I woke up to the quiet and
told myself "I will survive"
The morning felt heavy, so I
whispered "Let it be"
Walking past our old
corners, I remembered
"One day in your life"
And how the light used to
follow you like "Here comes
the sun"
I'm not chasing ghosts
anymore, I'm learning
"Shake it off"
Some nights I still hear the
echo of "Someone like you"
But I choose the softer
road, the one that sings
"Brave"
And tells me "You are not
alone"
When the doubts get louder I
answer with "Fight song"
And let the silence end with
"A thousand years"
You come into my dreams
Standing there slightly judging
Please go and leave me alone
Your sadness penetrates my life
Thoughts and memories
Come rushing back
I wake up in a cold sweat
Only to realize that you aren't here
Let me live my life in peace
I have suffered long enough
I still see your smirk
And the quiet commanding voice
That leaves me no choice
You are no longer here so please go
I have paid the price of your death
Picked up the pieces of your sadness
Scattered all over the house that I left
Ran away and never looked back
Thought you would leave me in peace
What do you want from me
I have a new life without you
Let me heal please...
Jennifer
The wind blew leaves like confetti all around
It's a party for Autumn to celebrate sight and sound
There's so much beauty to see, so much to be heard
As the wind blows, clearing ways to be cured
I never let a day pass without noticing something
Whether I feel good or bad, healing will always ring
Heidi Sands
10/5/26
(C)opyright
I swayed to your bamboo flute
delicate
hollow purity reverberated
into marrow sallow
tenacious sounds sent forth
healing
peeling
seedeaters, woodpeckers
finches —
inches upon inches
who harboured in bamboo’s unstinting growth
their arbour …
witnessed I a wakeful field from which
spaciousness sprouted
into a bamboo life
inviting tranquility
rooted into inscrutable
golden loam —
they stood flexibly erect
waiting to serve …
____________________________
4th Placement: Premier Contest
Sponsor: Brian Strand
Oct 26
____________________
[ Poet’s Note :
This poem is an expanded version
of my Brevity Poem : Bamboo ‘26 :
Gold Placement Winner :
Allpoetry Oct.26]
Surrounded by my friends
But I still go home and start
Writing all alone in my room
Thoughts keep coming back to you
Each time I taste the liquor
All it does is sour my memories
I can’t see the good you brought me
Same with the others before you
I have to stop and look at myself
Is it a pattern, am I a bad person?
What’s wrong with me and the way I love
Maybe I don’t deserve it all
My therapist said I made progress
But I don’t quite see it.
Cause if I was the perfect man
I wouldn’t repeat all these mistakes again
I find it so hard to trust my heart
In anyone’s hands, maybe I’m the problem
But I still crave physical attention
Without having to go deeper
Where do I go from here?
Should I try again
Or lock myself in my shell
Maybe something fake is what I need
I’m trying to unlearn all the things
That hurt me and lead me to hurt others
So if it means to block off love
I’d do it until I know I’m worth loving
Is it possible to grow out of it?
Is it possible
To be big enough for favourite meals
And snack trips?
The taste never changes,
No, In fact it grows sweeter…
Is it possible
To be serious enough
To not chuckle at jokes
Which were silly yet hilarious
With nothing but
The sound of laughter to compete?
Is it possible
To be bold enough
To forget the eyes
That held yours when
All your worries came spilling out
No matter how shy you were
When you met them the first time?
Is it possible
To forget
The coffee meets
That turned into lunches
And walks —
Into all aspects of life
Despite being in a time crunch,
Waving it off like it was no big deal?
Is it possible
To grow out of
The very feeling you called home
Which were mostly hearts
Of the wonderful people
You had known once
But lost a little
Every passing day?
Is it possible to grow out of (that) yourself
Without the agony of losing
The never lost?
Aligned, intact wheels
Smile of stark accomplishment,
Satisfying smooth sail!
There’s a kind of power in my failure.
Like a bell that always rings inside me.
