Phone Book Poems | Examples

His Voice is Buttery

His voice is buttery says a musician critic on TV
I have no idea what buttery means
She sings her butt off
This is also curious
If she turned around, I could see this
He can sing the phone book
Couldn’t we all?
If we wanted to.
If I did, someone would beg me to stop singing
No.
Everyone would beg me to stop singing

hunting the purpose of sunlights

body dysmorphia from...
an overactive optic nerve
speculation on the dating and self worth market

get a phone book and stay inside
homeless people exist
we are not clean for we do not have civil rights
the illness is in the occupation of the united states of america
welcome to the civil war

they were gone

I was looking through my phone book 
which I have had for many many  years

where did they all go
we used to hang on street corners
                            in classes
                            at meetings 
                            on dates 
I awoke one day and 
they were gone

only their names and 
phone numbers remained

Rooster Who Outsings the Stars

We had heard of this anomaly who out-sang the stars.
The ones in the cosmos? Asked my slow cousin, Lars.
No, the movies stars, the ones you see sing on tee vee.
He’s a rooster though, how can he carry a melody?

We were not sure, but this was a rare, bold, proud bird.
He could sing the phone book, to the point of being absurd.
The rest of the neighborhood knew about his antics too.
He mastered the chicken dance, a tango, and an old soft shoe.

The Eddie Poem - To My Nephew, Eddie

Eddie McGuire made us all groan,
Eddie the eighth (VIII) abdicated the throne.
Eddie "The Eagle" flew through the sky,
Eddie Van Halen made his guitar cry.
Eddies Murphy and Izzard made us all laugh,
Eddie "The Beast" tore a phone book in half.
Eddie "The Head" was a head banger,
Eddie Sheeran has a head like a ranga!
Eddie Mabo toiled for land rights,
Eddie Alvarez got into fights.
So Eddie be proud of your name evermore,
As it's shared with the greats who are mentioned afore.
But be your own Eddie and tread your own path.
Stay humble, grow wise and keep making us laugh!

Us, Introverted

Us introverted

I had a snack bar I saw myself as the “Main Host”
talking to people being verbose and popular
something I was not patently cut out to be.
On an opening day, I hoped no one would come
and if someone let it be one at a time, no such
luck, many came buying soft drinks and burgers
I smiled and smiled, spoke gibberish and hoped
the customers would leave; haven’t they a home
to go to? Bothering me with natter.
When the café was full, I left the counter hiding
in a corner, wishing I had a Valium.
I looked up in the phone book to see if there
was a club for the insanely shy people could go 
there had been such a club, but naturally, no one came
 they were lurking outside, thinking
of going in but feared there might be many people
I knew of a man who had a used furniture shop
when customers came, he hid in a wardrobe until
They, thinking the shop was empty; needless to say
he couldn’t pay the rent.
After days of suffering at the hands of my phobia
I got a woman to front the counter while I cooked
and cleaned the dishes.
No, I’m not the “Main Host,” we can’t all become what
we dream of becoming.

100 Years Beyond

100 Years Beyond
David J Walker

And after all
The mirror did not reflect any of the rain
From last Fall

Dryness is the grand prize won at contests of skill
At county fairs 

Young girls always find ways to be perfect  at something but
Boys don’t seem to care

Today we have scheduled a tour of an antique shop 
On the older end of 34th street 
Sanitation engineers supply the wares 

A friend of a friend knows someone who remembers when
It was a dirt road

Many of the names on the sidewalk shingles are 
Familiar and are the same printed in the phone book 
On the nicer side of town

100 years ago turns out to be closer than I thought 
Which means 100 years from now is almost here

The Truest Heart

Oh, lovely darling
I would be all yours...
of your devotion to me
were felt honestly;
we would be 
one heart, 
one soul...
who is more powerful:
us or destiny?
We should hold hands
and feel our heartbeat:
trust is not built on lies!

Are you looking for a sexy man...
Someone who can get you to Heaven?
I can't give diamond rings:
only the truest heart! 
Being beautiful is
an advantage and a curse;
hundreds of guys' names
are listed in your phone book...
they send you likes on Facebook!

I can't give you diamond rings:
only the truest heart;
they charm you with words
that hides honesty...
they are promises 
that will fade quickly!
Be wise, hold me tight:
they won't break us apart!

It's sung to my own Musical of " The Truest Heart. "

Names Today

Nobody has a common name; we are named Apple and Broom.
Because movie stars did it, and they are glamorous and rich.
Apple is okay with it, Broom is dour though, full of gloom.
Why not Curtain or Couch? He often wonders or Matt or Mitch.

