flowers drink sunshine
petals prance colors designs
dog pees on green leaves
Happy
Yappy
Husky
Puppy
Barking
Playing
Jumping
Running
Growing
Showing
Stronger
Vigour
Guarding
Barking
Growling
Marking
Pees trees
With ease
Declines
Bath times
Bribes him
I win
Years past
Too fast
Sleeps more
Joints sore
Time to
Let go
Tail waves
Bye bye
Asleep
I weep
Sky shows
Rainbow
He leaves
I grieve.
The air can be relatively silent
or noiseful wind – sort of like,
flatulence – both blessing and
curse~ depending on where and
when. The who, more often, not
forthright.
Do we wrongly blame
God, for our own airs – what we
take in and give off, lusts of the
appetite, making foul smelling of
an otherwise sacred dwelling?
To my mind, better we
advocate for greener mountains, and less
polluted seas – myself, not so fond of skin ulcers,
burning, blistering pees.
No Second Coming, till our own transformation
Christ is not late
We are….
Little Jill loves boating
while big Will water-skies
She holds her water till they dock,
while in the lake Will pees.
Jill goes out sometimes with Phil.
She has a little snack,
but all the crap on Phil’s big plate
could cause a heart attack.
Jill met a guy whose name is Gill.
He thinks that he’s so cool.
But by the way he acts, we know
he never got through grade school.
Jill has her eye on a new guy.
They call him Silly Billy.
Although he’s buff, Jill has been told
he’s got a tiny willy.
Jill has kissed a girl named Milly.
She'll still date a guy,
but she liked that kiss so much,
maybe Jill’s gone Bi.
Tried to prevent,
Dogs from snacking on the cat litter smorgasbord.
Bought a gate,
But it's too late!
Cats to old,
Not very bold.
Pees outside of gate,
Oh, what to do,
He's peed in my shoe!
The gate works fine,
For those dogs of mine.
Now if I could just get my cat,
To pee on the other side!
While he's still alive!
A transgender person from Lees,
Undergoing the "change" by degrees,
Faced the final decision,
Ere the final incision,
Should she sit or stand up when she pees?
July 30, 2023
Entered in A Bawdy or Funny Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchen
4th Place
old dog
pees on oriental rug
angry
The rolling humpback hills
dips down into the valley
Fading off into the horizon.
Giving the illusions of vast herds of buffalos.
Roaming and grazing peacefully
Across the sun lite plains,
Over fertile fields of wheat and wild grasses.
Stretching into native lakes,
Surrounded by tall-growing bulrush weeds,
And cattails gracefully arching into magical gateways,
with every little breeze, your imagination
travels on a journey with mother nature.
Riding the flowing rivers filled with speckled trout shimmering across the sun lite waters.
Up Over the moss, and onto the banks beyond the tee pees into wind swept prairies with herds of buffalos
and dancing with daffodils bending and swaying,
over the grassy hills and dales.
in your imagination
When I was seventeen said he
You know how far that I could pee?
Across the mississip
He said, undoing zip.
No need to show me now, I plea.
Why that's nothing, said his brother,
They oft goaded one another,
I had such awesome flow
That in a single go
I filled Moon Lake, and one other.
Their friend said; you all call that pee
I once powered my friend's jet-ski
Tied tightly to the rear
That thing sure did career
Set off like a screaming banshee.
During all this friendly baiting
The three of them stood there waiting
Each of them hanging out
Their now small shriveled spout
Bladders slow in activating.
Tall Tales 1 Poetry Contest placed 2nd
Sponsored by: Jeff Kyser
Date wrote: 4th March 2022
https://www.rhymezone.com/
https://www.howmanysyllables.com/syllable_counter/
Heavenly Flushes
It makes one wonder if the angels blush
When heavenly loos need a stately flush
When it pees with rain do they feel exposed
Are toilets in heaven made from fine gold.
There’s another thing that I’d wish to know
To where o where do heaven’s flushes flow
Is pee angel rain, is earth heaven’s drain
Is that what helps grow a floral domain.
I got an answer that came in a dream
Heaven has a purifying machine
Angels pee is scent with magic content
Made from the master’s creative intent.
So do not be afraid to drink water
Every sister, brother, son or daughter
Streams, rivers and sea are pure as can be
Thank the angels for their gift of sweet pee.
7th October 2021
The Throne in Heaven Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Jack Webster
At the pool hall, the bathroom was closed.
Pipes were punctured, the plumber supposed;
But some pro had to go,
Thinking no one would know
If his flow didn’t have him exposed.
So he piddled but there were some clues,
For some drops hit competitors’ shoes.
Soon a sign on the wall
Was a warning to all –
Players, please mind your pees and your cues!
Written February 28, 2021 for the Two Limericks Contest
of Tania Kitchin. Syllable count self-checked.
cute as a button
his name is little skunk U
when he pees, le pew !
Mango's are tasty
And oranges are orange,
Apple be on my mind
As I decipher the laws of gravity,
Moms always say "eat your greens"...!
So I took my pees
Vege served on tables,
Lemon slices on glass sides
A yellow day like the lemonade,
Glasses as screen preserving the soar within,
Life with its bitter moments,
So we weep like when we cutting onions..
Tears of cooking but the food will taste good,
Stove on and the kitchen warm!
"if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen"
In the dinning room waiting to be served,
Tables and chairs to the set up of the table,
Napkins laid out and chairs drawn out,
And we all eat with a folk and knife:
The choices of life, dreams on a platter!
To choosing the right portions for consumption,
catered and dined, by fine woman with "hills"...
We all reached the top,
Red wines to black suites,
with blue ties and a white handkerchief,
And we toast to "The Good Life"
After the clings we all shout, Lets feast!
GIRAFFATACK
In treetops high up
Spot victims, raises up neck
~ Pow! Eats shoots, then leaves
MONKEY SHINES
Who is watching who?
Monkey makes a fool of you
~ First it pees, then poos
RATTJLE SNAKE
Beware Mister Snake
Poisonous tail, rattle and shake
~ Man, your life's at stake!
JUNGLE NEWS
Dozens are crying
Maimed creatures lay dying
~ Snarfed by a lion
The Wonder Mobile broke today
Of course it would happen
Why wouldn’t it
4 cylinders running on 3
Getting out to push probably much faster
Poor little Corolla
It had a hard life.
Neglected some love’n
It pees all over, grumbles when it starts
Brakes kind of funny, but the horn is loud
Might not stop on a dime
But you will hear me coming
Washed twice in 11 years
Driven around the block to go next door
Years of waking up in wonder
Will my car start today?
Am I catching the bus today?
It all caught up to me today
Maybe I will drive to the Ferrari lot
Trade it in, what can I get
Maybe I will humble myself
Fix the Wonder Mobile
Give it some love’n
And wash it a third time
=======
True story, my car really did break today.
=======
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