Best Have A Cow Poems
A cute gentile pig in New York
plays hopscotch over turtle hurdles
which eased her bunny
until a smack talking turkey announced,
'Did you hear how the skunks in bombay
lost a spelling bee - to an
artistic aardvark named clark?'
Around her, muttering mosquitoes
Dear teddy bear, my teddy bear
While a mynah bird confesses
to freeing an elephant
Who stands where dragons roam
dreaming of dinosaurs, as
King Doberman eavesdrops on
Seagulls talking to a sock monkey
Don't have a cow
The little red squirrel told my lioness-
Koalas love a cooling tang.
7/21/19
For 20 Titles from 20 Friends contest
Sponsor: Richard Lamoureux
A cute gentile pig in New York - Gershon Wolf
Turtle Hurdles - Mark Toney
Eased Her Bunny - Rico Leffanta
Smack Talking Turkey - Freddie Robinson Jr
Skunks in Bombay - Pat Adams
Spelling Bee - Line Gauthier
Artistic Aardvark named Clark - Caren Krutsinger
Muttering mosquitoes - sand blown
Dear teddy bear, my teddy bear - Connie Marcum Wong
A Mynah Bird Confesses - Kim Rodrigues
Freeing an Elephant - Suzanne Delany
Where Dragons Roam - P.S. Awtry
Dreaming of Dinosaurs - Jan Allison
King Doberman - Tania Kitchin
Seagulls Talking - Rhona Mcferran
Sock Monkey - Nina Parmenter
Don't Have a Cow - Alexis Y
The Little Red Squirrel - Pixie Dust
My Lioness - Anisha Dutta
Koalas Love a Cooling Tang - M.L. Kiser
SISTER IN LAW
MY ONE AND ONLY SISTER IN LAW.
MY BROTHERS LOVE,MYBROTHERS WIFE.
TOGETHER YOU ARE GOOD AND RAW .
STUCK LIKE ONE IN YOUR LIFE
AT TIMES LIFE WILL PITCH YOU A HARDBALL
STICK YOU IN THE BACK WITH A KNIFE
AND STILL YOU DON'T LET YOUR SELF FALL
LIFE AT TIMES COMES REAL HARD.
STILL YOU HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH
AND YOU ALSO STAND REAL TALL
MY BROTHER LOVES YOU HE CAN'T DENY
YOUR THE ONLY ONE I WILL CALL.
MY ONE AND ONLY SISTER IN LAW
WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU NOW.
WILL ONLY MAKE YOU LAUGH LATER.
DON'T LET NO ONE MAKE YOU HAVE A COW
REMEMBER YOU ARE A LOVER NOT A HATER
DON'T EVER THROW IN THE TOWEL.
YOU ARE YOUR OWN FRIEND,AND A CREATOR
I AM SO GLAD HE PICKED YOU.
WE BOTH ARE PICKY, WE HAVE OUR PRIDE.
SO ONCE AGAIN I'M GLAD HE PICKED YOU.
TO BE THE ONE BY HIS SIDE.
MY ONE AND ONLY SISTER AND LAW.
I.T.
S.K.A.T. POETRY
This Kitty Kat is back
As a matter of fact
I was hit by a car, I was discouraged.
I let them get the best of me--
--Thanks for pushing me off the ledge.
After getting bitter attacks
I realize I have something they lack.
It's been 5 days since I left drop the soup
Then I realize these poets are a fun group
My daughter and sister are having fun without me
Did you hear, without me
I got a couple of things to clear
Cheers
I have an attitude change.
Who cares if things in here are strange
Give me the poetry news.
I will comment your Haiku, without having a clue
From now on I will be happy dandy, Meow Meow.
Until someone else makes me have a cow!.
Thanks for giving me the courage
Standing up to the poetry soup punks
SKAT
I want a relationship that'll bring championships.
I don't want to be reading fake scripts.
I want something that's real.
So my heart won't ever have to heal.
I want that kind of thrill.
Some people had said this.
And still went on to have a fake kiss.
I'm not like that.
I like to chat.
I'll listen.
And I'm a Christian.
I don't want a random companion.
I want a companion that'll help me become a champion.
I want someone who shares the same beliefs and not someone who thinks I'm underneath.
I want someone who can handle my jokes.
Not someone who'll give me strokes.
I don't want someone to change my personality.
I want someone who can adapt to my family.
I want someone to love.
Not someone to shove.
I don't want drama.
That always comes with karma.
I want a girl.
And definitely not hurl.
Maybe your that companion.
Just let me shoot you out of a Canon to be sure.
And let's see if your mature.
Honestly I don't know where to go now.
If you have a cow.
I'll help you chow down.
