Caloric Conundrum

The cheesecake in the bakery I want to devour, dag-gone my crumbling willpower! It's cherry topping so high, makes me want to cry. I walk on past the candy aisle, and gaze at the cereal shelves awhile. Euell Gibbon's "sticks and pebbles" Grape Nuts brand- that kind of breakfast I cannot stand. Give me a cupcake piled with frosting, never mind, the "guilt calisthenics" afterwards would be exhausting! Stepping on the scale I hate, I'd much prefer Kit Harington was my date, yes, that's quite a fantasy, so bugger off- I'm in my sixties! My slim grandchildren eat like lumberjacks, I gain easily, my metabolism is wack, their ice cream consumption is legendary, as I scowl eating yogurt and boysenberries. If there is a monument somewhere for us who try to lose weight, before they engrave my name on, do hesitate, as I'm hiding in my room and munching in the dark, peanut butter patties Girl Scout cookies- but don't give me any snark!