Names Today

Nobody has a common name; we are named Apple and Broom.
Because movie stars did it, and they are glamorous and rich.
Apple is okay with it, Broom is dour though, full of gloom.
Why not Curtain or Couch? He often wonders or Matt or Mitch.

You think you have a problem? That is noting Waylin Eatstockings said.
He could not change his last name, and horrible teasing made his face red.
What about me? Asked a girl named Panty Waist McNeal.
Your name is a Godsend, a blessing, truly no real big deal.

Broom met Mop, who concurred with what the others expressed.
I am resigned to my fate, she said. I guess it’s time I confessed.
My sister is Sparkle, and my Brother is Puppy Dog Glows.
So Mop is not that bad in my family. My brother is Big Sugar Toes.

What ever happened to Dick and Jane? The old schoolers asked.
They looked through the phone book, deciding it was a big task.
There were Bed Pans and Axe Handles, and other weird crazy names.
I guess the times are wild now, whereas we grew up in mild Thames.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

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Hawkins Avatar
November 5, 2021 at 5:46 PM
No thought to the poor children who are given these ridiculous names. Worse when the surname makes it more laughable.DAWN CROW etc....
Krutsinger Avatar
November 6, 2021 at 3:54 PM
How about the people who named the 12 pound newborn girl Snow and their last name is White?
Goldsmith Avatar
November 5, 2021 at 9:09 AM
Another fun/creative write. You are soooo good at this. I know 2 people that their parents could not spell the name they wanted their child to have. They got another name. Misspelled on the birth papers. They both found out when they got to school. The teacher was calling them by a different name. Way tooooo funny. Have a blessed day...............
Krutsinger Avatar
November 5, 2021 at 10:13 AM
Oh that is hilarious!
Wolf Avatar
November 4, 2021 at 8:17 PM
Personally I prefer Rihanna, LaShonda and Taekwondo. lol. ~ Amrami
Krutsinger Avatar
November 5, 2021 at 10:13 AM
I know a bunch of those names too
Hankins Avatar
November 4, 2021 at 11:54 AM
Wow. I remember when it was Jim and Judy instead of Dick and Jane. I wonder if anyone else remembers. They had a dog named Spot. Amazing that I still remember first grade reading!
Krutsinger Avatar
November 4, 2021 at 11:58 AM
I remember Puff the Cat and Mittens too.
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