My heart is closed again,
Croaking with but a beat to stay alive.
It is angry, cramped.
It is remorseful,
Now scared of the possibilities,
Of false ties and
Infarct seeping once reflected.
It is drunken,
Longing to say soaking,
To inflate and explode in waves,
Clawing at it’s enclosure.
It is confused,
What are these ties?
The string woven over each other,
Wrapping and complex and unintelligible.
Elder fingers could not have the insight
Into a tale as known as this one.
My heart wants to know who you are,
But it aches still,
As my brain absorbs our string,
And it spits out Morning Glory.
1.)
Slept most of my life
Forget the stress
The best kind of strife is the kind kept repressed
Every guy just gotta accept we’re inclined to becoming depressed
You’ll never cry
Except if you gotta a good reason why
Keep your eye dressed
If you’re clever
You’ll keep your tears dry
I’ve wept without the fear of needing to confess.
Nevertheless
I lived the most whenever I’ve slept
You’d never of guessed
But I’m not exactly proud of whatever life I lead.
2.)
Warnings that we’re never really heeding
Forget about any of the poor examples preceding
Family mourning
Forgetting why we’re even meeting
Take the better trout
The man learning surely doesn’t even need it
The drinks now pouring
The Moët your clinging to is fleeting
Without a doubt
The Moët your clinging is just fleeting.
Words
Are not sufficient to express
The devastation waves that crashes
Into a dead wish
Exhaustion
Engulf the body of cocooning tiredness
To sprawl upon hard cold surfaces
Reimagine arms around
Cognizane
The lack thereof
Or rather the insufficient energy
Of helplessness wailing
Heat
The boilover pits of Dante's Inferno
Trickling forlorn perspire
Puff of hot breaths suffocatingly pants
Numb
Glazed vacant eyes pumps fuel
Creaking of vector gears
Dumb words spill as arbituary normalcy
Deadpan disguised as half truths
If words were to be expressed,I chose to be silent
If exhaustion means to live,I rather be dead
If to be held down and abide, I rather grovel while i weep
If heat is a normal occurance in a lifetime,I rather freeze to death
If my intelligence precedes your understanding,I rather play dumb
Her flame
spread upon
his heart
red on red
he faced
No prayer
in hand
or a cup
share forth
His full moon
ran away
leaving heart's
On fire
To seethe, where
Her pass hurts
9/23/22
Pick-A-Title, Vol 32 - Poetry Contest
Sponsor-Edward Ibeh
N/A
Repressed desire causes one such awful anxiety
Even though keeping it well hidden inside,
It also has a major effect on our sobriety
The heart cannot contain it, many have tried.
Even though keeping it well hidden inside
Repressed desire does irreparable damage,
The heart cannot contain it, many have tried
Sometimes sending our emotions on a rampage.
Repressed desire does irreparable damage
We cannot simply bottle up our inner feeling,
Sometimes sending our emotions on a rampage
Releasing them in a rush that sends us reeling.
We cannot simply bottle up our inner feeling
The repressed desire has a way of escaping,
Releasing itself in a rush that sends us reeling
It can become mental anguish in the making.
The repressed desire has a way of escaping
It also has a major effect on our sobriety,
It can become mental anguish in the making
Repressed desire causes one such awful anxiety.
SECOND PLACE WINNER
Written September 11, 2022
Submitted to: "Pick-a-Title Vol 32" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Edward Ibeh
Myriad desires
that our heart aspires
manifests as dreams
subconscious mind streams.
We wish to possess
objects to progress,
to enhance self-worth
for our time on earth.
Not all dreams are met,
like a Boeing jet
or a fancy yacht,
so we’re in a spot.
We never forget
what we did not get,
thus this repression
causes depression.
Rise in a jiffy
is always iffy,
so feeling hemmed in,
we resort to sin.
Our misaligned heart
is where cravings start,
until we be still,
accepting God’s will.
Silence then the way
that makes earth life play,
head-heart hand in glove,
suffused with God’s love.
Once ego’s no more,
as of old folklore,
love blows us a kiss;
we reclaim soul’s bliss.
06-September-2022
Every morning at the window aside,
I find myself waiting for the sun,
To raise up and melt the snow,
The frost so hoar and numb.
Brooding on my thoughts so long,
Never did they hatch in this icy alp,
So still I keep waiting for the sun,
To watch this avalanche realm's fall.