You think you have a problem? That is noting Waylin Eatstockings said.
He could not change his last name, and horrible teasing made his face red.
What about me? Asked a girl named Panty Waist McNeal.
Your name is a Godsend, a blessing, truly no real big deal.

Broom met Mop, who concurred with what the others expressed.
I am resigned to my fate, she said. I guess it’s time I confessed.
My sister is Sparkle, and my Brother is Puppy Dog Glows.
So Mop is not that bad in my family. My brother is Big Sugar Toes.

What ever happened to Dick and Jane? The old schoolers asked.
They looked through the phone book, deciding it was a big task.
There were Bed Pans and Axe Handles, and other weird crazy names.
I guess the times are wild now, whereas we grew up in mild Thames.

Rooms

Quince wads pack gaps in particleboard.
Yellow newspapers underlay linoleum.
The apartment is a nicotine
an atlas of a blotched sky
can be read on the ceiling.

He has a friend that he visits once a week;
she will stand in front of him to masturbate.
Her apartment walls are paper thin. She tells him
that at night her neighbors scratch on them;
she thinks they are writing to her.

Later they go out to a small pub, 
sit quietly in a corner
holding hands until closing time.

One day she is not there.
He scans the headlines, obituary columns,
the classified ads --- there is no news.
Weeks pass.  Her parents live in Surrey,
he can't find them in the phone book.

He stops looking for the lost.

Fire, Fire

FIRE, FIRE
The house is burning round me,
There’s no time to hang about.
Just enough for me to get
A few essentials out.

First, up to the bathroom
To collect my medications.
To a lifelong hypochondriac,
They’re vital preparations.

Next, the photo albums; 
I just can’t let them burn.
My life recorded through a lens,
Through every twist and turn.

The car is parked close to the house;
 I’m afraid it might explode.
So I have to find the car keys,
To move it down the road.

My fire insurance policy
Covers such a fate.
I’d better take that with me,
To prove it’s up to date.

I have to take my cell phone;
It’s full if information.
A phone book and a Filofax,
My life’s organisation.

I’ve put my warmest coat on,
Although the weather’s sunny.
Well, my wallet’s in the pocket,
Full of credit cards and money.

And, lastly, my computer,
To keep me in the loop,
And make sure I can enter
This poem in Poetry Soup.

Phone Books

The purpose of a phone book
Back when I was very small
Was to raise the height of children
Who were young and not too tall.

The kiddie table sat them first
But then they weren’t part of
The main event of which they hoped
To squeeze into the heart of.

So when their parents gave consent
They joined the grown-up table
Yet being short, to reach their plates
They simply weren’t able.

So phone books to the rescue!
With the slightest little push
A directory was placed beneath
Each toddler’s waiting tush.

The meal went on until those kids
Were bundled off to slumber
And never did we use those books
To find one single number!

My Friend Told Me This

Cooking is sexual and senual. Naught!
I must be distraught
To give this any more thought.
Be brave
Don't cave
Just smile, wave
And wonder how someone could get this 
Deprave
Or caught
Up in such a thought.
All the heat
The sweat, 
The mess, and the clean up isn't neat.
To be honest this is fought
With perils I wasn't taught.
I didn't feel any deceit just over wrought
Until I sought
As an after thought
The phone book for CALL IN--CARRY OUT.

Growing Old Disgracefully

My middle aged spread sure is spreading
Right before my very eyes
My tush is the size of a hippo
And I dare not mention my thighs

My once pert boobies have gone south
They were once like ripe juicy fruit
Now they're dangling towards my knees
So no one sees me in my birthday suit!

I’ve more chins than the Chinese phone book
In fact I look like a little fat Buddha 
I’d considered having cosmetic surgery … but
Some of the celebrity pictures sure me shudder!

Fiction poem for fun

10-09-17

I Don'T Know Why Cliches Are Bad

Every poet worth their sault
Every teacher and professor declare you will prove to be as dense as a London fog
Using clichés
But I think clichés make it clear as the nose on your face
That there are things as beautiful as the day is long
And as far as the eye can see
As many to enjoy as there are chins in a Chinese phone book
So my advice to young writers,
From time to time abandon the ship USS Proper Expression
Be above board
Do an about face
Make clear as a bell
That a rose by any other name does still smell as sweet
That absence still makes the heart grow founder
Airing dirty laundry is a no no
And if you must have an ace up your writer's sleeve
Let it be a cliché!

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