I wonder how addled your brain has to be
to want to suffer the slinging insults of buffoonery
Tv news showing how cartoonery
reality has become
Each reporter is up to tomfoolery as they
dig to the bottom to find something newsworthy
like a skeleton hanging in the closet of your nursery
Or a pirate lover with scurvy
What a pervy
They will dig and dig until they find your sin
If you didn’t do it they will make it up
Like, way back when he was only ten,
his great grandfather once stole a watermelon from Farmer Ben.
His dad found out and made him
work it off in chores
made him promise not to do it again
but that won’t make the evening
news because sensationalism is the only values
that matter to us all.
her fallacious reasoning caught me by surprise
he’s a swindler, a crook, can’t you see with your eyes?
He never paid the little guys, declaring bankruptcy.
He’s a good businessman, she argues, quite wrongly.
The man is a scoundrel, a felon, maybe Antichrist and worst.
I cannot believe she would vote for this horrible man, putting him first.
A news station that is not newsworthy has brainwashed her.
There is no other way she could vote for this diabolical cur.
Sing a ballad of the sea,
Men ponder at whales' brains,
"What do you believe?"
Whale watching is a hobby,
Grey nomads splash their cash,
Digital selfies on charter boats,
Until appears Little Miss Moby,
Under boats she breathes,
Smashed the lot, into the sea,
Whale selfies gave her the blip,
"Bug off, men!" she thinks,
Ahab's ghost got drowned again,
Maybe there are eidetic memories,
Quite newsworthy, song of the sea!
So what I kept some stuff
A few small keepsakes, merely fluff
They make such noise, so much dumb fuss
Their indignation careening like a bus.
Now they think I'll spill the beans
Use my powers by any means
I can clearly hear their screams
Trying to figure out my schemes.
All hot air like a balloon
Their pouting makes me want to swoon
The media bellows noon to noon
More newsworthy than the landing on the moon.
But oh what fun when dear old Joe
Was caught with files of which he didn't know
Or so he claimed to hear the crow
Of countless minders rushing to and fro.
And now comes Pence my dear old friend
Whose pious indignation never seems to bend
So let me just this little message send
He who laughs first laughs loudest in the end.
Please stand by for this important announcement
Of news you’ll most assuredly not want to miss
A newsworthy, earth-shaking pronouncement
More startling than your first unexpected kiss.
Your favorite television program is interrupted
Just when you’re about to watch Final Jeopardy,
You’d think the U.S. government was bankrupted
By the sound of the announcer’s anxious perfidy.
Instead, there’s a tennis player who’s deported
From Australia, his name you never heard before
Seems his lack of a vaccine he too openly sported
Forever, hereafter, he’ll never again be obscure.
All you wanted to know was who won Jeopardy
You had waited all day long for today’s show,
For you faithfully watch your program daily
To see the champion trivia winner’s earnings grow.
written January 18, 2022
There.
There is beauty in the world if you look for it
There are times in this world when all is well
There are times when the news cannot frighten
There are people who decide to love and not kill
There are stories that you’ll never read about
Because the endings turn out fine and swell
There are people who help those in hurt and pain
There are times when the whole world is at peace
There are mornings the sun is so radiant, bright
There are days when the sea is gentle and serene
There are times when the world is painless and free
There is good news but it’s never ever newsworthy
The horrors are what sells the newspaper and T.V
The scares put to you every day so dramatically
The killings, maiming and murder, fill the media with glee
There’s good everywhere, but we’re not allowed to see.
David cox 14/08/21
The Munro and Corbett mountain peaks contest
Current events dictates social distancing
Squire Cavendish was expecting some protest
Twenty four paired challengers were competing
Marshalls prepared alerting the contestants
(Isolation bubbles strictly adhered to)
Reiterating the rules and enforcements
Alarmingly, a small protest did ensue
Squire’s bombastic tone and presence did inflame
As an incendiary device would exploded
Worldwide interest in the media game
Above newsworthy helicopters hovered
Now eagerly awaiting developments
Protesters in numbers increasingly spread
Mainly due to many safety infringements
Disappointed challengers away were led
9/28/20
Five words Mountain. Squire. Current. Events. Exploded.
.................................THE NEWINGTON PRESS.........................................
VOLUME VVII NEWSWORTHY EDITION
$1.85 .......... STREET EDITION
June 10, 2001
by Gaffa Dame
reporting from the
Florence Palace Picture Show
the concession stand
venue show features many
variables in modern
culinary arts. styles
and cuisines from
many different cultures,
from all parts of the world.
difficult taste made simple,
by chefs who know
what they are doing.
Worlds combined together
to create and recreate that
" good ole fashion flair using
modern techniques and styles.
