Funny Law Poems | Examples
These Funny Law poems are examples of Law poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Law Funny poems written by international poets.
Poetry, Plato says know it;
"Go," though, he says to the poet.
It's good to be good,
But be understood,
Best if you never do show it.
Gravity makes things go down,
to the ground like a funny clown.
Missing the trash can,
now on the floor plan.
Gravity will always be around.
My grandpa built a split rail fence.
He did the best he could.
He hand-dug every post hole,
Sweat and muscle, rough-hewn wood.
Didn’t compromise his standards,
He was sure to do it right.
He made it bull strong, horse high and hog tight.
The carnival just came to town,
Its gaudy midway, too.
Don’t favor taking chances,
But I’ll ring the bell for you.
Gonna swing that hefty mallet
And I’ll win the prize tonight.
I’m feeling bull strong, horse high and hog tight.
It’s funny how the solid things
Endure despite the years,
Through thunderstorms and blizzards,
Broken hearts and bitter tears.
But I promise if you let me,
I’ll be sure to do it right.
I’ll love you bull strong, horse high and hog tight.
Said mother-in-law: -" When my time to come,
My ashes scatter in this court in a burial rite."
Thinking, the son-in-law answered in fright: -
"But, if a wind drive you in house again, dear mum?"
MY BROTHER IN LAW
My brother-in-law
talks vibrant
fluent brilliant
right blended in flaw.
He has specific style to draw
rolling rumour
with pen of humour,
the pretty talker: my brother-in-law.
With taunting tooth and cunning claw
he will ridicule
making you funny fool,
the witty narrator: my brother-in -law.
His ironical blow with amusing paw
entertains folks.
Creating jokes,
he is mockery=master: my brother-in-law.
He is jubilant with joyful jaw
always carrying gossip basket
to deliver in family market,
the wonderful orator: my brother-in-law
06/14/16
Pretty Talker Poetry Contest
Honorable mention
Battle of honorable mentions sixth Place
Sponsor Richard lamoureux
'A Strand (1068)
Contest by Brian Strand
I have a monster-in-law to be
She’s my boyfriend’s mommy
She forced her son to join the military
‘Til his gait was no longer like a lady
I’ve witnessed many times her monstrosity
She screams like having tantrums in a family
She brags my mom and aunt her dowry
She insists, she and her one only son like me
At home, she doesn’t like cat or puppy
She wants people to do all things perfectly
She criticizes her maid’s cleaning and laundry
As if, she’s chief of self-enforcing constabulary
She reminds me and her son to get marry
And wedding rite will be at ritzy hotel of their city
Whenever I suggest to have a simple reception or party
With her bulging eyes, she stares hard at me
I was quite scared and worry
When she said, we’ll stay with her til we’ve a baby
So, I talked to my Lieut. Lovadababee
To push through our plans in two years or three ;)
©2015Leonora Galinta
All Rights Reserved
Sept. 27, 2015 9.25pm
-this was not entered in the contest... late in few minutes;) my second try of monorhymes. some are fictions;)
I was inattentive in Science class one day
When the teacher at random looked my way
I didn't look up, I wouldn't dare
There's no escaping that intense glare.
Asked me to explain to the class
Newton's Law of Gravity and mass
My mind was a blank, heartbeats louder
For an answer, I started to flounder.
I stood before the class trembling with fear
"Gravity," I said..., and then oh dear!!!
I fell off the stage on to the floor
How the class with laughter did roar.
The children tittered in great amusement
They didn't know my sad predicament
The teacher said, "You've demonstrated gravity"
"Although you did it with much levity".
At length, I returned to my seat
With much applause did they greet
Now I look back upon this and ponder
I decide to listen and not let my mind wander.
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS POISONING ME!
I think my mother-in-law is poisoning me.
The electric range is smelling strange,
She tests the smoke detector by cooking everyday....
Now the entire kitchen is acting deranged.
Semolina at 3:30,
Mercury hits 120 degrees!
Nausea and stomach cramps are rising in me,
Red-sauced tripe is afflicting me.
Outside it's now Celsius 43 degrees.
Now Bulimia is what I see,
I have to stay for tea,
Yes, my mother-in-law is poisoning me,
There's much to said for ...
