Long Blender Poems

Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Doggerel II: Doggerel about Doggerel, or, More Nonsense Verse

The Board
by Michael R. Burch

Accessible rhyme is never good.
The penalty is understood:
soft titters from dark board rooms where
the businessmen paste on their hair
and, Walter Mitties, woo the...

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Self destructive wickedness arrested, convicted, and gaoled...

with kidnapping little boy 
ordered to suffer
life sentence without parole.

The deadly scourge of  
one obsessive/compulsive disorder
nearly left me starving to death.

Anorexia nervosa absent bulimia 
nadir of onset 
diagnoses...

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Now Regan and Megan were down on their luck
    and faced with little or no choice.
So with a quiet trepidation... a deal was struck
    and from now all would...

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At that moment an explosion of mud filled the air
    as their tension was now largely increased.
They tried to gather their wits but all took to stare
    as for...

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The Company was set and all were prepared
    for a journey that was true cause for alarm.
But their spirits were high and as much as they dared
    still hoped...

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'A magical lock?' Groaned Graygall in a voice of defeat.
    'We are doomed before even we are set to advance.
To defeat Trolls would be an almost impossible feat
    but...

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Mine psyche riddled with dybbuk
Thru emerging adulthood awareness awoke
within noggin of average baby boomer bloke
catastrophization toward risk taking I evoke
positive growth experiences throughout vast
number of orbitz around sun never kickstarted,
nor linkedin with potential livingsocial folk,
thus...

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Nightmare 8. To Lose the Gift of Feeling Heard

Is each person not poet when he spills his heart?
Has your verse lost its edge if it’s true no one listens,
Or does God mean that no one...

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With the Trolls passed out on the grass...the regrettable task
    now fell to the brave Talkalot.
He moved to the gate and taking a sip from his flask...
    he stared...

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Mine psyche riddled with dybbuk

Thru emerging adulthood awareness awoke
within noggin of average baby boomer bloke
catastrophization toward risk taking I evoke
positive growth experiences throughout vast
number of orbitz around sun never kickstarted,
nor linkedin with potential livingsocial folk,
thus...

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(after Edgar Allan Poe's "The Angel of the Odd")

It was a tidy day and I sat, replete, under vellux blankets.
Sadly, my tea was weak, the bottle of cinnamon whiskey
tantalizingly low, and my feet swelling above...

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Megan saw what had happened and motioned a reply
    to the others who turned for a look.
When ever so slowly the Troll King opened his eyes
    as the poor...

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Mine psyche riddled with dybbuk - haint no joke

Thru emerging adulthood awareness awoke
within noggin of average baby boomer bloke
catastrophization toward risk taking I evoke
positive growth experiences throughout vast
number of orbitz around sun never kickstarted
nor linkedin...

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Rise to the challenge of the new day and don’t let your spirit go astray
Rise to the challenge of a new day and always remember to pray
Start your day with positive words and force a...

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a balloon half-filled with helium 
hovers five inches or so below the ceiling of the cafeteria
a few feet away from the time clock &
on a table near the balloon,
a sympathy card bearing the signatures of...

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Inside the Dishwasher everyone rushed!
Clinks, clanks, rattles, 'Ouches' and ' Ohs'!
"Would you pa--lease, settle down!" said Deb--They hushed.
"Now we can hear...let's just see how this goes."

Curious, Peter, looked out through a chinc,
And watched Vie and...

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speak it as it was to be
something for a world of
people to love and admire.
delicious and special.
she wanted something that was flavored naturally.
we determined that a sweet fruity flavor would
be best. because she was cooking...

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A Magic Adventure of Peter The Pan/AKA Peta The Fwying Pan

Peter was a fine young pan with blue eyes
Like all the other pans his age, except,
Peter could not yet pronounce 'R's'--he tried...
And 'L's'...so hard he...

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itching legs & yahweh

the young boy had told his mother
he thought he was allergic to ivory soap,
in fact, he’d told her the night before---
but come sunday morning
all the care in the world couldn’t keep him
from...

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Timid guy is turning right
                              ...

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To be brutally honest it feels great to be employed
But it wears off quick and I start to feel annoyed
Manager abuses authority
Women work there as a majority
In fact it feels like a sorority
The cycles
The emotion
Cure...

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It was two days before Christmas
Joe feared for his life
He had clearly forgotten
A gift for his wife

He sat on his bar stool
An ache in his heart
As he pondered his route
To the nearest Wal-Mart

He waved to...

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SHE WANTED AN "ATTA BOUIS": SO WE WENT AND GOT HER ONE!

THE CHEF PREPARED,......................
7 SLICES OF PORCUITIO
SLICE FRESH FIGS
SWISS CHEESE
SEVEN DOLIPS OF GOAT CHEESE
2  WHITE ASPARAGUS
2 GREEN ASPARAGUS
SEVEN STRIPS OF ROASTED RED BELL PEPPER
ON...

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Boot it up baby cause the search is on top
We looking for filler and none of that slop
The stuff we call primo, Chivas and that sensie
The limo and jetplane, jewels and clemency
A forgiveness of feeling...

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