We serve turkey pochinni, algone' and
beef buise' and some pork and fish Brouise'
and some recipes that will make you
crawl and beg the chef for the recipe!!
get off your knees and dine type dishes!
Catfish I love is on a plate
with tartar sauce, french fries, and slaw;
but I despise the type that trolls
online, those pervs who break the law
and tell some trusting kid, “I’m twelve,
like YOU! I live right by the park
near you. Let’s meet there by the bridge.
You’ll be back home before it’s dark.
Don’t tell your mom! If she’s like mine,
she’ll tell you NO. Let’s just sneak out.”
She says, “I’ll go slip out the back.
We’ll have a lot of fun—no doubt!”
The sicko rushed right to the bridge.
The “kid” he met was twenty-five,
an undercover cop with cuffs
and back-up. “Channel 14 LIVE”
rushed in on this newsworthy scene.
A big catfish was caught that day.
Because such wickedness abounds,
not all such stories end this way.
May 15, 2018, entered in Catie Lindsey's Catfish Poetry Contest
One day.
One day I was a soldier.
One day I was a policeman.
One day I was a fireman.
One day I was a medic.
One day I was a husband.
One day I was a son.
One day I was a father.
One day.
One day I was killed on duty.
Killed by a terrorist.
Killed by a bank robber.
Killed by an arsonist.
Killed by drunk driver.
One day someone will be shocked
One day it will be newsworthy.
One day people may weep.
One day someone will do something
One day.
© Dave Timperley April 2015
Of Daughters and Aborted Liberties…
My ravished womb drips
precious blood of incestuous rape;
the ghosts of my daughters scream
from shared graves
marked with vaginal blood
shed by sons drunk
on the wine of intoxicating power.
Mislead adolescent warriors
fan holocaust embers
scorching time tested hopes
gone to ashes
as death winds strike chimes
of ebony genocide;
and the cradle and the grave
stand juxtaposed to each other.
My desperate screams
reverberate off once listening ears
and ricochet into the void silence
of a newsworthy footnote:
caught in the cobwebs of history
my aborted blood of liberty flows
like the meandering Nile.
GREEDY AGENTS,
FORECLOSERS ON THE RISE.
BITTER DISAGREEMENTS,
BEWARE OF SENSELESS DEMISE.
TOTAL PRIVACY INVASION,
INSTANT MESSAGE TEXTIN'.
REFUGEE ALIENATION,
BIG-BROTHER'S WATCHING.
GROWING CHILD BIRTH DEFECT,
THE WORLD'S IN QUAGMIRE.
GLOBAL GREENHOUSE-EFFECT,
RAGING FOREST FIRE.
RECORD-BREAKIN' HEAT WAVES,
THE OZONE-LAYER'S CRACKING.
TRAFFIC OF HUMAN SLAVES,
FREEMAN'S JUST WATCHING?
FREE-ENTERPRISE ROBBIN' FOLKS BLIND,
WHO'S THE REAL HUSTLER?
SO-CALLED NEWSWORTHY GUIDE,
MINDS FLOATIN' IN ETHER.
GREEN-EYED GUERRILLAS,
ALL-OUT PLAYIN' FOR KEEPS.
VAIN INDULGENCE IN SPAS;
USURY PILING IN HEAPS.
MISSIONS BEING COMPROMISED,
BY ARTIFICIAL INTELIGENCE.
GOD-SEEKERS ATTACKED BY SURPRISE,
MAYBE DOOMSDAY HAS COMMENCED.
Car
Leaping
Toyota
In big trouble
Fix
Listen to all of them laughing
As I tell my joke
Or make fun of newsworthy
At politicians, I’d poke
I stand in front of them
Mic, there in hand
Tickling their funny bones
They’re at my command
Sometimes I’m racy
Really raunchy I’d say
If the audience applauds
It’s then a good day
Sometimes I insult
Many people I abuse
That’s not the real me
A very clever ruse
In truth, I get paid
To stand here and speak
With hopes they’ll all laugh
And my jokes, they don’t reek
Y'all c'mon down
any ole' time,
we'll be awaitin'
with watermelon wine.
Y'all are welcome
to come define
our red-neckedness
among the graceful pine.
We'll say, "Hey Y'all,"
and be inclined
by our southern-ness
to rip it up, divine.
So bring it on,
you raw moonshine,
let yourself be red
in the southern design.
There's nothin' like
fresh off the vine
for a sweeter night,
so poised and unrefined.
Y'all c'mon down,
form a headline,
make newsworthy noise,
along the coastal line.
We're awaitin'
the joyous sign
you ain't forgotten
our infamous dateline.
We are still here,
a fresh resign
of America's
disheartened central spine.
Y'all c'mon down
any ole' time,
we'll be awaitin'
with watermelon wine.
Y'all are welcome
to come define
our red-neckedness
among the graceful pine.
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