How do i get this off my Chest
i dont even know where to begin
doubt holds my chest
and alone i sink in
aware? or am i in oblivion.
I feel like I'm starting to fall
Back into that place again
The place that I try to hide from
That place I dislike being in
I'm not sure of the why, or how
I just feel that familiar return
Of the dark cloud that comes from nowhere
And makes happiness hard to discern
It resembles a feeling of grief
The heaviness weighs in my heart
I dont even know what triggered it
Or how to make it depart
Healthy coping is my challenge
Thoughts and feelings I need to pursue
And then I need to remember
That the only way out is through
So if all I can manage is self-care
And the patience to muddle my way
This gloomy phase won't last forever
And tomorrow's a brand new day
May 24, 2020
My dating experience isn't the best
I have no romantic skills to lay out to rest
I wear my heart on my sleeve
Cupid shot his arrow through the leaves
How could you do this to my heart
I dont even know you to mind f**k from a far
Your a person who lies like a butterfly
You keep f**king me as I cry
Only you are satisfied to do this to my mind
Twisting my stomach as I'm kind
You left me vulnerable, incapable, and used
I've been trying to get away from abuse
I didn't enter your life like I was going to take it
You took away my chance for love to make it
You humiliated me when I've humiliated myself plenty
When I'm sick you can't stop pushing me down to be more unhealthy
This where I say goodbye
To a life I wanted so i could survive
I dont even know what to say
Drunk and stumbling prevails the day
The future of mankind turns
Same as it was with a repeating yearn
Day in day out
Nothing matters
It fades and shouts
U wish it would all burn
My patience fails.
My patience is a concern
Weather the storm
He can never know I love him
He can never know I be missing him
but I would rather see somebody else with him
I'd rather let him go
than to let him know
cause I cant
just cant be hurt agian
I'd rather be alone
than to tell him I love him
No more heartbreaks in my life
He dont need to know anything
That way I can sleep good at night
Yes I'll always try to hide it
And Im always trying to fight it
I find myself in denial
Been feeling like this for a while
And I dont even know why I
Feel the way I do about this guy
I try to convince him to be with somebody else
So I can give myself another reason not to like him
With this being said
these crazy battles going on in my head
Writing down my biggest fear
cause I would rather somebody read it
than for me to talk and people to hear
I'm always battleing myself
cause I dont want to love
I dont want to be hurt agian
thats why I hate that I love him
Lord help me
Somebody please take him
I dont Want him to be alone
He cant be for me
I really dont want to leave this place cause I really like it here
Lord help me get over this fear
In Jesus name
why do i feel so guilty honestly im so ashamed...
This feeling ill never share nothing even feels the same ...
stranger lying next to me and i dont even know her name...
every night my sorrows drown round and round the whiskey rains.
i struggle with this pain immense crushing pressure on my brain.
cause the way she made me feel before ill never ever feel again.
exposure frees the hardest truths composer can not be maintained.
we just agreed that it was over no closure left for us 2 gain.
so easily you let me go....devoted but my heart was faint.
she broke my heart effortlessly and barely even showed restraint. .
I watched our fire fizzle out like drizzle on a open flame.
No point in pointing fingers now nor try to hear the one to blame ..
my heart was crushed to powdered dust an never once did i complain
I dont know where to start
I dont even know what to say
I even dont know how to put these words in a phrase
Yet one thins is for sure, our friendship is made not by accidents but by choice we made and faith.
Cheers to the night that we are one and for mornings what we are not in bind
Holy ghost filled our holes and understanding for each one is made from time to time.
Respect we have for each one cannot be answered nor questioned by anyone
Coz we find ourselves before we bind and share happiness, sorrows and everyhing under the sun.
Backhanded compliment always surrounds us from time to time
Yet we care not for we admit that sometimes, somehow, our friends knows us more even before time.
So thank you from me and for everybody, for sharing joy and pain to where we stand.
I have no talents
I have no words
So there is no voice
I have no Destiny
So im not going anywhere
I guess Im on earth but why
God doesnt make no mistakes
But he made me..
I ask myself how can I be happy for
Her
I dont even know how to be happy
for me
Life was empty and when she is gone
it still is
I dont wish
I dont dream
I dont hope
I dont try
I dont live
She os the only meaning to my life
So im Silent
Everyday I listen to songs that remind me of you,
I miss you so much I feel lost I dont even know what to do,
This is the hardest thing I ever had to go threw.
I would give anything just to have you back,
But I know thats not gonna ever happen so I dont know how to act.
Now your miles & miles away,
If I had one wish it would be for you to stay.
I just hope your happy and okay.
Since I cant tell you I love you to your face
I'm writing you this poem to let you know our memories noone can erase
and in my life noone will ever take your place.
Everyday I listen to songs that remind me of you,
I miss you so much I feel lost I dont even know what to do
This is the hardest thing I ever had to go threw.
I would give anything just to have you back,
But I know thats not gonna ever happen so I dont know how to act.
Now your miles & miles away,
If I had one wish it would be for you to stay.
I just hope your happy and okay.
Since I cant tell you I love you to your face
I'm writing you this poem to let you know
our memories noone can erase and in my life
noone will ever take your place.
oh! my beutifull nation,
i cant end-list your potentials,
and your lovely peace provision.
my sweet adorable Tanzania,
my love for you is not just an affair,
my staying here makes my life easier.
Ngorongoro, mikumi even serengeti
The national parks,that are the most amazing,
i dont even know where to start explaining their beuty.
God bless Tanzania,God bless Africa,
Is the prayer antherm I will forever alter,
For I believe my nation is a blessed one!!!
through it all just the thick and the thin
i seen it all but im still incomplete within
i never thought that i would ever win
that every thing i ever did was considered a sin
everybody lookin at me wit that serton grin
i can feel it within my skin
like my heads about to spin
and i don't even know who's on my side
i cant even face my pride
am i aloud to decide
seein everything worldwide
two worlds are about to collide
im stuck on my stride
and every word they said it just seamed like they lied
i dont even know how much i tried
everything's on low tide
and i don't even know if i can stick wit the ride?
i can feel my heartbreak
just like an earthquake
watchin my hole world shake
and i dont even know whats at stake
am i dreamin or am i awake
its like these moments that just fall down
its one sound
its one way
are u gone or are u gonna stay
i never thought this would happen today
i never knew that u would start to drift away
but i gotta say
that u got me on replay
my love that went up and down with no delay
and now my hearts like clay
constantly stuck on display
u can find me on the east side of tha bay?
I think ill make something new!
Something somewhat different with the words i spew!
Something about lost love to be found.
That will end up driven right into the ground.
Or in a box called lost but not found.
Or make something about death so hollow and sad.
So sad it will move the hardest prison grad.
Graduet.
Get it?
But anyways maybe not.
Maybe ill write a story of a baller getting shot.
But yeah ill probly not.
Whats on your mind though?
Have you got the time to find the time then let it go.
Just grab a notebook and let it flow.
Its like riding on a breeze nice and slow.
Like flying a kind real low.
Its easy unless its not simple.
Like when you use big words to sound obedient.
Which only rymes with words like expedient.
I dont even know what that means, i just threw it into the ingredients.
Sounds like a word thats rather deviant.
I like to build my poems like a subservient structure.
Im loosing it so bad my brains about to rupture.
This write sucks it doesnt make any sense.
Hence.
The reason im on the damn fence.
Becuase nothing i seem to do.
Seems to make sense.
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