Soliloquy Colloquial
When I saw this contest
I knew I had it beat
Speaking plain and simple
is really kinda sweet
Like stealing candy, from a baby
It will be a piece of cake
They won't know, just what hit them
When I leave them in my wake
But I'm sure they'll rack their brains
And put their ducks all in a row
Hold their cards close to their chest
'cause they think their in the know
But of course, as fate would have it
I'll finish last and have a cow
while someone other than myself
Will have penned, the cat's meow
I sure have learned my lesson
You thought I would by now
To keep my big mouth shut
So the utters won't have a cow
I've learned that most opinions
Are just a lot of bull
When they are done with one
They give my other leg a pull
I think I'll stay here quiet, this is my firm decision
It's not that I've been bullied, or suffered a good licken'
But, If the fight is worth fighten'
I'll be first to start the Kickin'
Then they will find out
who's the chicken
I've learned that most opinions
Are just a lot of bull
So, let me get the sack out
So they can fill it till it's full
When you see me out to pasture
And I'm sure you would agree
There's really no use pickin'
It's just best to let me be
As I filter through these items stored
Within my mind and heart
Am I to just pretend
You never held a part
Held so loosely in your hand
Without restraint or guile
Made my spirit take to flight
Uplifted by your smile
Why must I hit delete on
Memories held dear
A moot point at best,I simply can't
They always reappear
It is a fact you left a mark
No superficial wound
Cut to the core forever more
Flight feathers permanently pruned
The first cut IS the deepest
All that follows but a scratch
Trying as hard as was possible
I would not take the patch
All in my life incurred since then
I hold no one to task
As I honestly gave all that I could give
Putting on my happiest mask
So........I will always be your Buddy
You will always be my Pal
And if any have a problem
They can also have a cow
Give me back my pie little monkey said the ape man.
I wish I could said the pygmy marmoset, waving a fan.
You can! Said the ape man. And I want it done now.
You don’t have to have a fit, said marmoset. Don’t have a cow!
But it is my pie, I baked it this morning the ape man said.
It is full of juicy cherries, all sweetened and red.
If you don’t give it back, I shall beat you on the head.
Marmoset stuck out his tongue and ran off with it instead.
Jokester Jester balances himself on the tip of a ball.
Some of the maids in waiting whispered he would indeed fall.
He was super confident, because he had mastered this trick.
It was one of his specialties, his name was Balancing Nick.
The king was not impressed, he rolled his hazel eyes instead.
Then he said in a most severe voice “Off with his head!”
The maids in waiting were astounded. They stopped tittering now.
“I am kidding!” The king told them with annoyance. “Don’t have a cow!”
I have not finished painting on the jelly the persnickety cat said.
The lacksadaisical cat laughed, she is flexible in her head.
The Meow Hotel has high standards said Mr. Peabody One.
Smart Aleck Cat knew then she was about to have fun.
She ran with the toast to room four thirty-two.
When they answered she meowed “how do you do”?
That’s not the way we serve. Where is the rose?
Smart Aleck Cat laughed from her head to her toes.
I am serious Mr. Peabody One said, angry now.
He was so irritated. She said, “Don’t have a cow!”
I guess they never married, my listener said.
“They actually did, and they remain wed.”
In the 1920’s a hundred years ago
There was so much slang, it danced to and fro.
The cat’s pajamas meant a marvelous thing
Something terrific, an idea that could swing.
Whoever created it is probably gone away now.
But it meant something exciting, great. Don’t have a cow.
Another 1920’s lingo that meant, don’t lose it please.
Many of these sayings are long gone in a breeze.
This is my last last poem
I don't want to write no more
I know you're hearing what I'm saying
Cause I've said it all before
I know you think that you can beg me
Getting on your hands and knees
Letting tears fall from your eyes
While softly chanting "Pretty Please"
You can buy me fancy paper
Trade my pencil for a pen
I know you still can't believe it
So, I'll tell you once again
This is my last last poem
And I knew you'll have a cow
And I'll never write another
Until tomorrow any how !
The both, my Parents, mom, too, are dead now,
And what a thing that is to have to know.
I really can’t get up and have a cow,
But smiles, sometimes, seem they are all for show.
And now, to other twists of laughing fate!
My mother died, but two weeks from my wife.
My father died, nine days before my birthday.
I seem to have a gift for calling strife!
My sister lost her mom a week before
Her birthday, and she says dad said goodbye
Around that time – hard Luck nailed shut the door
In August and September, thus, we’ll cry!
O, what a comedy of hurts is this!
No wrinkled, or rough-whiskered cheek to kiss!
