Long Snark Poems
Long Snark Poems. Below are the most popular long Snark by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Snark poems by poem length and keyword.
She was the type who dressed only in darks,
a ‘non-conformist’ teen who bathed in snark,
in black lipstick her smile did hide,
row of piercings ran above her eyes.
Her family came in October to my inn,
a bed-and-breakfast in a Victorian,
early fall I made it over into
a classic Gothic house, for a scare of two.
It was a lot of fun, so said our guests,
the town said my Haunted House was the best,
but as the goth walked in, looked from her phone,
she rolled her eyes hard and let out a groan.
She went to my mummy, Ammon-Hotap,
said,”How much toilet paper went into that?”
Seeing my Dracula, she laughed and proclaimed:
“He’s been done to death, so tired and tame.”
My bell-hop dressed himself as Wolf-man,
with the family’s baggage, he gave a hand,
she went up to him as he was working,
said,”Dude, for your sake, the big box is hiring.”
I bit back a strong urge to choke the runt,
or call her a bad name that rhymed with ‘bunt,’
so I faked a smile, went to help too,
said,”Right this way folks, I’ll show you your rooms.”
After I had the parents settled in,
I asked the goth girl,”Do you need anything?”
She gave me a look, said,”Before you go,
I need the WiFi password, for my phone.”
I shrugged and said,”We won’t have internet.”
And she let out a shriek that awoke the dead!
Never before had I heard such a scream,
it was probably heard by half the county.
All the ghosts and goblins did not do the trick,
but you take the gadgets, it gets scary quick.
I guess next year I’ll have to change the display,
to reflect what terrifies the kids these days.
Mark Clarke was the gentlest man of Denmark
Yet considered by all a most unlikely patriarch
He was proud being Noah’s apprentice on the ark
Mark was in charge of ensuring all the animals did embark
Two by two in harmony, elephant, giraffe, tiger, and aardvark
Shared the gameplan with the many types of whale and shark
Ensured every bird was onboard, especially the skylark
Mark’s wondrous inventory was classified by icon and footmark
And sometimes in the margin he would jot a special remark
Hoping no one would notice he found neither unicorn nor snark
For weeks torrential rains made the sky darkest dark
They prayed for the rainbow, that long-awaited coloured arc
When the rains finally subsided they looked for the closest park
Everyone had cabin fever and were ecstatic to disembark
Rowdiness of meow, oink, purr, caw, growl, snarl and bark
Plans were soon ongoing to celebrate with a feisty spark
Evaluating the damage up and down and all around Hark!
Mark said Yeah, that’s gonna leave quite a watermark
AP: Honorable Mention 2020
There’s an old joke, “Procrastinate now, because
the sooner you fall behind, the longer you’ll have to catch up.”
Ha ha.
While a lot of students around here, even the good ones,
are procrastinators, I’m a diagnosed pre-crastinator.
I obsess over syllabuses and start things immediately.
I've got rough drafts of things due three months from now.
I’m a planner. Leisure time makes me itch.
I say that to say this, I’m reaping my rewards.
There’s a palpable layer of fret in the air.
Everyone's (the seniors) talking about their theses,
and how they need to start it—first thing yesterday.
I just listen, playing Flappy Bird on my phone, because I’m done.
When my professor handed my thesis paper back the other day,
he said, “This is good.” At first, I was delighted, quietly rocking it inside.
Then I floundered, becoming somewhat indignant. Why’d he sound surprised? Because I handed it in a little (80 days) early?
But soon enough, I was back to happiness.
I’ll have to defend it one day, but I’ll go first, wait and see.
Shall we wax poetic?
I’m like the sea, always restless
and I enjoy the flavor of honest effort.
I dub snark, and the little, jealous glances,
I blunt them with chey smiles, while thinking,
I’ll row my boat, and you row yours—just a little slower.’
Let them whisper me freakish
though I win a thousand crowns,
the real pleasure lies in my gun slinger’s sang-froid,
to finish the commission first and be the best.