Oh boy I hope I meet clown.
When I saw this contest
I knew I had it beat
Speaking plain and simple
is really kinda sweet
Like stealing candy, from a baby
It will be a piece of cake
They won't know, just what hit them
When I leave them in my wake
But I'm sure they'll rack their brains
And put their ducks all in a row
Hold their cards close to their chest
'cause they think their in the know
But of course, as fate would have it
I'll finish last and have a cow
while someone other than myself
Will have wrote, the cat's meow
"The Impersonator"
Discovered on karaoke night
A few friends gave him a dare
To imitate the star he thought most of
For a hundred bucks if he cared
He got up on stage and sang with a whimper
It was his first time under pressure
To the boos and the heckles
This was not in good measure
With nothing to lose he got rid of his fright
Before he said a good night to all
He picked up the pace, to Usher he would sing
That is if he had the gall
Getting better he was with the rhythm
Showing people what he hadn't given them yet
A well oiled machine oh yes
He was determined to win that bet
Dancing around with dynamic class
There was no stopping him now
His associates took big drinks of the liquor
Losing all that money they were going to have a cow
His voice box was a storage crate
Filled with tons of jovial surprise
'Give me that money' he said
That they did with new found awe in their eyes
He was good they retorted
You should go on tour
Unless you have other talents better than this
Say a desk job somewhere, but god what a bore
He went around impressing people
The man and the image were becoming closer
For the joy how it started
It was actually hard work to be good and not a joker
There were no problems being an entertainer
Some time went by with growing popularity
Admiration built on another person's fame
There was no problem leaching serendipity
Then one day he grew so big
And the man himself showed up
He was about to knock him in the face
But saw he was still just a pup
A youngster with nothing else to do
This moment built up consternation
Stealing efforts off the artist's image
He hoped that it started out as admiration
It did though, so he punched him not
In fact he started blushing, for imitation is flattery
A major reason he picked the man in the first place
The issue resolved itself without assault or battery
They decided to go on tour together
The differences would be minor
Covering his sick days and vacations many a time
The copy cat would not live finer
For a long time they lasted taking over for each other
The secret would go with them forever
To give them a bond of deception on the audience
Their ties no one could sever
A metaphor is such a bore,
When it is overused,
And words that rhyme are out-of-line,
When they are so abused
And those cliches are 'here to stay',
And drive us all insane,
But we continue using them,
And so we're all to blame.
It's like 'we're on the same old page',
Or 'talking to the wall',
Don't mean to 'beat around the bush',
So please don't 'have a cow'.
A 'screen-door on a submarine',
Is such a useless thing,
And when I rant and criticize,
I'm 'going out on a string'.
For many disagree with me,
And say that I am wrong,
And then they 'go their separate ways',
And 'sing the same old song'.
A metaphor is such a bore,
When it is overused,
But I have trouble finding words,
So please have me excused.
I was so bent on finding my Prince charming,
that I took a class on agriculture and farming.
Had to have hands on training and milk a cow,
but there was no one in sight to show me how.
I got all A’s in the class portion, so I said I got this
that darn cow was so mean and just would resist.
The milk went everywhere but into the pail,
so I just sat there and I would scream and yell.
While me and the cow was fussin, I heard a laugh,
I just had to know who made fun of my new craft.
I looked up and saw the most handsome man,
He said” Ms. can I help you my name is Stan.
I forgot who I was for second let alone a cow,
“come over here I’d be happy to show you how.
Stan and I have been together every since that day,
all because I took up farming and my Prince came my way.
2-16-18
Alexis Y.
As My Town Goes Sinking
My town goes sinking, sinking
Beneath a sea of shopping malls
As I sit and ponder, drinking
Staring into merchandise stalls.
Each mall boasts two dozen stores for shoes,
Providing fashion for Yuppie feet,
While all I can do is feel confused
As I watch the disappearance of my streets.
Now it's 300K for every tiny townhouse
For the foreign invader and his spouse
Come to commute, born to shop,
To drain the town's spirit to its last fatal drop.
Seems to me my memory of a nice little town
Used to exist here, before the glitterdomes;
A place where one felt up when things were down,
Sensible people in sensible homes.
Now I just sit sometimes, and watch it all sink
As I help myself to another drink.
Now Bart Simpson, over across the way,
Advises me, as he did yesterday
Not to get worked up, or "Have a cow";
But on reflection,
At the risk of rejection,
If I could, I would - right here and now.
