Long Hysterically Poems
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Underwear, Me and Stand Up Comedy
Nothing quite as truly embarrassing,
Other than standing in front of strangers
unconsciously undressing.
Imagine, if you will, being alone on a stage, doing a comedy act.
And you feel your underwear fall to your
ankles which was, indeed, a real fact.
Luckily I was wearing a long, black dress!
When I felt my winter underwear at my
ankles, I was in a state of distress!
Please don't ask me why!
But I just bent over and threw them over
my shoulder toward the sky.
The audience hysterically laughed,
At my most embarrassing costume gaffe!
And~~ I did not miss a beat.
What's one to do when the act is over?
I found them hanging on the bass drum.
I thanked the warm audience, and took them and a cab home for relief and cover.
¥¥¥¥¥
This was a true event, in my days doing stand up comedy. One of the best and happiest times of my life. Panagiota Romios
¥¥¥¥¥
July 5, 2020
3:30 pm PST
Ruminating
The wheels of my mind
Turning and churning
Trying as hard as I can
To come up with that topic
You might possibly be interested in
You don’t seem to care about
Anything that interests me
You like to shoot down ideas
Find something to judge and laugh at
You’re half deaf or half listening
And love to laugh hysterically
At what you thought you heard
Because that’s so much more interesting
Than anything I might have said
Finally bored and tired of it all
Till it finally dawns on me
That one topic that will be of interest
Of course, we can talk about you
AP: 1st place 2021
#SWISH! SWASH! SWOOSH!
MORE, MORE...POUR SOME MORE!
Oh what's in store, for this day, is a memorable drenching, a satiated and satisfying encapsulation of sensations
met rigoursly and rapturously...
RAIN on THIS day, Won't Disappoint and it's an ALL DAY AFFAIR WITH NO CARES IN THE WORLD! {SMILE} IT'S NATURE'S DOWNPOUR, IN STORE...
"OH THE POSSIBILITIES!!!" {SMILE}
YOURSELF: IT'S 7AM...BUBBLE BATH TIME!
YOU IMMERSE IN PURE PLEASURE, YOU'RE ABLE TO LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW, SKY WATER IS CRASHING AND THRASHING ABOUT, IT'S EARLY AND YOU HAVE THE ENTIRE DAY...TO YOURSELF! CRISP WHITE LINEN AWAITS YOU, PREMIUM BREAKFAST GOODIES PARTAKE YOU, MORE WINDOW VIEWS, AS RAIN ENSUES...AND YOU RELISH*
ALL YOUR NEXT CHOICES, SO MANY! SO
MANY! THE THUNDER GUIDES YOUR* WONDER!!!
FRIEND: YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND CALL AND SAYS..."LET'S GO THRIFTING!" YOU BOTH COINCIDE WITH A SHARERIDE ALL AROUND THE CITY! WE WEAR OUR FAVORITE RAIN GEAR, COLORFUL OF COURSE, WE'RE FILLED WITH JOY!!! WE RETRIEVE AT LEAST TWO MOST TREASURED ITEMS, AS WE DISCUSS OUR FINDS, AS WE DINE, WHILE LAUGHING UP HYSTERICALLY*
AS IT RAINS...NO PREVENTION OF THE DAY'S GAIN!!
LOVER: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
WE BOTH SIGH, AS WE LIE IN SHEER EXCLAMATION AND EXCITEMENT WITH OUR ADDED COMPANION, THE RAIN!!! THERE'S NOTHING LIKE IT, THAT SMELL IN THE AIR, THAT ALLURE, OH SO PURE! "BABY, THE CROISSANTS ARE IN THE OVEN, WE WILL FEEL RAVENOUS AFTER OUR LOVING!!!" AFTERALL, IT'S A RAINY BLISS"FULL" SUNDAY, NOTHING MATCHES THIS TYPE OF MAGICAL, MAGNETIC AND FANTASTIC GETAWAY...
"I'LL SAY!!!" "I'LL SAY!!!"
SOUL :-) GRIN...
"ESPECIALLY TODAY!!!"
