Hysterically Poems | Examples

the date

The Date.
Sat in a pub talking to a woman of no substance
other than she wore a skirt and had boobs.
Pub closed, I was allowed
to follow her home
through dreary streets
fine rain and yellow street light.
I kissed her dry, bloodless lips
We parted.
Walking back to the seaman´s hotel.
She stood by a bombed-out church and had damp hair.
This is too absurd
again; I was at a place I didn´t want to be.
Money changed hands.
My loneliness laughed hysterically.

Paper People

I see a legion
Of paper people
Marching across the tabletop

Hysterically yelling
About their war
On parchment rights

Etched on their fibered faces
Were faithful ideas
Expressed in characters

And behind the paper army
Stood its commander
Who held nothing but a pen

-

Santa Gets Stuck In The Chimney Limerick

Santa got stuck in a narrow long chimney.
Struggled, wiggled for hours to get himself free!
He let out a Loud blast!
Landed on his Big Ass!
His reindeer were laughing Hysterically!


Michael Tor

Scarlets Cousins Discuss Her Life

Scarlet was impulsive, impetuous, and hasty.
Her cousins said her decisions were reckless.
I felt they were repeating their parents’ words.
Their parents made fun of everyone.

Scarlet was intuitive, determined and lucky too.
Most of the time her decisions panned out for her.
She married a man after knowing him nine days.
Their marriage lasted 71 years, until his death.

Scarlet quit twenty-eight jobs before finding her career.
Nay-saying cousins had much to say about this.
She quit many jobs on the first day, before lunch.
They thought this was hysterically amusing.

When you quit jobs this fast, it does not take long…
to successfully eliminate twenty-eight jobs that were not right.
She returned to school and became a counselor.
She loved this job, held on to it for twenty-seven years.

The cousins no longer call her reckless.
They consider her risk-taking wise now.
She has been content most of her life.
I think the cousins are more forgiving since their parents are gone.

No, Forgetful Sweety

So pathetic is the word,
I would like to say aloud;
your silly and giggling laughter
bothers me, it's a true disaster!

No, forgetful sweety
nothing convinces me,
don't scatter clouds
when it's too sunny;
should I belittle words
that make clowns laugh 
hard, it doesn't including me...
because it cuts me in half!

Don't hurry a conversation,
don't avoid physical contact
when feeling the urge;
I'm your closest friend,
don't sweeten my tongue
with tic-tac, I get upset!
Have a specific project,
trust can never end!

No, forgetful sweety...
betrayed hearts need empathy,
no, forgetful sweety...
pick up the broken pieces,
they can be put together easily;
gone are the bitter tears!

Don't touch me with frantic urge,
I may be tempted to purge
this restless guilt and act hysterically,
I won't waste kisses and feel terribly!
No, forgetful sweety: can rage 
change this mind so suddenly?

My last stand

So now I must write
For not to, is unfathomable
As finally it stands within sight
My story welcomes the improbable

Engulfed by my phantom 
I cling hysterically, to the unknown
Should this life had been a sitcom
The applause would had been renown

In the eclipse of it all
As greatness obscures the anxiety 
I pause and esteem the heeded call
Right here, I could write for all infinity.

Hate and Trump

He reaps what he sows

He despises everyone equally though
his supporters are fools, his own words
he said I can shoot one
and they will still love me
I am laughing hysterically as its true

His proclivities or resume as follows
Narcissist
Hater
Bully
Thief
Dictator
Anti democracy
Psycho
Abuser of women
Abuser of all
Racist
Convicted felon


Now every nut has a bandage on their ear
blind mice who are proud of being deaf too

Fools drinking the Kool-Aid

He reaps what he sows
1939 all over again

Time Changes

"Times have passed, times are here and times are ahead of us" said the 'Universe'.
Past times are gone,recent times will go and there are inescapable progressions into the future.
There are times we face it squarely, and times we shy away timidly.
Times we feel transcendent and times we hit below the belt.
Times we have a variety of choices and times we're limited.
Times we feel so energized and times we feel very worn out.
Times we paid much attention and times we looked unconcerned. 
Times we feel accepted and times we felt rejected.
Times our sense of judgements were accurate and times we aired.
Times we were lucky and times the odds didn't favour us.
Times we were heroes and times we were cowards.
Times we acted genuinely, and times we were fake.
Times we held on tight and times we hurriedly let go. 
Times we laughed hysterically, and times we cried out our hearts.
Times we were inevitable, and times we were totally ignored. 
Explore your full potentials,
For "Times have passed, times are here and times are ahead of us".