As My Town Goes Sinking
My town goes sinking, sinking
Beneath a sea of shopping malls
As I sit and ponder, drinking
Staring into merchandise stalls.
Each mall boasts two dozen stores for shoes,
Providing fashion for Yuppie feet,
While all I can do is feel confused
As I watch the disappearance of my streets.
Now it's 300K for every tiny townhouse
For the foreign invader and his spouse
Come to commute, born to shop,
To drain the town's spirit to its last fatal drop.
Seems to me my memory of a nice little town
Used to exist here, before the glitterdomes;
A place where one felt up when things were down,
Sensible people in sensible homes.
Now I just sit sometimes, and watch it all sink
As I help myself to another drink.
Now Bart Simpson, over across the way,
Advises me, as he did yesterday
Not to get worked up, or "Have a cow";
But on reflection,
At the risk of rejection,
If I could, I would - right here and now.
Pick up your fiddle get to the floor
stomp your foot say gimme more
chin to the wood its understood
no I can't - yes I could !
Tilt the bow don't have a cow
stand up close frog it now
slide that thing make it sing
no you can't -yes you could !
Pick up your fiddle get to the door
stomp your foot say, "give me more"
Chin to the wood, out to the hood
play it again now,
no I can't - yes I could
no I can't - yes I could
no I can't - yest I could.
I was so bent on finding my Prince charming,
that I took a class on agriculture and farming.
Had to have hands on training and milk a cow,
but there was no one in sight to show me how.
I got all A’s in the class portion, so I said I got this
that darn cow was so mean and just would resist.
The milk went everywhere but into the pail,
so I just sat there and I would scream and yell.
While me and the cow was fussin, I heard a laugh,
I just had to know who made fun of my new craft.
I looked up and saw the most handsome man,
He said” Ms. can I help you my name is Stan.
I forgot who I was for second let alone a cow,
“come over here I’d be happy to show you how.
Stan and I have been together every since that day,
all because I took up farming and my Prince came my way.
2-16-18
Alexis Y.
A metaphor is such a bore,
When it is overused,
And words that rhyme are out-of-line,
When they are so abused
And those cliches are 'here to stay',
And drive us all insane,
But we continue using them,
And so we're all to blame.
It's like 'we're on the same old page',
Or 'talking to the wall',
Don't mean to 'beat around the bush',
So please don't 'have a cow'.
A 'screen-door on a submarine',
Is such a useless thing,
And when I rant and criticize,
I'm 'going out on a string'.
For many disagree with me,
And say that I am wrong,
And then they 'go their separate ways',
And 'sing the same old song'.
A metaphor is such a bore,
When it is overused,
But I have trouble finding words,
So please have me excused.
3/3/15
Remember we take responsibility on our own account
As of now
How?
Could you have any idea what I'm about
If you just listen to what came out of another person's mouth
Especially if it was negative and rather foul
Then don't you dare have a cow
Before giving me a chance to disprove the doubts
Not that I'm worried about having to verify or vouch
And with that I'm out
Stomach continuing to growl
Time to get some chow
Preferrably kung pao
Cruising around the town
To familiar and unfamiliar grounds
Enjoying the moment atop the mountains and the profound
Amount of clouds
Aiming to rise higher with less fluctuation than the renowned DOW
And if not, I'd still be proud
For trying instead of giving up and holding my head down
It's not allowed
Don't cross the line or move out of bounds
Like a wolf, I like to stare up at the moon and howl
Before continuing on the prowl
With senses and vision sharper than an owl
Never blowing my cover or making a sound
Sometimes I burn up so much loud
All by myself or with a crowd
By: Dalton Ogletree
I want a relationship that'll bring championships.
I don't want to be reading fake scripts.
I want something that's real.
So my heart won't ever have to heal.
I want that kind of thrill.
Some people had said this.
And still went on to have a fake kiss.
I'm not like that.
I like to chat.
I'll listen.
And I'm a Christian.
I don't want a random companion.
I want a companion that'll help me become a champion.
I want someone who shares the same beliefs and not someone who thinks I'm underneath.
I want someone who can handle my jokes.
Not someone who'll give me strokes.
I don't want someone to change my personality.
I want someone who can adapt to my family.
I want someone to love.
Not someone to shove.
I don't want drama.
That always comes with karma.
I want a girl.
And definitely not hurl.
Maybe your that companion.
Just let me shoot you out of a Canon to be sure.
And let's see if your mature.
Honestly I don't know where to go now.
If you have a cow.
I'll help you chow down.
Oh boy I hope I meet clown.
Related Poems