D.I.V.O.R.C.E!!!!!
The Mother-in-Law at the Door
By Elton Camp
The doorbell’s ring brings Sue to the door
A quick peek shows one she’s seen before
It is her mother-in-law standing out there
Come without calling, how does she dare
This isn’t the first time she’s pulled that trick
Having her visit today makes Sue feel sick
It is in her ragged bathrobe that she’s dressed
From end-to-end, the house is quite messed
While Mother Roberts is wearing a new suit
Even at her age, she looks very prim and cute
Her white gloves show what Sue does fear
To make an inspection is why she is here
She can already almost hear her sneer
“My son is in a dilemma, I greatly fear.”
“As a child, he liked things neat and clean.
My dear, I hope you understand what I mean.”
“When I think of the girls he might have wed,
It causes an ache right in the front of my head.”
Sue quietly slipped into the closet to hide
And left Mother Roberts standing outside
Ignorance of the Law is No Excuse
By Elton Camp
Weird laws are on the books in every state
Some abuse they at one time tried to regulate
For violations we aren’t likely to be arrested
But in the courts, very few have been tested
Alabama won’t allow a mustache that is fake
If in church any irreverent laugh it should make
Alaska says there’s to be no whispering in an ear
If with a moose hunt it should somehow interfere
If in Arkansas you fail to pronounce the name right
t is a crime and theoretically can get you in a tight
In Florida, if you tie an elephant to a parking meter
The laws requires that just as a car you must feed ‘er
In Georgia, to eliminate the chance of police raids
To change mannequin clothes, you close the shades
Since in Hawaii, you may well need to be able to float
Residents can be accessed a fine for not owning a boat
In Kentucky, offensive body odor you need not fear
Every citizen is required to take a shower once a year
In Massachusetts, the law may not let you go very far
If you are carrying a gorilla in the backseat of your car
I'm just a typical working bloke
Who went to court for taking a toke
My brief, my attorney
And my financial journey
I lost now I'm totally broke
With only one look it ruptured my spleen
The ugliest creature I've ever seen
You'd know if you ever saw
It's called my mother-in-law
And smells like the gas produced from a bean
I admit it, I'm allergic to my mother-in-law
She gives me hives and makes me sneeze
I've even been known to cough alot
And, sometimes, I might even wheeze
I mean it, that woman drives me crazy
My face distorts and I twitch
Even the smell of her stinky perfume
Will just always make me itch
Even if she calls me on the telephone
Her voice just drives me insane
Try to imagine a "moose on crack"
Then you'll understand my pain
That woman even thinks she's Hitler
She even has that silly mustache
And anytime I see her coming
Out the door I go, in a flash
Okay, I know you think I exaggerate
But I'm telling you, these are the facts
The woman is truly out to get me
I can tell by the way that she acts
Now you probably think this is funny
But remember the words that I've said
She'll be the only one laughing
When they find her son-in-law dead
Well I think I finally figured it out
The answer I've wanted to know
What makes her mother act like that
And her five o'clock shadow grow
You see, I have always wondered
Why she takes her bath in the yard
The bird bath is her bathtub
While my wife is standing guard
She drinks her meals on a bench outside
From a plain brown paper bag
Her clothes are always tattered and torn
And she looks like a crazy old hag
She always wears those army boots
And her car is a shopping cart
She talks of all the places she's been
And she calls Graffiti, art
Did I mention she plays harmonica?
Like that Boxcar Willie guy
She plays, "Nobody knows the troubles"
As a tear leaks from her eye
And when she goes on her vacations
She'll never take a plane
She says she's just more comfortable
In the boxcar of a train
So, I finally know all the answers
And I'll share them with you all
I want you to know that my wife's mom
Is the Hobo mother-in-law
I wouldn't mind sharin'
With Wilda H. Perrin
A fried chicken section
She burnt to perfection
White beans from the navy
Gummy rice with gravy
Green beans smothered down
Until they turn brown
Fussin' and complainin'
"I love you", she's sayin'
By moanin' and bitchin'
And cleaning the kitchen...
*She usually forgot to check the chicken and sometimes smoked up the whole house...If anyone DARED to come help, she would retort, "Who's the cook here
anyway? Open the damn door!" Also, NOBODY complained when it was time to eat!