Nutcase Poems | Examples

Good Intentions From A Nostalgia Nutcase

'Marty King, this ain't my thing
You must be suffering as if your life is buffering' 
I reply 'If I was roughin', then I'll take Me a Bufferin'
Eat me some stuffin' and a banana nut muffin
Make me some cheese grits
Then I'll munch on some Ritz
Bump some song that were not hits
The that give me Lovely Fits
The feeling makes me feel all snug
Like a Lavendar Scented Hug
My favorite menus dwell in hidden venues
It's the stuff I'll be ForEver Into
And Will AllWays be diggin' views
For The Search Continues......

Nutcase

Why do I get lumbered with a nutcase on the bus?
I’m craving peace and quiet, so I won’t make a fuss.

But I don’t want to hear about his toenail collection,
or that he must take Viagra to maintain his ********!

Oh crikey, he doesn’t need it - he’s ‘rising’ in his seat,
and making lewd suggestions I’d better not repeat!

I gather up my shopping and make a false excuse,
I’d forgotten to get cat food for my pussy Bruce.

So I make a hasty exit, although it’s not my stop,
I’m in dire need of Valium from the chemist shop!

Next time I travel on the bus, I’ll feign I’m fast asleep,
and pray I’m not joined by any foul mouthed creep!

Quarantine Quazy

I staged a race
Came in number one
Cuz I was the only
One to run

I have never made a mistake.
Except for that one time
When I thought I had made a mistake
But I was mistaken.

Is it the virus
Or is it the flu
I’m trapped in the house
Making horrible noises
And I’m told by the “experts”
Those are my choices

I’m wearing gloves, mittens and masks
Which makes every chore so much more of a task
So far I’m succeeding with a spray and a spritz
Just hope I don’t wind up with a case of the s**ts

I’ve taped alcohol swabs
To the tips of my fingers
So that after texting
Nothing else lingers

And just when I thought
I could bear no more
Some nutcase just painted
A big C on my door


John G. Lawless
©5/17/2022

I Am a Psychopath

I am a psychopath
a derange
a fruitcake

she looked at me as if I am looney tunes, a
nutter, madwoman, maniac, nutcase, nut. 
I stuck out my tongue, causing her to flee

the man in the elevator asked me
where would she go? 
We three have been stuck in here for hours

Light of Day

Pills and potions,
Creams and lotions
Eye drops and leg brace.

Specs for reading,
Hair receding,
Wrinkles on my face.

And my body,
All looks shoddy,
"Things" falling out of place.

Mixed up thinking,
I am shrinking,
I am a nutcase.

Bones are groaning,
I'm still moaning,
And I have lost my taste.

Veins and pimples,
I've lost my dimples,
No use to the Human Race.

I'm no longer needed,
Others preceded,
Who are young and bright.

Please don't worry,
I need to hurry,
AT LAST, I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT

Conspiracy Theories

Suppose the barrage of apocalyptic theories is true
While time is forevermore drawing to its climactic end
What? my friend, … just what are you going to do? 

Will you find some nutcase group with which to blend?
Spending the rest of your days in anguish and fright
While time is forevermore drawing to a climactic end?

Is it possibly true you are letting yourself lose sight--
Believing these conspiracy theories with no authentication,
Spending the rest of your days in anguish and fright?

Without regard for the danger they cause our nation
Creating fear, desperation, and panic throughout the land,
Believing these conspiracy theories with no authentication.

The greatest fears are fomented by lies gotten out of hand
Widely spread through an irresponsible social media
Creating fear, desperation, and panic throughout the land.

Better to study the ancient documents, the encyclopedia,
Suppose the barrage of apocalyptic theories is true
Widely spread through an irresponsible social media,
What, my friend? … just what are you going to do?

Letter To a Dear Friend

A Letter to a Dear Friend ,

I often think of you and hope you are feeling well today .

It is strange times for us all and we will, as always, ride the wave , we will learn and hopefully in time , peace will take its rightful place ..

I Thought I’d send some Irish Luck 
to brighten up your space , 
Thanks for being my neighbour , you always put a smile upon my face x

When this pandemic lifts , we can have a cuppa round at my place 

Lots of 

Daisy Reilly ( a certified nutcase )

Guy In the Sky

In quest for approval 
they look to the sky 
It’s totally unusual 
but they see a guy 

And though he not there
they devote in prayer
saying he cares 
up high but where?