Not too loud, but at the same time,
its echo feels like a song teaching me
that failure is but a phase.
It makes the world unpredictable.
It rings when I fall,
as if it's a sign I will rise.
It rings when I cry.
Yet when I hold a pen and paper
and write my pain out,
it barely makes a sound ,
like a bell too shy to ring.
So, I let it ring in its own time,
like it always gives me a chance to be me.
Yet on those days it rang,
it showed me that I was here,
and made me turn failure into a song,
a melody that lingers, uninvited yet welcomed.
If there's no light, I'll create it.
If there's no fire, I'll make Warmth.
If kindness is lacking,
I'll gently place my hand on the wound.
If the ether is missing, I'll call it.
If the shelter is crumbling, I'll fix it.
If home is unreachable,
I'll build another with integrity and might.
If the joy is no longer, I'll find it.
If the spark is out, I'll light it.
If conciousness is gone,
I'll sit with you quietly to remember.
If the noise is too loud, I'll bring quiet.
If the quiet is too loud, I'll bring poetry.
If meaning is no longer present,
I'll remind you of how time and space aligned so we could look into each other
The borders fell like fever from a long-tormented frame,
No steel was turned, no legions marched, no decree spoke their name.
For when the node of silver wood began its quiet rise,
The phantom lines of sovereign pride dissolved before their eyes.
The ancient ghosts of territory, of fortress, and of crest,
Like winter frost before the sun, sank deep into the breast.
The pain that once had armed the hand and built the concrete wall
Was opened to the anchor node, unmetered, shared by all.
A mother’s cry in Sector One, the drought of Sector Four,
No longer stopped at checkpoints or the barricaded door.
The collective mind, in empathy, received the bitter sting,
And wove the ache of centuries into a single string.
Where once the barbed dividers stood to guard the hollow grain,
Now surged a tide of healing hands to wash away the stain.
The map of old Vaeloria, where blood-bought nations bled,
Became a tapestry of care, by quiet mercy fed.
No citizen was left an island, stranded in their grief;
The shared scar of the species brought its ultimate relief.
I was a child with questions, no answers in sight,
Why was love absent, why was home not so bright?
A little girl stood in a storm alone,
Searching for love that she had never known.
But then two hands held me, old yet so strong,
My grandparents whispered, "Child, you belong."
They did not ask about my scars or past,
They gave me love that would forever last.
They taught me to read, to write, to dream,
To find my voice, to proudly scream.
Where mother left shadows, they gave me light,
They turned my darkness into mornings bright.
So no, I am not broken, not lost anymore,
I have found what I was looking for.
I am not the tears my childhood knew,
I am the love my grandparents grew.
I sat again on that old broken bench at the park,
Watching birds, people, and the last rays of the sun fade by,
Remembering our final words—spoken so far from kind.
A single tear I had to shed for the moments lost in time.
The skies turned suddenly ominous, though I knew not why—
But by the grace of God, a little girl smiled, ever so bright,
And I finally realized: forgiveness is not so far behind.
Like a programmed robot
I move through each day
Smiling and nodding
In just the right way.
Pretending I'm happy
And life is just great
When the truth of the matter is
There's just too much on my plate.
I feel like I got cheated
Out of living a good life
I'm poor and alone
And I'll never be anyone's wife.
I'm like that lone shoe
You see lying on the road
Alone and discarded
Like an unwanted load.
People pass by me
Staring with pity
Torn and tattered
Not an ounce of pretty.
The shadows in my eyes
Portray a battle lost
Nightmares and insomnia
Show surrender’s cost.
The physical scars
Have healed without a trace
But the mental emotions
Are still written in my face.
I'm a programmed robot
Struggling each day
Trying to hold my head up
And wishing I could fade away.
A raw nerve exposed
A painful wound reopened
- Next step of healing
IN FORGIVENESS AWARENESS
Wow! I slipped and fell!
A wrong decision was made:-
Sad tears flowed for days.
Agony tormented me:
Dear God forgave my mistake.
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