Latrine Poems | Examples

Premium Member Hit and Outrun

Trailhead latrine,  
cracked mirror—  
three of me grinning wrong.  
A soap shaver's chewed itself down, 
there's a beetle on its back in the basin.
I clean my hands as best I can,  
wipe them on my pants,  
get out,  
back into wilderness,
where I don't have to face them.

Wokery, no just jiggery pokery

Febrile Fog obfuscates palimpsest varnished promises..

Naysayers hoodwinked... deluded players peeling layers..denuded..

Deafening din of our chagrin...

Espoused by rabbles roused by mandarins’ sins..

Tarnished...pampered pilferers pickpocketing public purses...

Deploring the warring cacophony of citizens curses.. 

Ignoring the boring nagging nadir of nurses...

Corporate castles built without stilts on hourglass sands..

Placards versus lanyards.. 

Culprits preach parsimony from privileged pulpits..

Civic critics.. protests...pyrrhric..?

No tut tuts..relax…gluts of tax cuts for property sluts..

Licentious larcenists..lust for boom then bust..

Lavishly lacing our lives with lies..

Yet the more we holler...hanker..

Murky truths get darker...muckier.. starker..danker..

Avaricious arsonists torching our cries of why...

Leave us lolloping in a regret & forget.. leaking latrine...

Reeking of what could & should have been..


Premium Member Making a Case for Yellow

I was never fond of the word or the color
it reminded me of ceiling stains in cheap hotels
infinite shades of latrine piss
bony cigarette fingertips 
grandpa's stage 4 jaundice 
the forever scar of cowardice...

I'm contemplating painting the kitchen 
in this forbidden color.
I'll have to pray on it awhile 
...it's a critical decision
maybe the most important of my existence.

The evolution of my inbred forgiveness and 
hobbled optimism heavily depends upon it.

Premium Member The Chairs of Van Gogh

A long life can be a blessing tinged in blue
you may end up in a garish room
a narrow bed -a communal latrine
at the end of a one-candle hallway.
With very few friends left, if any
loves scattered about like gold flake in drought.
If they lived next door, they'd rarely visit anyhow...
The living do not fancy the foothills of death.

Every day the macabre weatherman bleats:
mind overcast with a 90% chance of sleet.
Once a week an angel may be your friend...
for a handsome fee.
 
Live long enough, inhale the bluing tomorrow
propped up in the straw chair of Van Gogh.

Premium Member Jack's Favorite Cuisine

  
   Peanut butter, Jack’s favorite cuisine
   ‘Til he ate a sandwich that turned him green
      Jack overlooked one thing
      That gave his sandwich ‘zing’
   Pea was spelled ‘Pee’ ~ smelled like a latrine


Premium Member Bad Trip

   Every day, same routine
      out of bed, in the latrine
   Cup'a'joe, out the door I go
      Work's a bad trip, but I owe

   Phony-smile time: 'How was your weekend'
      ('Still datin' that tired old girlfriend')
   Jumpin' through hoops way too small
      insufferable boss, cocky know-it-all

   Liberty bell rings at half-past-five
      the hour the dead come alive
   Off to the bar for a tall cold one
      hand on the trigger ~ all done

Premium Member Yesterday

Yesterday my drain was clogged
Woe was me my brain was fogged
No toilet, sink or washing machine
Whole house smelled like a latrine
But a bottle of black did the trick
24 hours the drain was slick
The sink went down the washer works
The smell remains rotten eggs it lurks

Premium Member The Evolution of the Toilet

It wasn't all that long ago when a hole in the ground was where people would go.
Many grew sick from lack of hygiene so some one invented the pit latrine.
This greatly prevented the spread of disease. People squatted over a slab
and bent at the knees.
The first flushable was used by British royalty, a toilet that the commoner
would never see.
Chamber pots and out houses were used by many.
They composted the waste and saved a lot of pennies.
Years later dry toilets were used in most homes.
They had a wooden seat as their throne.
Some time during the twentieth century flushable toilets were
in every home you would see.
Tout allure and hello to a cleaner way.
A clever French man invented the bidet.
Is this too much information? Don't go yet.
The end of my evolution of the toilet.