Renee D. Gross {GHPPR} March 25, 2023#
IN THE SOUP
My late aunt was always getting herself in the soup,
Wanted to share this with my poetry group,
Good clients of ours we invited home for a Greek meal
But my aunt made a mistake she couldn’t conceal,
Angelina’s boyfriend was nineteen years younger,
Handsome son said my aunt, what a lucky mother.
And before I had time to give her a kick under the table
She continued to speak nonsense, when are you due,
I whispered to my mom, your sister sounds unstable,
Yes Angelina said, I’ve put on a lot of weight of late,
I can see said my aunt , but when is your due date!
My mom walked out, she was fuming, so did my dad,
I was left holding the baby, excuse the pun,
This dinner party was getting out of control, not fun
So I said to my aunt your temperature from your flu
Has made you delirious, come lie down, but we
We were not yet out of the soup, came back in an hour,
Sat down and carried on, Jenny has told me
You have our invitations for the wedding in your
Bag and the last straw was this “my commiserations”
To the boyfriend instead of my congratulations!
Fortunately my dad was filling up Angelinas glass
And the boyfriend’s with wine,
They were quite pickled when they left,
Did no recall a thing that was said,so all was fine.
Needless to say my aunt was never again invited
When guests were around, otherwise
The next time, with pleasure would have crowned
Her myself and she would also be grounded!
After my aunt and uncle had left, we laughed hysterically
Because all was in fact said naively, not hypocritically!
English was not her mother tongue, recently
Came from Greece,
And wanted to make conversation and please,
Nothing was said intentionally.
LIL’ MISS GHOUL
On the night of Walpurgistnacht,
Lil’ Miss Ghoul walks into her bedroom,
She is deeply saddened after the break up with her latest man.
Lil’ Miss Ghoul puts on her black Victorian dress,
Softly weeping, she sits down at her Gothic, Victorian Vanity Mirror,
She gets out her pure black lipstick and paints her lips black,
Her nails already painted black from this morning,
Lil’ Miss Ghoul walks to her window and slowly looks at the moon,
Her sobs becoming stronger as she tilts her head at the full moon,
She sings to herself a song of love as she begins to weeps hysterically,
Lil’ Miss Ghoul returns to sit down at her Vanity Mirror desk,
She looks at all the pictures of the men surrounding her mirror,
The men who swore their love to her, used her and ditched her,
She slumps over her sobs uncontrollable.
She looks at the Gothic switch blade knife and picks it up,
She looks at the men she thought loved her,
One by one, they were only interested in her body,
Lil Miss Ghoul makes a hard, quick slash across her right wrist,
She looks at the moon, then, slashed her left wrist.
Lil’ Miss Ghoul stops crying, as she looks at the moon.
The blood from her wrists like a geyser, quickly spilling from her body,
She never takes her eyes off of the moon as her life slipped away,
Lil’ Miss Ghoul rises from her body, looks at the men she thought loved her,
She remained hovering in her room, till the next morning.
Momma came knocking, entered her room, and screamed,
Momma screaming, “Oh, my baby!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!”
Daddy came running to Momma’s screams,
Daddy falls to his knees as he begins to cry, “NOOOO!!!!!”
As the days passed till Lil’ Miss Ghoul’s funeral,
Lil Miss Ghoul in spirit form attended her own funeral.
At her own funeral, Lil Miss Ghoul looks around,
Her entire family was there, all her friends,
She watched as they all painfully weeps hysterically.
Lil Miss Ghoul realized she has made a mistake,
As she says, “Oh my God, what have I done? These people are the one’s that love me, why did I let these men get to me?”
Rapid ideas sprinkle out of my dendrite village,
Flowing down my shoulders, landing on the best of days,
In kilter skelter felter welter milter belter jagged piles
in crazy, zany, silly, dark, ugly, horrible, unnatural, weird ways.
I watch them form little armies. Some skitter off into the kitchen walls.
Others slither back up my legs, trying to reinvent themselves.
None want my help, so I walk into the living room.
Some are laughing hysterically, thinking it is a game.
A couple of them hit me hard in the middle of my lower back.
They are giant jumpers, trying to get back into my skull.
Good luck I think, knowing my imaginary dendrite village well.
If there is one thing she does not allow,
it is access to repeat offenders.
Best to lie down on a page and let me
Draw a cartoon around you or put you into a poem.