.
.
Songs for this:
Let Me Down Easy by Gang of Youths
Let Me Go by CAKE
We were at a small
bar, the place only served some
older regulars.
An elderly guy
in an old jean jacket was
talkative, friendly.
“What do girls learn at
Yale?” He asked. “We’re taught things, like
expressions, smiling,
pomposity, snark,
whatevering and stuff-stuff.”
I bragged shamelessly.
“Sure,” He chuckled, “sure
- but it’s worth the money I suppose,”
he gave me a toast.
Limiting yourself
can, in fact, set you free - try
writing a Senryu
Like a martial art,
a tea ceremony or
classical music
They are a tight dance -
controlled, disciplined, focused.
Other styles can drift.
A Senryu is like
a Haiku except it deals
with human feelings
.
.
A Haiku/Senryu should three lines of 5-7-5 syllables
A Haiku should be about nature
A Senryu about human feelings
#senryu #haiku #focus #freedom #limits
They march like a circus of self appointed kings
Waving their gossip around like puppets on strings
They whisper my name like it’s top secret news
Buddy relax…I’m not Bigfoot in shoes
They huddle in corners with insider facts
Somehow their stories come up missing the facts
They talk like detectives with clues they invented
Solving the case of, “Im jealous but vented!”
They post little comments with bravery borrowed
Courage on loan due back by tomorrow
Roasting me in public with chest puffed bravado
Vanishing in person like where’s Waldo?
They act like professors of all about me
Skipping every class past Assumption 103
They major in drama with minors in snark
Graduating daily with honors in bark
Written: January 16, 2024
_________________________________________
Ephemeral grave is tangled with gloom,
Putting faith in ethereal womb of doom.
Being without other choice but to exist,
Simply succeed while enigma will persist.
Decreased exertion and surrender of disgrace,
Observe as contrasts come together and embrace.
Lord may lift souls while they are in bliss,
All sources laud benefits of imbibing happiness.
Self-isolation from these events is crucial,
Ample mythologically adorned quilts are brutal.
Geometries persistent digits flicker and tear,
When slight hints fade sparkles may flare.
Say farewell to wailing, sobbing, and conflict,
To grasp, be silent as if one were on a kids list.
If you've had a blind tantrum, crying will ease,
Manage to hold back a few tears and freeze.
An ambiance that exudes the subconscious,
Fosters you to shun the world's vicissitudes.
To grasp the initial deeds of sane conscious,
Bear tweaks to cycles, sites, and attitudes.
Invoke kinetic and spatial faces of happiness.
To gain and claim deep solace with meditation.
When you block out snark and scrappiness
Intrinsic in craziness and disgrace of attention.
You feast on an evil, hedonistic world,
Wealthy and potent live there, trampling poor.
Individuals catapulted, coiled, and furled,
To decay on edge of bliss land as a pest boar
I lost focus and was just lying, living free,
Blindness revealed the demon's void spree.
You can't find peace if you're mired in excess,
Let chaos cease, undo the knot of joy access.
An ailment is reborn in recesses of mind.
Once-ignored psyche is hardly idle behind.
Ancient souls were rekindled—an ardent revival.
Vivid delight is now tinged with teary cheer arrival
Emoticon Yellows
If I were rich, which is a crime
I could do anything I wished
Claim my rights and entitlements as “affluenza”
But I’m an ordinary cyberpunk
A regular yellow kind of guy
An emoticon with an attitude
Manscaping, sliding through life with a close shave
Cantankerous and bodacious all the time
In chillax style, riding the daily yellow bus
Dragging my portmanteaus box inside
And my delishful gal with me there
Clad in fashionable plarn
Irregardless of everything else
We rise above the sights and flee
Above the ancient vomitocious towns
And meld into each other’s grue calm eyes
Canoodling all the while
Smog passes with the night
Snark comments distract us
An anacronym word or two slips out
But we don’t care
We’re off to spend the affluenza check
Just to prove we can
(PORTMANTEAUS words: “PORTMANTEAUS Box” all contest entry listed words
+ "canoodling" - hugs and kisses and "cantankerous- old and feisty )
8/19/14 Portmanteaus Poetry Contest
Caroline is an old clerk, Now she is out of work, She has no special perk, She wants to find the jark, So she goes to the park, It is very dense dark, She walks on the tree's bark, She hears the sound of snark, Finally she finds the secret mark, She also sees a lovely lark, It tries to shirk, Suddenly ,it catches by a spark, And it has become a chark , Alas! I am not a nark.