Religious Wounds

Don't dare joke with their doctrine
Nor raise it in a latrine
Like had tried Goofing Kathrine 
Now melted like margarine!
Their Doctrine not in  bathrooms:
Bathtubs never living rooms;
Their camera can scenes zoom,
As one body choose your doom!
One they won't mind battering
And one's tressure scattering;
No rowing of one's bought boat
No testing of one's new coat...

You they shall tell with cleared throat
" Your body shall in pond float!"
Its Malice that won't Vanish;
Evil thoughts they won't banish.

Premium Member Waves Of Azure

Once, rolling waves of azure washed ashore
while cerulean curls colored the sky;
subservient to time and nothing more.

The Sea whips up a zillion drops of rain,
as a melody of showers and storms;
a dominatrix of pleasure and pain.

From indigo shades to aquamarine,
She is the heart and lungs of our planet
and yet, we've turned Her into a latrine.

Sullied by centuries of pollution;
Her shores are filthy, no longer pristine;
for we lack any long-term solution.

A once-thriving, living Sea is dying,
placing the whole world in grievous danger,
and you can almost hear Nature crying.

About Uncompleted Building

I know about uncompleted building
A Terrible lot it could start wielding:
Perhaps, not in Far-Away Siberia
But, quote me, here in Lord God’s Nigeria!

A Receiving Camp for Smokers of Weed,
The Thickest Spirals in times of vile Need;
All The Depraved in Neighborhoods shielding, 
Cries of torture as victims are pleading …

Get ready for the Truest Euphoria,
People down with The Falsest Malaria;
A Scenario for The Angering Deeds:
How dare you there recite The Apostles’ Creed?

Also, a venue for Helpful Latrine,
Unless Keep-Off Signals you meet Urine.

Premium Member The Volunteer

The Volunteer
                  by Bob Moore (c) 2019

A volunteer is worth, a thousand conscripts so they say
I would never volunteer, if I had my own way
but when the sergeant says, two volunteers, that’s you and you.
you have to grin and bear it, and do what you are told to do

It may just be KP, or police the parade ground
but it could be latrine duty, digging trenches in the ground
then you have to go, and fill the old ones in
hold your nose, and gag a bit, the air in here is thin

Sometimes you go out on patrol, to see what’s to be seen
I’d rather be warm in my bunk, than walking jungles green
then someone yells out “contact” and you just hit the ground
and swear and keep your head down, 
as you chamber another round

Then contacts lost, if it ever was, more than a nervous call
now back to base, and thankful, as into the bunk we fall
tomorrow it will all start again, and if good luck goes my way
I will not be volunteered, and I will last another day.

Premium Member Buying a Coat For Love

She was like a big doll, he thought,
As he watched her standing stoically
So prominent in the window display.

A window shopper looked in.  So attractive, he thought.
Suddenly all reminiscent ideas fled,
As she had disappeared from view.

He walked towards the window display.
There was the dummy wearing a coat 
With a large mirror behind it.

Not a coat of fashion, though around the neck
It had some expensive fur, a mink no doubt.
It was not beyond his means really.

He mused whether he would dare offer it to her.
But he hardly knew her and was not rich really,
Just a poor latrine attendant with no schooling.

Dreams!  He was a fool for out of the shop
She came wearing the coat and she was not alone.
A hunk of a man strode confidently with her.

He looked back at the window now without the coat.
Only the mirror remained.  His face leered back at him.
Was his face that ugly that he resembled a mink?
Ah well, even minks have a loving mate!

Pastry Chef

The pastry chef made some cuisine
Then he went to use the latrine
He played in his pants
Which was covered with ants
Then fell into the mixing machine

The Chef

The pastry chef made some cuisine
Then he had to use the latrine
He played in his pants
He wanted a chance
Then fell into the mixing machine

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