They tell of his wishes
have Popes and Bishops 
explain what he dishes 
obnoxious bigots

Can’t call them a nutcase
for it is offensive 
as they gaze up to space 
with love demented

What Annoys Me

What annoys me ?

Absolutely 

EVERYTHING

Where should I start 

Fly's Why??

My Bad Luck
Especially on the Golf Course 
And playing the Lottery 
How is it possible to never get a number
Surely that is harder to get none
Liars 
Politicians 
Traffic
The Media
But most of All
Electrical power cable's 
Why can you not cut the Grass
Or Vacuum the house
Without tripping over the bloody cable
Aaaaaaah
Why does God hate me so much
Like I said 
Everything 
But then again I am an insane nutcase
With No Patience
Whatsoever 
And boy does that Annoy Me

Airhead Dreamer

CRAZY                                                                                                                      total
NUTCASE                      what
were                                                                                      you         THINKING
do                   you
THINK                                                at                            ALL?
airhead                                              DREAMER
GET                 YOUR                ACT
together, tell me are you
effing under the
WEATHER?
retard!
|||
|
|
Words hurt
They do
If I am nice
Will you be too?
Words kill
They do
If i am gentle
Can you please be too?

***

February 12, 2017
Poem by Darren White

Whatever

You can call me mad
Or call me bad,
You can even call me sad or whatever.

You can think me a nutcase,
Or a hard case,
Even a basket case or whatever.
I will only shrug my shoulders and say whatever,
No matter what the weather.

But should you err in even thinking of me as a charity case,
Well that would be a bird of a different feather,
And would call for a change in the weather.
With my best  advice for you to change tack  
And reset your course for a safer climate.

Birthday Cake

In front of your door
I paced,
Stooped down and retied
My shoelace,
13- the number
That was glazed,
Rung your doorbell since your keys
Had been replaced.

Once the door opens
In a haste,
And you'll stare at it
In amaze,
With a motive of
A nutcase,
I'll smash a birthday cake
Right in your face.

Ride To a Nuthouse

Now I am sitting alone in this
Funny wagon with my boom box
and minding my own business
along with a bunch of numskulls
who thinks I am a nutcase like them—
What a drag! And they think we are
all going to a Funny Farm where
they take those who go bananas!

But I know better because
I am good and dandy--
One hell of a cockscomb dude!
All I am doing is 
bamboozling them for now,
Behaving as if I am one of them—
These dolts, dim-witted blockheads!

But, YOU, who’s reading this,
can vouch for me, won’t ya?
Why? Because you are as cool as I am,
It takes one to know one!

You catching my drift, ain’t ya?


~07/16/15
~"Colloquialism" contest by Laura Leiser

Numerosity Nutcase In Notable Nothingness

cold as ice with the heater on
the aspirin causes me to bruise
like murky water mirages on a ceiling of used stars, 
i become lost in thought as the scent of you makes me float on air
i believe that i am immersed in the confetti convention of my makeshift reemergence
icicles form on the tiny tips of my mustache
every breath that i take burns from the consumption of your irresistible image
one false stroke southbound and it is suddenly summertime
the dunes where many memories were made has dissolved into a sandstorm diary of misty remains
every current upcoming morning stings like disposable razors of surefire frigidity
my phrase called 'talk' are run-on simple sentence jumping over rusted hurdles of shame and regret
hot as hellfire with the window fan on
the pradaxa causes my blood to be just thin enough....to cut the heater on again

The Fruitcake

He was nuttier than a fruitcake, 
He ate dry fruits, and candied fruits.
Some thought he was a screwball.
But from the likes of things.
He was very normal.
At least, I thought he was.

After a day on the fishing boat.
We'd finally catch a fish or two.
Nothing new, just a fish or two.
A crackpot, a crank, a nutcase, they said.
But him and his beautiful wife, they wed.

They were married, on April fools day.
The first of April, and man did it rain.
It came down.The thunder, and the lightning.
Man, it was frightening.
The thunder, and the lightning.

But the fruitcake absorbed it all.
He never gave in, and he never gave up.
Just a fruitcake.Out on the lake.
Fishing pole in hand.I thought it was grand.

Nothing like the cake.Mom gave at Christmas time.
Just a fruitcake.The fruitcake.

Fruitcake-Poem By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 2004,2014..
ALL rights reserved..

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