Short Stats Poems

How long before

Not America becomes more human

But PS figures what is poetry...

Read More

Steven Wright's knuckleball
in Texas took a fall
the Rangers' bats
increased their stats
Wright will pitch again
he might even win...

Read More

you see
how the KNEE is nee probleem nie
to rise in stats here
to beat the US and PS

PS: vapors from anything will rise, good and stinky...

Read More

Chase Johnson-Mullins
was originally thought of as one of the dull’uns
then the hyphen was added
after most of his stats were conveniently padded....

Read More

The Stats show a Brooklyn Dodger
Scored RBIs with his todger
Then one day at bat
A Foul Ball went splat
And now he's Soprano Codger 


RBI=Runs Batted In...

Read More

Weakness does not hail from heart,
Nor the least of your stats.
It comes from your strenght,
The peak of your strenght.
Strenght is the weakness of your health.
c.2017...

Read More

flipping baseball cards
in the flippin' school yard
pictures up, stats down
Drysdale, Koufax, Mantle, Spahn
or vice versa all around

retirement income source lost on the playground......

Read More

Late night tipsy chats 
So few and far between
Off the charts teasing stats
Then being left here on scene


I was bored just having a bit of fun with this one lmao!...

Read More

About a million allies and about a million foe
One foe killed an ally ’cause that’s just how battles go
And when the battle’s over, the stats are gonna show
About a million allies and about a million foe...

Read More

They once did a study that perplexes,
Making sure to sample both the sexes.
The av'rage sir or madam,
The stats declare each had 'em 
One boob, one nut - a result that vexes....

Read More

All bombs cause destruction exemplifying 
fanatic ghastly heartless infamous
jar, kindling loathe, machination nefarious 
operations pitilessly quashing
rabid sanguineous tyranny, uncivilized violence, 
warlike xenophobia, yielding zilch!...

Read More

Following her all the way,
a short top with tight jeans,
thirtysix-twenty-thirty......
feast of eyes indeed!




======================

Placement: 5th; (January 2011)

Contest:Spicy (Men entries)

Sponsor:Linda-Marie the Sweetheart

By :kashinath karmakar(1st January 2011)...

Read More

You can track your sleep
With your watch’s app
So each toss and turn 
Gets a little zap.

Still, though stats may prove
That you slept like crap,
You must know yourself,
Since your brain will map

All the signals sent
To your thinking cap,
Which will thus conclude -
Hey! You need a nap!...

Read More

Ten out of us die, the stats,
No one gets out of life alive,
So lighten up, play the clown,
Greet today with a smile, that's tough,
I survived, don't carry on so much,
Go give your filthy mouth a rinse,
You're not such a precious prince,
Ten out of ten of us die, the stats,
No one gets out of life alive....

Read More

The cat bit the rat
Cos the rat bit the bat
Cos the bat bit the gnat
Cos the gnat bit me

Because, I loved the cat
but the cat loved the bat
and the rat loved the gnat
and the bat loved me

But cats that eat rats
And bats that eat gnats
And folk who like cats
Ain’t insane to me

But all of the stats 
That say high flying bats
Can’t be chewed on by rats
Needs explainery!...

Read More

Why do you seek 
That which is yet seen
And find within not
That which is unseen

Will you not pother
Over that you can reach 
Perturb the one 
Within your touch 

But be that where 
Your sight is redundant
Steadily presents the chance 
To cerebrate stats of your being 

You are defenceless 
To what your eyes can't pierce 
Why not do
With that you can feel

Live on
Progress on life...

Read More

Five TV sets mounted on the wall
Constant movement 
All kinds of colors
Muppets, insurance commercial,
Epidemiologist, COVID 19 stats,
Star Trek, crime shows, opera singer
Breaking news, Charlie Brown, 
A community garden,  medical ads,
Ads for hand sanitizer, smiling child,
Old lady, ad for I phone, horses
I have no idea how anyone can do this all day
I watch in disbelief, seeing nothing worthwhile...

Read More

i rode a camel 
this 
morning, and forgot
to buy the morning paper
but
my three-year-old daughter
saw her first 
ever tv interview and asked;
"what's that man doing
with that massive lollipop?"
let's not dwell on stats
that don't
really mean anything
when
they removed me
from the
womb
i grabbed a top hat and mic and said to
the doc,
"your twitter account is still pumping out crypto adverts mate."...

Read More

I have pretty much all I want
A new dress or new pair of glasses?
I try it, buy it and I flaunt
Walking carelessly past the masses.

Am I happy? Care to ask?
Well that is just one silly question
Oftentimes I rhyme at work desk,
Although it is not worth the mention. 

All that I have - the comfort, cats,
Experiences, sports and travels -
I'd give up to turn the poor stats 
Of my dating scene into gravels....

Read More

I’m tired of the view from my window
With the same old shaggy dog,
Gutted out cars,
And frozen mud footprints.

Tired of the view
That focuses on screaming two year olds,
Half eaten PBJ’s,
And the lost toys that map their world.

I’m tired of
The mindless adults that don’t listen,
Spreadsheets and data bases,
And group work in Stats.

I want a view
That will change,
A view I can keep,
A view that will stay....

Read More

A new procedure’s in the works
To test your blood for fats.
It’s 90% accurate,
According to the stats.

This test is being readied now
And based on the results,
The likelihood of Alzheimer’s
Will show up in adults.

So if the answer’s positive,
In two or three more years
It’s probable that you’ll encounter
One of your worst fears.

But when this is available
I know without a doubt
They’ll get no blood from me because
I’d rather not find out....

Read More

Dad writes articles chock-full of stats.
Just refer to his latest on rats!
Both my brothers, my sis,
Mom, and I all say this:
We'd prefer sagas starring cute cats.
 

Name now one man but Dad who would say,
"Evil rats on no star live" today.
Next, I'll make you say 'WOW!'
with my ana* on cows,
Then my top spot award, I'll display.”



*a collection of noteworthy information
...

Read More

Ditch Mitch McConnell, I say,
Make room for new blood today!

He promotes a party schism,
Also, plain obstructionism.

A major fault, I can see,
Not a hoot for Kentucky.

We rank very low in stats,
Mitch tries to wear many hats.

What’s good for U.S. of A.,
Mitch quickly stands in the way.

written January 25, 2022
[Englyn poetry, a Welsh rhyming form, that
praises or criticizes sitting public officials. 
Each line may consist of only seven syllables.]...

Read More

I see them heading off to work
With RN on their chests
And wonder if their day will bring
Some cardiac arrests…

Or IV drips or stats to check
Or tender reassurance,
All a part of patient care,
A test of one’s endurance.

Whatever comes a nurse’s way,
She’s always instrumental
In helping those who suffer,
If her manner’s calm and gentle.

And mornings, by the hospital,
Before their days unfold,
I’m curious if they might dwell
On what their shifts will hold....

Read More

  Well, fellow stinging malarial insects
  They really chloroformed us this time
  You got the latest stats, Buzzer?

  Check, Bleeder: Read 'em and weep
  3,400,000 dead; 1 wounded

  Just a minute, there, Buzzer. One wounded?
  That's right, Bleeder. Critical condition too

  What's this weirdo's diagnosis, if I may ask?
  Check, Bleeder. Doc says he was OTAA on-arrival

  And just what is OTAA?
  Over-the-anthill-anyway, sir.

  Check, Buzzer... He gone!...

Read More