As a writer, I am charmingly unoriginal. I use the same letters as everyone else and much of the identical punctuation but in my defense, Coca-Colas are all the same, and each one is delightfully refreshing.
On Sundays my Grandmère throws these fêtes, ‘social lunches’ where anyone might drop in - attendance, I‘m told, can be a social signal. Two weeks ago, it was fashion week and ‘smart society’ (the vampire pale and dangerously thin individuals casually dressed to kill) were trolling for fun.
There were about 150 people there, like the Mayor of Paris, Saint Laurent’s Anthony Vaccarello, Léna Situations (GenZ influencer), Just Riadh (comedian), Delphine Arnault and the Archbishop of Paris - to name a few. But I was only there for a half an hour, and it wasn’t my job to take roll.
Now, these parties all play-out, to me, like romcom ‘problem comedies.’ You have the ever-present and delicate aroma of cocktails, an Archbishop (subconsciously dangling the high trap of moral purification and great, heavenly rewards), elder frenchmen, like my uncle Remy with his languid, cigarette-lipped, smoke-cured profanity, some models hoping to be seen and younger, eager eyed, corporate boy-men types ogling every feminine creature with alcoholic heartiness.
I don’t think Grandmère sees the fun undercard of human foibles, but there are big alcohol-fueled feelings in every register as these events hit their peak. Growing up, at these things, I’d sit quietly in a corner, usually with a book, pretending to read and just people watch. Everyone’s coming and going (‘free-drinks’) but 30 or 40 people are always around somewhere.
These days, Peter shares my little, flowered, corner settee. We sit, shoulder to shoulder, and snark, like huckstas for a sports book, about who’s thirsty for whom. It’s all questionable information, surface impressions and instant verdicts.
.
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A Song for this:
Someone In The Crowd - Emma Stone, Callie Hernandez, Sonoya Mizuno & Jessica Rothe
What have you done, for you look like a perch?
On Botox you should've done some research
I won't sugarcoat it
You look very bloated
Your face is engorged, and some will besmirch
Resembling a puffer with puckered lips
I wanna pop them with my fingertips
Dress yourself up in lace
Get rid of that fish face
Girl, you better get real and come to grips!
Your booty sticks out. You've such a huge butt
People laugh behind your back when you strut
They giggle and they wink
Some even say you stink
Like a three-day old catch of Halibut
Your teeth are threatening like a hungry shark
Who'd bite me like a mad dog with a bark
You're known as a stinker
Caught, hook, line and sinker
People point at you and call you a snark
You are as fishy as a speckled trout
So nice to people before it's found out
It's nothing but a show
Just a smoke screen you blow
A tasteless fish thrown back, without a doubt
You've earned the deserved name of big mouth bass
A loose lip fish without an ounce of class
Kicked out of many schools
Cause they didn't like fools
Shunned by all the Tropicals known as wrasse
You've been compared to the swimmer called 'carp'
A lesser species whose teeth are quite sharp
A catch that's not a prize
Most fishermen despise
No angel fish when it plays on a harp
Sometimes you resemble a red snapper
Belting out words like a winded rapper
Blah blah blah, on you jaw
Irksome as a jackdaw
You sound like the news anchor, Jake Tapper
When you swim in the pool, you're called a whale
Ya think that's due to the size of your tail?
In candy you indulge
It's the cause of your bulge
You might want to try a diet of kale