The second hand on the clock mercilessly drones on.
Surrealistic seconds spin dizzyingly.
Distorted colours of sagging sunrises melt into intoxicated sunsets.
Vapours of innocence dissipate into laughing
stars,
hysterically hyperventilating on sorrow’s torment.
The stinging dirt beneath my feet offers no condolences,
only festering deeper into subcutaneous wounds,
infecting every white blood cell until delirium overrides.
Shame and regret drip from screaming clouds
as a murder of crows gathers in the dank ambience,
criticisingly cawing between razor-thin lapses in time.
Frenzied winds obscure judgement.
Vines of poison ivy tangle,
dragging me down in the pandemonium,
whilst a growling ground begins to open,
exposing the truth—my festering grave.
Feel the accelerating pain of memories taking hold.
Already dead, drugged by denial,
a soul bound to a faded reality,
vanished within the cracks hidden
within the confines of time.
“Now Ben,
if you are going to be in front
you have to keep an even rhythm!
None of that spastic, erratic
slapping of the water,
and stop banging my paddle!”
“Words of wisdom Ben:
in life you keep it smooth,
keep chatter to a minimum,
and you’ll travel the water
in style”
This is going to be a long trip
but luckily, it’s a small lake
“Stop talking so I can ID some birds!”
“Caw-caw! Caw-caw!”
“Ben!”
“Look mom!
Bluegill!
Get closer so I can pick
that white flower”
“Is there something on my back?
Mom, do you see something red?”
“No. I analyzed closely”
“I love being analyzed
closely”
I start laughing hysterically
and almost turn us over
No boats on Lake Lure
but a few lazy pontoons
at 9am
His first delivery
The Retired Ladies Knitting Club
he knocked on the door
when opened they were all laughing
hysterically
he smiles but was curious
what's so funny?
they all said "ssshhhhhhhhh"
The second deliver
to the Painters Watercolor club
he was now amused
they too all laughing hysterically
he asked what's so funny?
they replied "sshhhhhhhhhh"
Next delivery
to the Gardeners Association
he walked in to a mob laughing
he was ok, what's so funny?
they all replied in unison
"sssshhhhhhhhhhh"
Now off to the Weekly Book Club Group
he was suspicious at this point
and yes, they too, all laughing uncontrolably
he couldn't resist
what's so funny?
the replies "shhhhhhhhhhhh"
The last deliver to a funeral home
at least they would not be laughing
to his surprise their laughter the loudest
he asked again, "what's so funny?"
reply the same, "shhhhhhhhhhhhh"
His shift over
he was mystified
at the laughter
but I guess
Silence was the answer
ssshhhhhhh LOL
Once having parted, with me
Left, overnight
For its sorrowful worldview
A rainstorm's fright.
As what doomed, hysterically
Shaky, sobbing wet
Sunned peace of it; this my face;
And your fair garden.
A-twirl as twere. Each cheek then.
May-drooped. Each budlet. *
* bloom of the hawthorn
The Date.
Sat in a pub talking to a woman of no substance
other than she wore a skirt and had boobs.
Pub closed, I was allowed
to follow her home
through dreary streets
fine rain and yellow street light.
I kissed her dry, bloodless lips
We parted.
Walking back to the seaman´s hotel.
She stood by a bombed-out church and had damp hair.
This is too absurd
again; I was at a place I didn´t want to be.
Money changed hands.
My loneliness laughed hysterically.
Santa got stuck in a narrow long chimney.
Struggled, wiggled for hours to get himself free!
He let out a Loud blast!
Landed on his Big Ass!
His reindeer were laughing Hysterically!
Michael Tor
Scarlet was impulsive, impetuous, and hasty.
Her cousins said her decisions were reckless.
I felt they were repeating their parents’ words.
Their parents made fun of everyone.
Scarlet was intuitive, determined and lucky too.
Most of the time her decisions panned out for her.
She married a man after knowing him nine days.
Their marriage lasted 71 years, until his death.
Scarlet quit twenty-eight jobs before finding her career.
Nay-saying cousins had much to say about this.
She quit many jobs on the first day, before lunch.
They thought this was hysterically amusing.
When you quit jobs this fast, it does not take long…
to successfully eliminate twenty-eight jobs that were not right.
She returned to school and became a counselor.
She loved this job, held on to it for twenty-seven years.
The cousins no longer call her reckless.
They consider her risk-taking wise now.
She has been content most of her life.
I think the cousins are more forgiving since their parents are gone.
So pathetic is the word,
I would like to say aloud;
your silly and giggling laughter
bothers me, it's a true disaster!