As I filter through these items stored
Within my mind and heart
Am I to just pretend
You never held a part
Held so loosely in your hand
Without restraint or guile
Made my spirit take to flight
Uplifted by your smile
Why must I hit delete on
Memories held dear
A moot point at best,I simply can't
They always reappear
It is a fact you left a mark
No superficial wound
Cut to the core forever more
Flight feathers permanently pruned
The first cut IS the deepest
All that follows but a scratch
Trying as hard as was possible
I would not take the patch
All in my life incurred since then
I hold no one to task
As I honestly gave all that I could give
Putting on my happiest mask
So........I will always be your Buddy
You will always be my Pal
And if any have a problem
They can also have a cow
Save me from myself
Please save me from me
Save me from myself, Lord
This is my heartfelt plea
Save me from myself, Lord
I can’t do it on my own
I tried to do it by myself,
And look how much I’ve grown
Save me from myself, Lord
This mountain’s much too high
If I climb it on my own, Lord
I’ll sit, and pout, and cry!
Save me from my self, Lord
The billow’s o’re the bough
If you leave me on this ship alone
Well, I just might have a cow!
As you can see, I need your help
I’m better in your hands
Save me from me, and keep me safe
And I’ll do as your will demands!
Form:
The both, my Parents, mom, too, are dead now,
And what a thing that is to have to know.
I really can’t get up and have a cow,
But smiles, sometimes, seem they are all for show.
And now, to other twists of laughing fate!
My mother died, but two weeks from my wife.
My father died, nine days before my birthday.
I seem to have a gift for calling strife!
My sister lost her mom a week before
Her birthday, and she says dad said goodbye
Around that time – hard Luck nailed shut the door
In August and September, thus, we’ll cry!
O, what a comedy of hurts is this!
No wrinkled, or rough-whiskered cheek to kiss!
dawn's over-usage
Again, again I hear another use of the word dawn in a poem,
in a phrase, in a conversation ... in my headache
... another sweet dawn, another morning dawn,
... another break of dawn, dawn's eyes peaking, another dawning
dawn, dawn, dawn
that sneak
why, why, why
please,
I want to vomit with her overuse, already
her smug little face i see every daybreak
every morning
please,
no i'm not jeolous
such rotten eggs to my eyes and ears
dawn, dawn, dawn
can life shed some good light
put it this way
Connie's going to have a cow soon
it won't be pretty
listen connie
helps on the way
Connie we hear you, we do
trust us
help is on the way we repeat
we're sending your physch doctors right away
okay,
then again maybe we're not
okay, rats
it's just that everyone's in love with dawn, doc
why the infatuation
like i woke up to a new dawn, please
people writing, like she's an animate object
people speaking like she'd a god, doc
that she ... oh, oh, will spring to life and open her arms
like an angel, or celestial being
please
she's not, doc
she nothing special
she not the easter bunny,
she's an overused phrase, doc
point being how how often do you read
about eve standing center stage
getting fawned ,exposed
not as much as dawn, doc
that ...
where did you go doc,
doc, help ... what was that about blasphemy
where did you go doc,
yet. yet just look what I read
Saturday's Wall Street Journal
head lines
vomit time
Trump Starts A New Dawn
Please, you
please, find an answer to this riddle
connie pachecho
1/24/17
You've heard of those, haven't you?
Those hanks of hair, standing straight up
toward heaven, as though
to guide you on your way?
Well, where we came from,
people talked about cow licks.
If you complained about your hair,
they would say, “You have a cow lick,”
as if that settled the matter.
What, a cow licked the top of my head
when I was on my way into the world?
Who invited a cow to that event?
I hate cows. I'm terrified of cows.
I run from cows.
You struggle, you gel, you brush,
you tease, you use super-hold hair spray.
Nothing, but nothing, works.
It's a curse, that's what it is.
For all of my life, wherever I am,
No matter what I'm doing, I will wear
that mark smack in the top of my head.
I don't know much about that new body
we're promised in heaven, but I've
already put in a request to St. Peter
for a smaller set of boobs. I think I'll
add a postscript, “And get rid of this
#*%@# dad-blamed cow lick!
We all know that we know there’s someone that’s smarter
That our best’s not the best that will ever be done.
But that is no reason to quit, a no starter,
And it’s not like a small bit of work’s a burden.
At times it is difficult just getting started,
The task isn’t well defined, time frame is crazy,
My budget’s a pittance, the path is uncharted.
It is normal in fact that I’m feeling lazy.
My parents were too strict, my boss even meaner,
All my friends self-absorbed and employees too green,
I think that I need it, where’s my intervener?
Don’t desert me God, help me make sense of this scene?
Well the day’s close to ending, it won’t be long now,
Just one more Dr. Pepper, conclusion forgone,
My sweet wife will be home soon and she’ll have a cow
There is really no choice, shoot, I’d best mow the lawn!
Brian Johnston
August 4, 2014