Long Latrine Poems

This is the story of mad Molly Shaw
She might be mad now but she wasn’t before
she came home to find her man dead on the floor
She lay down her bible and let out a roar...

Read More

"Oh, indeed she was, young man ... I mean Greg. It IS Greg, if I recall correctly?"
     "Yes. Or you can call me True Friend if you like." I turned to...

Read More

“Are you ready, DynDoeth,” the half elf asked?
     “As ready as I can be,” was his response. “It is in your hands now.”
They walked across the vestibule and started to enter...

Read More

Smelly Stuff Absorbed 

There are many words for those excrements that appear on the fabric in
incremental solid and deliquescent motions because ingestion fulfils that
autonomous need to shed ablutions but here I declare ‘Waste not Want...

Read More

Humanity Canteen

My restaurant is exclusive and classy no paupers allowed though I
have to declare that I picked up the chef near the township where
on a paraffin cooker in his garden of plenty lots of dishevelment...

Read More

Sung to, You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, (extended version).
KP

You’re a monster, Donny Dump.
Some biiig-time twiiisted clooown.
To no end, I could deride you,
are no depths you didn’t fall to,
no ineptness could elude you,
the bottom-feeders they...

Read More

"Will there be a need for a throne;
To sit on
In heaven
Fecal matter will it matter
Will we eat and consume manna foods
And do angels discharge sweat and waste
Oh! Are there need for thrones in heaven?
lavatory
bathroom
facilities
urinal
privy
latrine
outhouse
WC
water closet
public...

Read More

My uncle's farm lay nestled in the central Wisconsin hills
A beautiful location sure to cure this city boy's ills
So imagine my delight when invited to stay a week
During summer vacation, this was certain to be...

Read More

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the bay
Not a soldier was stirring in the hall or the way.
The clothes were all hung in the lockers with care
In hopes that the I. G. soon...

Read More

PERSERVERANCE BREEDS SUCCESS

Jss One was an insult, I cried
Like time should hit full stop,
My breakfast was sweet without
Salt,
My parents tasted like this evil
Citrus,
I continued to hide like Air Force
Was only for my seniors.

Jss Two arrived...

Read More

In the padded cell of my confinement I think and feel and slide

Down a slope of reason and emotion dressed in gloves and mask

I am rebel but in times of these I learnt to follow...

Read More

S€CRET $OCIETIES 

There it was on the internet for the world to see
“the secrets of the masons and secret societies.”
There were names and there were dates and details by the score
till the secret of their...

Read More

That old wooden box that we nailed to a plank
The pram in the ditch that required a good yank
All that we needed was front and back wheels
We wouldn’t need brakes for we had rubber heels

The...

Read More

Taking the usual amount of pills,
I place my bottled water on the window sill,
climbing into my comfy sanctuary,
hoping that sleep would be satisfactory,

Staring at the darkness waiting for sleep,
my mind started imagining things that give...

Read More

There was an elusive little guy often espied during World War Two,
And who he was and whence he came no one ever really knew!
He was a bald headed little feller with a very prominent nose,
And...

Read More

Oh no theres something alien in my stomach
something which want's very badly to come up
it's 4:30 in the morning and I feel very queasy
as I slide out of bed feeling quite uneasy

Was it something I...

Read More

Let not your heart be troubled by the recruiter's garrulous spiel!
After all, he's paid to embellish army life to offer you a fabulous deal!
When he called you 'private' you assumed there'd be privacy in store.
Never...

Read More

House of Leonard

I gave my legs to a flag with a blood marrow spoon
You blurred a moment of truth with your dying baboon

I swam the oceans of funk to get a soul full of bone
You...

Read More

Ladies - Gents, hear this that I may increase your leisure benefits!
All who have labored for cleanliness, for a spic and span to savor,
please allow me now to do you the most ginormous of favors...

Read More

The devil done put a new face
on an old sales technique
It's brash, it's bold
It's tricky sweet
But it tastes sour, this maggot treat
He swapped the fresh for the spoiled meat
Had to bait the trap good,
hide the...

Read More

STATEMENT: I thank God for blessing me with a gift of twins(two boys )during COVID-19 pandemic and many others after 12years of marriage .

Ask you shall be given says the holy book 
Better to do...

Read More

he was making so much turbulence

that he needed windbreaker trousers

his farting more than gas from cheeks

but a fluid blown attack on decency

and common sense in torrential times


full of ..it he let go off all inhibition

and...

Read More

At any rate the traffic was horrendous on interstate 24
constantly coming to a standstill like a sloth trying to crawl
or slower than molasses is a better description
many cars getting off the next exit because of...

Read More

'Tis well-known that military blokes speak a lingo of their own,
But it has served them well over the years, it has been shown!
To a General or a Private, such jargon is totally sensible,
But to ordinary...

Read More

I climbed a mountain in a land of sun
Of epic landscape and of sweet cuisine
But scarecely had my lone ascent begun
Than woke a silent urge for a latrine

Too long must I have lingered at the...

Read More