Come one, Come all
To the Circus of Love
We accept all comers
Try to win a White Dove.
It really doesn't matter
If you've been here before
Enter to the left folks
Step right through that open door.
Once is usually never enough
to appeciate Love's Center Attraction
Its sometimes takes more than several acts
to find true pleasure and satisfaction.
You can attend throughout your lifetime
You can be assured you'll never be bored
The Circus makes no loving promises
You'll have no idea what's in store.
Experience the strangest and oddest sights
that you'll ever before have seen
Feel deep heartfelt emotions
You'll have no idea or clue as to what they mean.
Juggle all of your emotions
Sometimes difficult, and sometimes with ease
Fly to your hearts highest plateau
on overwhelming Desire's flying trapeeze.
Mount Passion's lusty White Horse
With a certain strength of gallentry
Balancing daring affections
From deep within one's stormy seas.
Laugh and cry hysterically
With Life's most enamoring of madeup clowns
Delivering a plethora of both joy and tears
In Love's loony escapade of grins and frowns.
Dare to crack and fling your heart's amorous whip
Face the wildest of Venus' Beasts
Ride the gentlest of Eros' Elephants
Though in size and scale they are not of the least.
Get shot with Cupid's Arrow
Fly from a cannon through the air
Attempt all liasions without a doubt
There's never a life's moment ever to spare.
Copyright Christine A Kysely December 19, 2010
(c) Copyright 2010 by Christine A Kysely, All Rights Reserved,
[Written as a sort of sea shanty style thing-a-me-Bob. Tin Fish = Torpedo]
When the tin fish hit me starboard I was thrown into the sea
I sank down to the ocean bed for all eternity
I met a man called Davy Jones who handed me a key
I opened up his locker just to see what I might see
But then I sensed my captain who came drifting up to me
He gazed upon the locker with some curiosity
I looked into the locker and was quite surprised to see
A brandy for my captain and another one for me
We drank the brandy down and then my captain looked at me
He said do you feel squiffy and I said, ‘Decidedly’
I sprouted extra legs and then I hollered frantically
It seems that Davy Jones has made an octopus of me
But then I saw a mermaid and she winked suggestively
Strangely she was right there where the captain used to be
And then it dawned upon me that the mermaid once was he
The captain sure was pretty now, but too much man for me
He still had all his ‘tackle’ which was pointing straight at me
I quickly crossed my legs - all eight - but then I couldn’t flee
The captains mast was raised and he intended it for me
I tried to swim for freedom as I screamed hysterically
And then I felt my shoulder being shaken frantically
The naval doctor said I wasn't drowning in the sea
The medic blamed my diet and he made me this decree
Don’t have cheese for supper or much later than your tea
Crazy People
The signal they need to be on the same
channel as you, is being interrupted, by voices or
wave signals connected to a different power station.
So why not listen to the message?
Instead you medicate. So now when they laugh
they cannot tell you what is funny....so
therefore, you stifle the message, and kill humor.
Instead of finding out what flight they were prepared for,
you medicate without understanding.
His drummer sent him a message,
that's the drum he dances to.
You kill the message, sedate the messenger;
And now you will never know.
Who's crazy them or you.?
Since some sit upon the right hand,
and some sit upon the left;
It’s only the Yen and Yang of God......
The crazy person wakes up laughing Hysterically;
You cannot even laugh at all...
So who's crazy, Them or you?
Both created by the same God,
or MAYBE Not!
Quakes are whistling through my Californian 9 acres of hills
Targeting all of the marked souls I have killed
Whispers of violence scream inside my hatred-prone heart
Infecting my cranium and pulling my body apart
Shadows possess my lifeless body in bits
When will the madness inside of me quit?
Eyes closed in despair as my fingers type out these words
To desperately get my world of madness to others finally heard
Paranoid and crazy I watch my windows and doors
To prevent anymore of this world's gore
Locking myself out of my own house in a deep shame
To counterattack Satan's plan to steal my name
Planning to steal my existence I wait
To bombard Satan with every ounce of this deranged hate
Banishing me from the world he wants so bad to overrule
Laughing hysterically at me for pulling my Tarot 'Fool'
Sinister secrets and a deeply dark haze
To never get through this insignificant maze