Long I dont even know Poems
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You lie to my face you must think i'm dumb sometimes I feel like beating you up.
You cheat you lie I dont know what to do its like i dont even know you.
Your not the same person you used to be I guess that we're not ment to be.
Me without you is hard to believe but I guess thats how its going to be.
I hate the fact that things are starting to change i swear its starting to drive me insane.
Between my friend and losing you I swear i dont know what to do.
Its been 3 years since we been going out i swear my head is filled with doubt.
But its ok I will be fine because i have god by my side.
If we dont last it will be ok because you didnt like me anyways.
So this is goodbye i know we didnt last but every moment spent with you i thought
was gonna last
Its hard to let go of the memories that we used to share.
And all the times you showed me you cared.
But now them memories are dead and gone.
So I guess I have to learn to move on......
it's by the group "Switch"
for memorial service 9/29/10
i'm not worried bout a doggone thing
i'll take anything you bring
although i love the sunshine
i still accept the rain
and when i'm in a lonely mood
and i just can't be with you
i try everything to occupy my mind
but there is no substitute
thinking about all that life would bring
when your not around
i just can't seem to find my way
i dont even know up from down
but sence i've had you in my life
all things can be found
strong and true baby
comming from you
yeah yeah yeah yeah
i don't worry about what the people say
in my life today
although they try to say
your not the one for me
i loved you anyway
their intentions might be cool
and if what they say is true
there is more to you than they can ever know
and they don't even know you
thinking about all that life would be
when your not around
i just can't seem to find my way
i dont even know up from down
but sence i've had you in my life
all things can be found
strong and true baby
comming from you
you, i call your name girl
when ever i am lonely
i call your name
when i'm in the of love
i think of you and it eases the pain
take away the pain
(the morning i was working for some reason i played this song over and over and over
again and again the whole morning. later that after noon i receieved my tragic news
about april. later it came to me that this is the song that she want's me to sing. it truely
is a song about us.)
Form:
Sometimes i ponder why,
the way i am
Why the universe shows me myself
And shows me my reflection
While im just a man full of insecurities and sin
Born into a story that feels fiction yet still bland
I loose so much that it feels impossible to win
Im a failure im a freak
Im a monster
And It burns in my head as i hold in all this heat
I shouldnt even exist
As i fail everyone from head to feet...
I try to be happy..
But i dont know whats wrong with me
I can make all these words rhythm as i sink in my chest
Relapsing in my own misery
I wish i could change the world...and be the best
But my expectations always kill me
The farther i climb the harder i fall
But im trying to be more
For someone
Who like me wants things to change
Even if mine is more selfish..
Cheesy and raw
I just hope she remains
If not i guess il understand
As i am not the best of the best
Or the strongest internally as my soul breaks down most days
And brings me heart and mind to a crawl
I dont even know what this poem is about
Except for the fact i never feel worthy
Even if its my last name..
Like an angel stripped of wings
Yet i still make a way to hurry and bring myself off my knees
Before time closes the window
And il forever regret and think of what might have been to be
God is great. God is strong, watching over us with love keeping us safe in the shadow of his wings where we belong, the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, but no matter how sad things are i will thank the Lord every single day, some people come into our life and some people go, but God never leaves us this I do know, so no matter how much
llife tries to make you give in, stay close to Jesus... for with him the battle he always will win. Amen he goes before us to guide our way, he stands behind us to catch us if we fall and stand beside us in everything that we do, nothing can ever seperate us from the Love of God, we grow in his love every day and we sing his praises regardless of how much life hurts us, just keep singing and praying and standing with God, first in our hearts king forevr. price of peace Amen
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes.
The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you. Amen
i recenty tried to help a friend who I prayed for some time ago for too i tried to do something nice and inspirational and now they are not talking to me at all, I dont get it, the kinder you are the more people just wana hurt you for no reason, I dont even know what i did wrong how sad is that but God still stands strong Amen
Here we are, there we go
here i am, there you are
how can we be the cause of each others pain still
"Everytime i think about you i dont know its either im happy or sad
hoping not just to play you, but hey you try to do the same thing
im sorry if i seem weak or if i try too hard
my heart hurts to see an old friend when she looks at me with her head down
oh i dont know tomorrow i might go to jail
all in one night i jeapordized my freedom
cause im so hotheaded, hotblooded passion that pulls up, with your hair pulled back
then you let it fall down and then i get out this mess im in, you know i will, u know i will
i know with me everyday its something else,
im always trying to be good but i always end up doin bad things i know im mean to you in a bad way. i guess im not right in the head becuz all i see is a vision of a man when i lay down, except last night when i talked to you , you looked so worn out stressed out, why would you be with him when you could be with the man that u love still, its okay whatever you want its your choice, just please consider how much hangs in the balance, i dont even know if its talent, if im talented, or just sick of these lame conversations that people have with me, talking about all their troubles,but i have so many i cant even think straight
but i concentrate on the solution and i usually dont treat you with the love i feel becuz i dont love you if you dont love me, im sorry im a playa, im a crook, convict con-artist, tryin to find a way in your heart just so i can hurt him, i flip and turn words twist and bend the truth, make up *****just to send to u, becuz im trying to break down the fortress of your heart, count my attempts add em up, cross another day out on my calender, there goes another month, cross another month off my calender, and we collide so different then what we use to be, use this use them but dont try to use me or put me in their group girl, no enemy can stop me, even when men set the net, let their own foot be caught, slip and slide away, not trying to be slick with, or run game on you, so dont try to run game on me,
I love writing.
Books,
Poetry,
I love it all.
A way to express.
Write out emotions.
Ones I dont even know the names of.
I don't know how to feel them.
But i know i feel them.
And all I can do is write.
And I hope that,
Eventually,
Someone will understand.
That I'm not alone.
That another person feels the same.
That my words resonate with another being.
Sometimes when I write,
I giggle at my words,
Or tears begin to block my view.
Because I'm writing.
And I'm spilling my guts.
And my feelings.
And I'm not sure what they are.
But they're deep.
And they're real.
And they're raw.
But they're useless.
Because no one but me sees these.