The Flash Mob Application

I'd like to apply for a permit for a protest march on the Washington Mall. Lovely idea. But, we're only issuing Mall permits for Song and Dance Events. I think this might be a violation of my Rights to Free Speech. I see it more as a patriotic protection of your health care rights for Free Song and Dance Improvement instead. So we can sing ballads to Adolf Hitler and Royal Elitist Head MucketyMucks of the Only White Lives MightMatter Makes RightWing KKK, we just can't say them. That's right. And you get extra points for at least four-part harmony and full orchestration, and professional choreography, and community participation regardless of age, gender, race, religion, etc. Well, that feels a little prejudiced and elitist. How so? What if you can't afford a choreographer, much less an entire orchestra. Then your budget narrative will note your capacity to sing and dance is contingent on receiving sufficient community volunteers for your harmonic protest Event. This Event begins to resound with echoes of a Happening. Only if you are a TransMillennial. No, I'm a RightWing reaction against anything Trans, or Poly or Multi. Sorry, sir. TransMillennials are those born prior to 2000 and who remain planning to die in this current PostMillennial Event. I'm merely saying you appear to be older than 21, which you would need to be to apply to sponsor a Mall Song and Dance Event. Well, is there an application fee? No. There is, however, a permit fee, should your application ever have a chance of being successful. But I have to tell you, these Washington Mall slots are very competitive, especially if you want something more than an hour, and not in the middle of the night. Then your only real competition are the other vampire and costume clubs and the witches covens, depending on the lunar cycle. I mean, you can forget about any FullMoon or NewMoon or Equinox within the next decade. Wow! I was just trying to put together a nice old fashioned good ol' boys AltRight armed to the teeth militia march while chanting a few really offensive fascist slogans. Well, funny thing, it was just that kind of protest march that led all these churches and synagogues and Eastern temples and even the StoryTellers group from the mosques sponsoring these FlashMob Events. When I was checking out the Mall to see where to put the stage, suddenly all these people I thought were tourists and just pedestrians and all the people in the cars and buses going by, and the frisbee players, and even some of the dogs, all froze in place for a moment, then began dancing, then singing that annoying We Shall Overcome gospel anthem, like I had just walked onto a movie set. Although no lights and big cameras. Yes. Today's Event received extra points for community participation. The District of Columbia FlashMob Combined Gospel Choir joined up with the local street dancers and choreographers, and the drummers, of various cultural backgrounds, and usually books the Mall on weekends for full two day events. Most of the time they practice harmonies and choreography, and encourage people gathering to watch to join in, whether they can stay until the final run through of the day, or not, when cameras are digitally ubiquitous. In fact, often cell phones are part of the dance, for lights and multiple viewing perspectives on social media sites. Then they do a final run through about four or five PM, then everybody goes home or maybe they'll have a picnic if the band or orchestra or drummers can stay into the evening. They might even have an open stage night for singers and dancers and those Creation StoryTellers from the mosques. I'm having trouble seeing our RightWing message in this Song and Dance frame. There are less competitive venues but most state capitols are seeing this same cooperative community response to these all day multicultural NonFlash Mobbing Events. It's sort of like America's Got Talent went RealTime coast to coast in a capitol, or even a County Seat, near you. Well, I need a permit for a counter-protest. You will need to include your song and dance plan and budget with your application, and your plan has to be coordinated with any group already issued a permit for the Mall on the day and time you propose to counter. Would that look like some kind of large-set talent contest? It could. But, when the District Multicultural Choir and Drummers and Street Performers and Orchestra respond to your challenge, just know they usually turn out somewhere up toward two million singers and dancers, and it would be more if we had the space and toilets. Last year they accepted a challenge from a national supremacist group ironically named the RightWing Goliaths. That was a big national media Song and Dance Event in which the Goliaths moved and sounded... well... not very cooperative seemed to be the national patriotic consensus, while the District MultiCultural Singers and Dancers were totally awesome! In fact, by the end of the Goliath's first song, the MultiCulturals were adding in their four-part LaLaLa's and OoohOoohOooh's, then the African Drummers joined in so the RightWing message was out-scaled into an awkward hiccuping sound very much in the background, and I'm being generous. Anyway, application forms are on-line. You'll find our cooperative community inclusion guidelines, budget requirements, and forms you can use to invite community volunteers to join in. Family friendly plans also receive extra points so you might want to leave your firearms and reckless unloving drivers at home. This still feels like a violation of my Right to be a White Supremacist or even just a somewhat paranoid Hater and shout about my embarrassingly personal issues in public. As long as you can sing and dance your message you are welcome to apply for a Permit. I'm merely letting you know we have far more healthy and gifted and grace-filled applications than capital-invested space and time already at hand.