I told the nurse
I swallowed a snake.
He charted: religious mania.
But I felt her—
three and a half turns
sleeping
just south of the back
of my clavicle.
I called her Vera
then,
full breath
pried me open.
Fire-rising,
slithering:
it was gospel
sliding
down my vertebrae—
a ladder
Jacob had forgotten—
yea and behold though
we came
back for it.
I couldn’t stop laughing.
Or crying.
Or saying
I saw light in the colorless
rooms
outside
understanding.
When I explained, again,
how god comes
in my root,
propels
herself through
my expanded
throat
chakra,
they were furious—
branded me
inpatient,
wrapped my wrists,
ordered more
Thorazine.
They don’t let me
sit cross-legged,
say my mantra
disturbs
the others.
Just between
you and me
this energy wall
crumbling, this crux
of second comings,
this fifth horseman—
is a woman re-forming
initiation:
an apocalypse
finally
worth the animal
salt-sweat
hump
it took to get it
going.
My love you are the sun
I am the rain
I storm inside and you
Shine in me to tame
Your kiss is missed
Before it is a thing
I know your soul is
Part of me before a name
I am not sure we have met
My heart is pure though I digress
If we meet I will confess
I’ve waited for you passed test
As I have been inpatient still
Time has passed and we will
Be so blessed so in thrill
For two to be of one and live
I have not met you I believe
For if I had we would achieve
A simple level of desire and dream
I would never go you never leave
Love is not a fairytale
Unless you have nothing to compare
I have loved and it was not returned in kind
So I will say I am waiting for you valentine.
An unusual trauma.
That was earned.
That was received.
I maintain those memories.
So that they do not grow into impatience.
So that I will not have to go inpatient.
I strive toward harmony.
So I am not chosen once again-
To a life best lived in confinement.
Drive me away, my friend.
I am thankful for Survivor's Guilt.
As it means I am ordinary once again.
treacherous mountain
an inpatient wolf frightens
the lost dog watching
2/6/21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr 2021©
HOT SUMMER DAY
hair’s fallen, wet.
clinging shirt with sweat.
shoe’s barely protect
my feet, from the pavement’s heat.
i climb aboard the bus, no
air conditioning, of course,
and head to the bustling city streets.
perspiration stains and inpatient glances
all shout, with the fervor of a wet dog, shaking himself.
i depart this catacomb.
windows decorated with sundresses and sandals.
the dummies never bat their eyes nor stink,
though the steam seeps into every crevice.
i’m glum and irritated,
the heat pressing on every thought.
i’ve come here to find a gift -
and i do i do i do
not in the shops
but in the street.
i hear the uproarious laughter
of children.
the city street has sprung
a fire hydrant leak.
oh those tinkling voices,
like crystal, lifting up my spirits!
oh the joy of splashing waters
and the serendipitous smiles!
oh how i can live
through the glorious eyes
of happy children.
my heart forgets my complaint.
9/16/2017
Eve Roper’s Hot Summer Day Contest
1st Place
Love is a match you hold against the dark
Love, the circling moth embarks
Love, the hope that falls apart
Love is the knife you hold in my heart
Love inpatient, unkind regard
Love is everything you aren't
Love is the gun that goes off at the start.
In the China shop, screaming about missed sleep
In the ravaged church, mourning defeat
Scorch the earth and then retreat
The virgin inside, calling to me
I am the god you could not be
I am the demon that you freed
Love, unforgiving and unclean
Love, the gun against your teeth
Love,
Get down on your knees
Not once did I question your Love for me
By my side you stood
Safe within your shadow I grew
Believing in all i could be
You gave me Faith in me
Blessed by Love.........
You wanted the best for me
You worked hard to prepare me
I could feel the fear in your eyes
As if you had seen to much
Inpatient to my innocent disregard
I remember your words as you would help me with my studies!
"Why do you look to the sky for a answer?! The answer isn't written in the sky!!"
Armed with Loyalty you set me on course.......
Beauty in the Lord was your Gift to me
How my soul yearned to find your path
Thy Lords Kiss was yours alone
My path would not be yours
As Thomas I was to doubt........
" And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ"
As I look into the Heavens....
Yes......the Answers Are Written in the Sky......
I Give My Thanks to Thy God.....For Your Love and Light........