In the darkness of night, I waited,
With a melancholic lullaby to lull-
The lucid sky to a dreamless sleep,
So the sun can drive in brisk.
Imbibing the cold wester I lay,
With my fossilising will, to stand,
Gaped eyes set at the horizon,
Oathed never to shut but die.
Alpine sun flaming high above,
Melting ice, watering my hopes,
My reflections blooming in the buds,
I kiss my death, ineffably alive.
repressing violet memories
suppressed love of blue
formation of reactions
rationalisations
earth is revolving
around the sun now
are you absolutely certain
todays science
tomorrows ridicule
displaced reactions
inhibited intellectualisations
sun is sinking into
the womb of the
waiting barren sea
the pinky twisty tongue
taste of salt and tears
She can love you so much
yet fraught with fright
to fall in love;
like she could guard the
stars with all her soul
and tend the flowers
with all her heart,
but she would refuse to
believe that she could
pluck one
Something there
Something more than cherubim
And flaming sword
Something locking out memory
My passage and right
To travel backward in space virtually
And in time
I remember the harsh hand
Some old machete, or knife
Or rudimentary tool of a carpenter
And my overwhelming fear of amputation
Only tears cooled the hotness of my heart
I remember, but never conferred for confirmation
Who else would know
I have so late the courage confront
The irregularities of my life
And too late now, since mother left awhile now too
I know nothing about where she is gone
Telling me life can just get up
And become inanimate again without reason
Does not explain to me how I got here
Or why a random inanimate chose to be me
O but I want to go back for more petty reasons
I just to remember from the beginning
So I can understand
Why it is so inevitable, the way we end
My love yawning like a flapping door.
Repressed by a life of guilt and shame
choices I've made find it hard to find another to blame.
The walls that I build and the tears on my back
make running impossible, the strength I lack.
Certainty is certainly all that I know.
Certainty is knowing I'll reap what I sow.
To hurt another is the last I would do
if it meant I could run, to find another, be true.
Repressed by a life of guilt and shame
the life I had feared is all that remains.
Thinking of a life of peace and mind
makes living this life a lie undefined.
The undying knowledge of this loveless life
keeps me wrapped in confusion, bitterness, and strife.
Certainty is knowing what I already know
that a life with you is undeniably my all time low.
Repressed by a life of guilt and shame
the knowledge that tomorrow could bring the rain...
Rain to me is much better than sun
for it makes me feel revived, refreshed and done.
To find another and give it my all
is what I desire, no matter the fear of the fall.
To grow in another and happiness build
a life of certainty, of a veracious love, fulfilled.
for her the shrink did nothing
for her the priest even less
for her all the friends in the world
could not find her when she hid in her
deepest, darkest place---
buried down beneath the first floor in the
basement where all the past would flood in,
yes, she might have only been doing her
laundry,
but her laundry was doing so much more to her---
and the machine did oscillate
and the dust & mildew brought out the horrors
just a little more---
wanting for another human to help
wanting for someone to come & say that it will be ok,
but it doesn’t always work out that way.
and then the world stopped
when from beside her the sweet pup’s paw reached up
volunteering, placing it on her shoulder when she was
crouching.
finishing up stuffing the remainder of her clothes in the
machine,
she hugs the dog
in realization that she will get on
by any means possible
and the slobber of her pet is one more thing
that she might have overlooked,
had she not spent this time in
deep introspection---
and the bond between her growing strength &
the unknowing bliss of such an animal
is what brings a smile,
as she climbs back up the stairs to get him a
treat.
Your laughter mocks the expression on your face
Your thoughts twist slowly into words
You’d be better off with the needle
Better off with a room and a mirror
Strapped to your sanity
It seems we’ve lost again
A game with no rules
And no room to play
Destroy me again
I love the pain you send through my body
Concrete doesn’t hurt so much
As the times you give to me to breathe
Strapped to your sanity
It seems we’ve lost again
A game with no rules
And no room to play
Every ounce of rage
Concealed in a twitch
Just under the eye
But deep within my soul
Diseased by disdain
Sinister desperation in the laughter
Of these children locked inside
A daycare with barred windows
Strapped to my sanity
Pillows on the walls
I’ve found a subtle comfort in lunacy
When there are no rules to this game we play