Cletus O'Toole spent some time in Reno
Where he lost his shirt playin' at keno
This caused a great deal of strife
With his long-sufferin' wife
She raged on like a squally El Nino
A Neapolitan Mastiff in Reno
Sometimes overindulges in vino
He’ll stagger and ramble
But will never gamble
Unless he stumbles into a game of keno
1/15/22
[Sing to the tune of “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” sung
by the Mother Superior in The Sound of Music]
Lose all your money
Where’re you go
In ev’ry casino
Vegas or Reno.
Lose all your money
Playing the slots,
Don’t forget, try Keno
Give it all you’ve got.
THE BRIDGE
Your hopes will be dashed
Betting big at the wheel
Ev’ry penny you’ve earned,
The casino will steal.
Lose all your money
Playing the slots
Don’t forget, try poker
Give it all you got.
Your hopes will be dashed
Betting big at the wheel
Eve’ry penny you’ve earned,
The casino will steal.
Lose all your money
Playing the slots,
Don’t forget, try Keno
Give them all you’ve brought.
A parody written December 4, 2021
Especially for “To the Tune of –Musicals--Part One” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Natasha L. Scragg
Bingo dice faro keno typical vino
recall of mind, yet but O' no
what have i done?!
Plucky feeling risk taker
tho' ne're been there ever
doth think economist specs ever wonder
how truth thou art has kinder
No they never , not of what i think
held by cruel little ring
yet they bolt all the thing
by one mysterious yet ming
politics it is; thou art has force
beyond mans cause
and so forth i am bound to live under that auth
there it be cause , surrounded by foes
Feed me, feed me the slot machine said.
You'll get lots of money and get really ahead.
Just a few more dollars that you won't miss.
My bright lights and sounds bring you such bliss.
Leaving the machines I sat down at a table.
The gambling here may just be more stable.
But try as I might - the cards wouldn't show.
Now what could I do - where could I go?
To these games of chance they say I'm addicted.
But truly I say to you I'm not afflicted!
Off to the races to place a bet.
Somewhere here I've got to win yet!
I've just won a hundred in Casino Town.
Now that only makes me four hundred down.
At a dead run I landed in Bingo.
And at the same time I also played Keno.
The day is over and it's time to rest.
Knowing in this I did my best.
My stomachs empty and my moneys gone.
So for now I'll just say - So Long!
FREEPORT RHAPSODY…
(Apropos A Visit Home )
Tired shrimp boats sit moored
along the muddy banks of the Brazos;
their day’s catch iced down and waiting.
Tormenting mosquitoes flew
from puddles of water
pooled between blades of salt grass,
feasting on the fresh blood
of buzzed home comers.
The aroma of seafood gumbo pots
saturated the salt water air; and the clinking
bottle caps signaled the gathering of keno players.
Olympian domino players slap their table tops
with rhythms that rival the best of Art Blakely’s
drumming on a full moon Afro Night.
Teams of bid whist players
played musical chairs.
Over chattering voices, echoes of howling dogs
faded into canine whimpers
as Gulf Coast breeze blew sweet memories:
Indeed there’s no place
like home.
You are my love; my one true honey.
Please, will you stop pestering me for money?
It was your idea to walk into this casino.
This is a place where I don’t particularly care to go.
You have played machines, keno, roulette, and blackjack.
What you have lost so far may give me a heart attack.
You keep plugging away, and don’t appear to stop.
I’m tired out now, and am ready to drop.
Hours ago, you did not heed my warning.
Now, we are seeing the first daylight of the morning.
Remember, I am the one who has to drive.
I would like to stay awake and remain alive.
Keno Baby
My wife and I liked to play keno
Just about every weekend we would go
She was pregnant and due any day
Over an hour’s ride each way
Other players would say
Your going to give birth today
We got home and went to bed
It’s that time my wife had said
Her water broke on the floor
Our first was born in nineteen sixty four
It was almost a maybe
That we had a keno baby
For those who hope clouds have a silver lining,
there is something they can bet on while dining.
They do not need to be on the casino floor.
Anywhere in the hotel, they can bet some more.
Hopes and aspirations are what this thing will spawn.
Monitors reveal the numbered balls that are drawn.
Every several minutes, new sets of numbers are revealed.
Huge jackpots in the multiple thousands it will yield.
To wager on this game, you do not need a lot.
Most patrons bet whatever little left they have got.
However, I warn you winnings are a long shot!
It is now in Atlantic City by popular demand.
You will see bettors with paper and pencil in hand.
This is a game most Las Vegas people will know.
It is the ever-popular game they call Keno.
Saga of the Lonely Cactus: “The Return of the Cactus” Part Four
Aunt Mikey searched the Big Apple far and wide,
‘Till she found the Lonely Cactus on the Lower East Side.
“Oh, Cactus, I’m sorry this happened to you,
But I know just what to do.”
“I see you are homesick,
No more, no less.
I’ll pick up my cell and call U.P.S.
They go to the desert on their
Regular route.
They’ll send you to Kieran,
Without a doubt.”
Kieran waited and waited for many awhiles,
‘Till the U.P.S. truck delivered the cactus all smiles.
“Oh, Cactus,” said Kieran with a joyful sob.
“I think what you need is an interesting job.”
“Over the hill and behind the stone hump.
Is a casino being built by Donald Trump.
The Donald told me he would hire a cactus like you,
Who knows how to deal the one and the two.”
“He needs cacti who are smart and cacti who are able,
To deal with the tourists at the blackjack table.
Poker and Keno are also his game.
I’ll miss you,
But it is best you go just the same.”
Rows and rows of flashing lights. slot machines
Aglo. Tables lined with their best felt, ready
For the Go. Jackpots, Jackpots all around, Hey
Folks lay your money down. Keno, poker and the craps.
For the very rich and fat there's Baccarat.
I love the sights and sounds of it. I even love
The clammer. The loud and happy sounds, a recent
lucky winner.
Am I having lucky times with quarter, nickle and
A dime? Time goes by so quickly, the money starts
To trickle. I'm down to my last nickles.
A pretty waitress came around to offer some
Refreshment. I said " I'd like a tall-cold beer".
She said "I'll be righ back." I put the money
in the slot and all the bells start ringing. I
am sure that that sweet girl brought me what I
Got - Luck - "Jackpot."