Stages and steps are the structures of Life’s nomenclature
a little mind isn’t ready to go through its rotating disk,
quick and fast void of much strain, no matter the way
but such an inpatient method carries the most risk.
Building upon contentment to slowly reach prosperity,
such energy is diverted for unholy accumulation in a brisk.
No item is beyond such eyes in need of sedation
the Lord of Moscow fighting to also be the mayor of Bisk.
Possessions beyond reach stimulate more awareness and sensitivity,
unconsciously and rapidly, mindfulness undergoes a frisk.
The unnecessary search for more, never nearly gets exhausting
but disappointment nods, tagging such a person with asterisk.
Enormous wants so large, yet squeezed by the mind and limbs
lands one in a tornado, subsequently throwing everything in a whisk.
The wind grows more inpatient as it litters the city streets with a kaleidoscope of colored leaves.
A precursor to the angry winter. I hope I have a car by then. A little place to sleep...
Hope this hole heals soon.
Would hate the winter wind to whistle through me. The swirling, grey skies beckon and call me to look up into the skyline.
I hide in a sarcophagus of hatred and despair.
I tiptoe upon the neatly placed eggshells, crushing them with a delightful, loud crunch.
Sitting outside...
Tobacco smoke thick in the air...
Waiting until it's grey, no more...
The duck plunged under water
but unable to endure
the headstrong falcon followed him
beneath the meekly sewer
While falcon’s feathers all were soaked
Duck rose in the air
and mocked the bird of prey
who was drowning there.
Blinded by the lights;
But in a rainbow of the night,
A lone star
Shines just as bright.
With the rise of the muffled cries
Of joyous pride,
A priceless moment captured in time.
As I stand within a crowd,
A memory is to last a lifetime.
With inpatient feet,
As the heart starts to beat,
No thought was conceived
To what could be.
But here we stand,
Listening to the music from the band.
The ground starts to rumble,
For there was no fumble.
While at the end,
And all smiles aglow,
I look toward you,
That gleaming star,
For that shimmering Hope you Bestowed on us,
And say, Thank you.
Say what is unsaid for years...
Say what in the face appears....
Reveal the words that twinkle in the eyes
Say everything....sans rhetoric & lies...!
Allow your tongue to adapt & adopt...
The language of the heart so soft...
Say to me what I want to hear...
Speak out the depths of your interior...!
This hesitation....this reluctance....
The moments of this satanic silence...
Make me desperate....& inpatient...
Undo the misery of what has been spent...!
Say what has been unsaid for years....
Tell me the causes of your smiles & tears....
Allow your eyes to supply the words...
And open the window to the world inwards...!
that down ass love, the kind you feel from your head to your toes,
unexplainable and yet still, the feelings stay fresh,
to be inpatient to see them, wait to hear their voice on the other end of the line,
A love that bonds to you, holds you, brings tears from happiness, from the sadness
of when you are not with them. A simple hug that lets you know without a word, without a doubt, that you are the only one.
He Loved strong, I felt it within my spirit, now that he is an Angel, I know he stays with me in Spirit, for our Love was unbreakable, unstoppable..
I sit and sometimes long to feel his arms and sense his presence, somewhere, letting me know he never meant to leave me. My heart is in a constant ache from missing him. I Love you my Teddy Bear Taotasi "Bolo" Mataafa, we will be togather when it is my time. Until then, I hold you and our memories close to my heart, We have a Beautiful Son, who looks just like you, my Love.
It feels like I haven't seen you
in ages.
Spending time with you was
the greatest.
I wonder if you still know what
my name is.
Not seeing you, I really do hate
this.
I never planned this
And never planned in your book
I would be infamous.
I hope you never think my love
is ancient.
Let the past go and let are love
be the agent.
I know I hurt you and your
tired of being inpatient.
I will love you and your heart I
will maintain-Mario Perez
Things never come out the way you planned, or the way you envisioned, but they do always come out perfect. Because God designed our lives. And his design always comes out they way He planned. We get inpatient, upset, we pick a fight with Him at time, and we try to make what we think is best happen. But instead of God returning the same behavior to us that we give Him, He continues to work His design. He continues to give us our perfect life. So if we just trust, be faithful and enjoy the perfect life we seem to not notice things are better. Life is better. The little things that don't come out the way we want don't bother us as much. Live the perfect life.
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