colonoscopy

Colonoscopy


Colonoscopy,
strikes dread. It’s not too bad - when
Colon trouble free.

Jules Verne-like travel,
up your ****, spelunking through
strange, pink-ridged caverns.

Hunting for the snark,
or boojum, or polyp, who
feasts, darkly, in there.

Snipety-snap - jaws,
polyp-snatch; dragging from view,
miscreant tissue.

Pathology dock -
destined. Tried in the morning,
suspected malign.

Tried.. judged innocent.
Callooh! callay! It vanished
softly — my boojum.

Premium Member Include Shark and Mcquark

Dear neighbor Snark, can we please build an ark?
We could use little McCark’s elm tree bark.
I don’t know Marc, is this a trick or a lark?
Not if we include my cousin Clark.
The one Des Moines police use as a nark?
Yeah. Meet us behind blue skateboard park.
And be sure to include Shark and McQuark.

Premium Member No Rhyme Or Reason

No rhyme or reason, this prolific verse
Comes flooding forth, least none can be explained
By blows to head, nor tumor sprouted, worse,
No courses in linguistics entertained.

Commencing with a rather simple dare
To cut the snark, to soften it with rhyme,
Yet in the midst, longing discovered there,
With lilting phrase, to scale the sweet sublime.

The recent shift in target audience,
to Bible tales for precious progeny,
Left higher forms arrested in suspense,
And made it crystal clear for eyes to see;

Though unbeknownst, forsythian sprang the muse,
Of late, I fear I channel Doctor Seuss.

----------

I think this was one of my first, back in '15 or so... At this point, I have no idea where 'forsythian' comes from, other than it is a prolific, flowering plant possessed of the proper number of syllables, lol.

Open

All has opened as far as it can today.
A 357 magnum Champagne bottle
brought down a wild unicorn –
frothy weeps the sea-snark.

How far open can a person get
and still live with those
ever expanding universes
inside them.
The spreading starfish
in a fluorescent splash of moonlight
knows how far.

The inevitable wilt returns,
but possibly tomorrow we may find
an even greater caliber to be fired from.

Premium Member Jabb Her Vaccsee

'Twas slightly scary in terms doctors know
did nurses nimble who would pass this way.
Prickly plied do glories go
so soon alas undismayed.

Long time in fact she thought
jabbed her vaccsees as she fought.
Needling here high 'n low
ends to this virus she so sought.

Come flee false harms some speakers sent
ner fears those thinnius wackovaccs.
Lest all hear harms we will allay
to get her heartfelt heathland back.

'Twas slightly scary in terms doctors know
did nurses nimble who would pass this way.
Prickly plied do glories go
so soon alas undismayed.





Notes: Attribution to Lewis Carroll for his classics
in onomatopoeia, portmanteau, nonsense rhyme
devices - Jabberwocky, The Hunting of the Snark

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