No, forgetful sweety
nothing convinces me,
don't scatter clouds
when it's too sunny;
should I belittle words
that make clowns laugh
hard, it doesn't including me...
because it cuts me in half!
Don't hurry a conversation,
don't avoid physical contact
when feeling the urge;
I'm your closest friend,
don't sweeten my tongue
with tic-tac, I get upset!
Have a specific project,
trust can never end!
No, forgetful sweety...
betrayed hearts need empathy,
no, forgetful sweety...
pick up the broken pieces,
they can be put together easily;
gone are the bitter tears!
Don't touch me with frantic urge,
I may be tempted to purge
this restless guilt and act hysterically,
I won't waste kisses and feel terribly!
No, forgetful sweety: can rage
change this mind so suddenly?
So now I must write
For not to, is unfathomable
As finally it stands within sight
My story welcomes the improbable
Engulfed by my phantom
I cling hysterically, to the unknown
Should this life had been a sitcom
The applause would had been renown
In the eclipse of it all
As greatness obscures the anxiety
I pause and esteem the heeded call
Right here, I could write for all infinity.
He reaps what he sows
He despises everyone equally though
his supporters are fools, his own words
he said I can shoot one
and they will still love me
I am laughing hysterically as its true
His proclivities or resume as follows
Narcissist
Hater
Bully
Thief
Dictator
Anti democracy
Psycho
Abuser of women
Abuser of all
Racist
Convicted felon
Now every nut has a bandage on their ear
blind mice who are proud of being deaf too
Fools drinking the Kool-Aid
He reaps what he sows
1939 all over again
"Times have passed, times are here and times are ahead of us" said the 'Universe'.
Past times are gone,recent times will go and there are inescapable progressions into the future.
There are times we face it squarely, and times we shy away timidly.
Times we feel transcendent and times we hit below the belt.
Times we have a variety of choices and times we're limited.
Times we feel so energized and times we feel very worn out.
Times we paid much attention and times we looked unconcerned.
Times we feel accepted and times we felt rejected.
Times our sense of judgements were accurate and times we aired.
Times we were lucky and times the odds didn't favour us.
Times we were heroes and times we were cowards.
Times we acted genuinely, and times we were fake.
Times we held on tight and times we hurriedly let go.
Times we laughed hysterically, and times we cried out our hearts.
Times we were inevitable, and times we were totally ignored.
Explore your full potentials,
For "Times have passed, times are here and times are ahead of us".
I will never categorise any of my poetry,
under the category of "funny,"
well, maybe this once only,
since the poem title is "Funny Category".
To do so would feel way too presumptuous of me.
One person's disdain could very well be,
another's most hysterically funny.
Hello midnight hour
It is I again
I’ve come to you in restless mood
I’m not tired
Nor am I sleepy
But here I be
In sleepless mood
I fear not the darkness
But I dare not close my eyes
I hear loudly the thoughts in my head
But I don’t even understand my thoughts
They’re a jumble of everything
Now I feel like crying
But why
And there it is a single tear
In silence it rolls
Down my cheek like a liquid diamond
Wait there’s more now
Flowing like two small streams
Hastily downhill
Through misty eyes I heard laughter
Oh, it is I laughing hysterically
OMG, have I gone mad
Quickly I assured myself nonsense
I’m just homesick in this restless midnight hour
And of course it’s that time of the month
Mood swing happens
Ahhh, to be a woman
Fin chuuk
3/24/23
This is so deep:
There was a man who planted maize near the road.
He used to chase monkeys away from the field.
When the monkeys heard that the man,
who used to chase them away from the maize
field is dead, they rejoiced hysterically.
The following year there was no maize to chew
within their kingdom.
That's when they painfully realised that the dead man
was a committed farmer.
Moral of the poem:
Not all the people we associate with are our enemies!
Inspired by Hon Prince Mukuni
Poetry by Chipepo Lwele
14/02/2023
Saw her when I was 15
And thought she's the one,
Spent a year thinking
Oh I'll definitely talk to her,
I still don't know her last name.
I met Her at the college
Fell for Her when she just said hey,
This time I said too, Hi
But she soon bid me goodbye,
I still don't know the reason.
This went on for a year or two,
Before SHE approached me,
Asked me if I can help HER
In finding HER missing baby,
It was HER lost dog that brought HER to me.
We're still looking for it together.
I didn't fall for her instantly
Cos she annoyed the hell outta me,
She cried, snorted and laughed hysterically.
She's weird, she's crazy
Made me lose my sanity.
But I still fell for her,
Knew she's mad
But I cared for her,
Knew she would laugh like mad
If I told her I'd been scared for her.
She told me all her stupidity
And I still waited for more from her,
I tried to play it down
But my feelings finally caught to her.
I think I've been in love with her.
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