Short Latrine Poems

My word would be Latrine;
My choice from those I’ve seen!

(I looked at a crossword dictionary and liked this word!)

For Nancy's contest...

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The pastry chef made some cuisine
Then he had to use the latrine
He played in his pants
He wanted a chance
Then fell into the mixing machine...

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The pastry chef made some cuisine
Then he went to use the latrine
He played in his pants
Which was covered with ants
Then fell into the mixing machine...

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Some people seek fate in the stars
Whilst others tempt fate behind bars
So there is a place
For those lacking grace:
The White House Latrine for Failed Czars...

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Young Groot, a small sapling so keen,
Said, "I am Groot!" to a big bean.
It rolled down the hill,
Groot yelled, "I am still!"
Then tripped on a tiny latrine.

©bfa031925

...

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I claim
No blame

For air
Once clear

That burns 
‘n churns

Of green
Latrine –

But you?
P.U.!! 

10/24/16
For:  Five Fabulous Footles Contest
(20 syllables)...

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While 
walloping 
waking 
whale 
withstood 
whipping 
winning 
warship 
which 
we 
were 
washing

Is this a lantern or a latrine?

Jim Horn

Someone enter it into contest for me....

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Trying to get back to some kind of routine
My body's all aching and I need the latrine
System's all screwed
Don't want to be crude
But the contents of my bladder could fill a ravine...

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   Peanut butter, Jack’s favorite cuisine
   ‘Til he ate a sandwich that turned him green
      Jack overlooked one thing
      That gave his sandwich ‘zing’
   Pea was spelled ‘Pee’ ~ smelled like a latrine
...

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Trying to get back to some kind of routine
My body's all aching and I need the latrine
System's all screwed
Don't want to be crude
But the contents of my bladder could fill a ravine


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Yesterday my drain was clogged
Woe was me my brain was fogged
No toilet, sink or washing machine
Whole house smelled like a latrine
But a bottle of black did the trick
24 hours the drain was slick
The sink went down the washer works
The smell remains rotten eggs it lurks...

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Trailhead latrine,  
cracked mirror—  
three of me grinning wrong.  
A soap shaver's chewed itself down, 
there's a beetle on its back in the basin.
I clean my hands as best I can,  
wipe them on my pants,  
get out,  
back into wilderness,
where I don't have to face them....

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I see heaps of 
rotten garbage
with flies and 
mosquitoes,
I hear noisy 
sexy songs,
I smell stinking 
odour,
I eat latrine-
worms,
I touch broken 
rusty 
machines,
I think of 
profusely 
urinating
on basils, lifting
a leg like a dog
and I tear 
sunflowers to 
pieces....

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An explorer called Nicholas Bean
Used a jungle path for a latrine
He started to pee
Got stung by a bee
His poor wotsit swelled up with gangrene.

The natives said you need a vaccine
Their witch doctor arrived on the scene
With some healing plants
Said “drop down your pants”
Too late it had already turned green.




Both limericks 9/9/5/5/9.



Written 15th March 2019

For green humour contest

Sponsored by Carolyn Devonshire....

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Baked beans, baked beans 
Boiling away on the stove, 
Baked beans, baked beans 
Butts turn into gas machines. 

Baked beans, baked beans 
All pants need to be rewove, 
Baked beans, baked beans 
Hard to keep, the undies clean. 

Baked beans, baked beans 
People run away in droves, 
Baked beans, baked beans 
Wait in line, for the latrine. 

Copyright Cynthia Jones 
June.21/2006 

I figured I would try coming up with a style of my own. ;o) 
...

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   Every day, same routine
      out of bed, in the latrine
   Cup'a'joe, out the door I go
      Work's a bad trip, but I owe

   Phony-smile time: 'How was your weekend'
      ('Still datin' that tired old girlfriend')
   Jumpin' through hoops way too small
      insufferable boss, cocky know-it-all

   Liberty bell rings at half-past-five
      the hour the dead come alive
   Off to the bar for a tall cold one
      hand on the trigger ~ all done


   

...

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I was never fond of the word or the color
it reminded me of ceiling stains in cheap hotels
infinite shades of latrine piss
bony cigarette fingertips 
grandpa's stage 4 jaundice 
the forever scar of cowardice...

I'm contemplating painting the kitchen 
in this forbidden color.
I'll have to pray on it awhile 
...it's a critical decision
maybe the most important of my existence.

The evolution of my inbred forgiveness and 
hobbled optimism heavily depends upon it. 

...

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