Funny Category

I will never categorise any of my poetry,
under the category of "funny," 
well, maybe this once only,
since the poem title is "Funny Category". 
To do so would feel way too presumptuous of me.
One person's disdain could very well be,
another's most hysterically funny.

Mood Swing Happens

Hello midnight hour 
It is I again
I’ve come to you in restless mood 
I’m not tired 
Nor am I sleepy
But here I be 
In sleepless mood

I fear not the darkness 
But I dare not close my eyes
I hear loudly the thoughts in my head
But I don’t even understand my thoughts
They’re a jumble of everything 

Now I feel like crying
But why
And there it is a single tear 
In silence it rolls
Down my cheek like a liquid diamond 
Wait there’s more now
Flowing like two small streams 
Hastily downhill 

Through misty eyes I heard laughter 
Oh, it is I laughing hysterically 
OMG, have I gone mad
Quickly I assured myself nonsense 
I’m just homesick in this restless midnight hour
And of course it’s that time of the month
Mood swing happens

Ahhh, to be a woman



Fin chuuk
 3/24/23

Wise Words-1

This is so deep:
There was a man who planted maize near the road.
He used to chase monkeys away from the field.
When the monkeys heard that the man,
who used to chase them away from the maize
field is dead, they rejoiced hysterically.
The following year there was no maize to chew
 within their kingdom.
That's when they painfully realised that the dead man 
was a committed farmer.

Moral of the poem:
Not all the people we associate with are our enemies!

Inspired by Hon Prince Mukuni
Poetry by Chipepo Lwele
14/02/2023

Her

Saw her when I was 15
And thought she's the one,
Spent a year thinking
Oh I'll definitely talk to her,
I still don't know her last name. 

I met Her at the college
Fell for Her when she just said hey,
This time I said too, Hi
But she soon bid me goodbye,
I still don't know the reason.

This went on for a year or two,
Before SHE approached me,
Asked me if I can help HER
In finding HER missing baby,
It was HER lost dog that brought HER to me.
We're still looking for it together.

I didn't fall for her instantly
Cos she annoyed the hell outta me,
She cried, snorted and laughed hysterically.
She's weird, she's crazy
Made me lose my sanity. 

But I still fell for her,
Knew she's mad
But I cared for her,
Knew she would laugh like mad
If I told her I'd been scared for her.

She told me all her stupidity
And I still waited for more from her,
I tried to play it down
But my feelings finally caught to her.
I think I've been in love with her.

Leslie Neilson- Laughs, Knee Slaps and Good For the Soul Eyerolls

Leslie Neilson
Straight faced reveals a pun
But what surely made him squirrely
They wouldn't stop calling him Shirley

Leslie Neilson
Armed with wit and naked gun
Genius buffoonery unparalleled
Save for what Peter Seller's Clueso upheld

Leslie Neilson
Dracula loving it as a dead one
Giving Renfield insect currency
And causing Mel brooks an emeRRRgency

Leslie Neilson
A parody on the run
Of spoofery not wrongfully accused
Only keeping us hysterically amused


Hope you know your Leslie Neilson movies for clearance, Clarence. 
Roger, Roger.

Crumb Unique

At the birth of every male child,
At his hair-cutting event styled,
At first birth-celebrations wild;
At his sister's ear-ring pomp, mild,
At school when their admissions filed,
Blasts the crumb, whole soul forces, piled...!

When enjoying a silent sleep, 
When solemn meditation keep,
When, within, alone, cry or weep;
When as rituals blind-faiths, seep,
When in farms rich harvest we reap,
Roars the crumb of drum like bomb-heap...!

When boys go mystic in playground,
When girls hysterically bound,
When kith-and-kin awe-filled surround;
When moralists sow seeds so sound,
When, wildest of the wild gets crowned,
Booms crumbs of music; all get drowned...!

At great festivals of marriage,
At bride-groom's glamour-horse carriage,
At bride's courtyard like effleurage; 
At death, with mourning, like steerage,
At mingle of broods like peerage,
Cracks crumbs with fullest coverage...

Crumb, for us, is not bomb or shell,
Nor any grand ancient witch-spell,
Nor blast of some planets far dwell;
It’s, loud noise pollution, like hell,
That, in truth, is a rude death-knell,
Though we cherish it like church-bell...


19 January 2022

Bugs Bunny

Bugs Bunny
his exploits were so funny,
his pranks on poor old E Fudd,
were hysterically good!
 
Elmer Fudd
if he could kill Bugs he would,
but his plans do always fail,
for a new saga and tale……..

Joseph May sponsored
written 22/09/21
2x 3,7,7,7 aabb rhyme sequence
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