Long Lewd Poems

Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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“ANTE BELLUM”


BEIGEBest served where it can’t be seen
On Stirling Silver platters
With redruM narcotics
Delivered by sharp Blood-Red
Well-mannered talons
Strutting in sleek wet rolling tight-skirted
Long French Silk Stockinged legs all the way down to 
Lethal Six Inch stilettos...

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Unquotable quotes: Tale-Carriers, Gossip-Mongers, Courrier-Pigeon Caretakers, Smoke-Signal Puffers and Tom-Tom Thumpers – XXVI

Could there be such things as political shenanigans or inter-continental warfares, even catastrophes, natural disasters, tsunamis, irruptions, conflagrations, inundations, landslides, typhoons, tornadoes, hurricanes,...

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Oh Hanna. 

The sinking of the USS Stefan wood. 

Oh Hanna 
I want to take you to Montana. 
We can camp out by the springs we will go and see the way oil is founding...

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			I

The Holy Bible said seven kingdoms would arise,
then like windblown grains of sand, fall to the dust
Six kingdoms have come and gone, blinked their eyes
and we’re now, in these last days, living on the cusp

But...

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I wait with bated breath for... C. Cure T. Clarence

The following crafted 
approximately midway 
into the administration 
of forty fifth president,
whose crass, gutsy, lewd,
repulsive yawping finds
him squarely poised to
nab the nomination as
Republican front runner
come the...

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Ask your friend, neighbour or even a stranger newly-met
Have they ever been damaged by a ‘trust’ ….now turned ‘regret’?
Most men, if not all, have fashioned their character on personal experience
Yet these damned hypocrites are themselves...

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And after had passed the two enraged by
On which I had before pointed my sight,
I turned to others evil-born my eye.

I saw one, who the form of lute have might,
If he the groin in full...

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Poet's Pre-Notes: A poem from my 8th week in a Stanford continuing education class offered on the internet, a study of free verse and structure. The poem writing technique is to write as unconsciously as...

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Wergle Flomp Good Humor 2023

The following constitutes a rather 
twisted as a pretzel SUBTITLE:

I dash with my jiggling boobs in an attempt to escape... 
being overrun by teddy bears and beanie babies
while carrying out heavy...

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It’s ten years later
I’ve finally hit paydirt
It’s the motherload

I didn’t strike gold
I struck a deal with myself
To help me grow old

Not act like a child
But first I had to grow up
And not act so wild

I’m...

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A Sexy Salacious Steam
                               ...

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V

Indeed, it is so far, far, far back where last I
Stood in sight of all her unnerving ambiguities...          
This overstated manner inborn of an innate
And intimidating...

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Write a limerick of your own about a Muppet. 
If you post it in a comment or in soup mail to me, 
and I find it appropriate, I'll add it on. ;-)


Sesame Street's Count von...

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I sleep no more and live in constant shame, 
living on the edge with only desolation to blame.
I exist just to suffer with remorse and regret, 
for all those childhood touches I shan’t forget. 

Blood...

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July first 2023 will celebrate...
our sixth anniversary at Highland Manor Apartments
	
Subtitled: The perspective of one festive folky fellow
friendliness ofttimes prompts me 
when crossing paths with another to say “hello,”
whose demeanor trends toward being mellow
courtesy about...

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i
I sleep no more and live in constant shame,
living on the edge with only desolation to blame-
I exist just to suffer with remorse and regret,
for all those childhood touches I shan’t forget.

Blood rushes through my...

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A sodden dreg with wooden leg is dancing for a dime,

to sacred psalms and other balms, all ticking with the time.

He’s 22, he’s almost through, he’s melted in his prime,

his bane is firm, the canker...

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My Lords an adjournment is 
Called for...
All my retire;
But holding foremost in your
Thoughts,
I beseech ye,
Thee impudent countenance of
This most ardent denier.
Therefore heed me,
I caution all ye present,
Thou shall not disband;
Moreover, to reassemble at any
Sudden instance...

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We cannot live without words
Words express who we are
Words convey how we feel
Words convey what we want
We cannot live without words
Words, Words, Words
Words can be fun
Words can be flirtatious
Words can be frivolous
Words can be heavy
Words...

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IF EVER I HAD A COUNTRY : LXXVI

IF ever I had a Country with or without any " Wood " in the aching aping Film Industry
And if ever (you know the refrain by now) I...

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Oh, if only ...

If only monsters ...
LOOKED like monsters.
If they lurked ONLY in the dark,
Glowing red eyes and chiseled teeth ...
Claws and horns and forked tails,

         ...

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Animal Poems II

These are poems about animals, limericks and other forms of doggerel.



Ballade of the Bicameral Camel
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a camel who loved to hump.
Please get your lewd minds out of their...

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curt hissy Matthew Scott Harris
who wishes ewe well
to make $cents of the following
mumbo jumbo lettered gumbo.

Hip puck crease see
(ad hoc) key hide dee claim
haint how my noggin 
comports itself to take aim,
cuz ear lee aire...

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If I am Syrian, what of it?
Stranger, we all dwell in one world, not its portals.
The same original Chaos gave birth to all mortals.
—Meleager translation by Michael R. Burch

Love, how can I call on you;
does...

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