Gyp Poems

Growing old and decrepit

...We cannot fight old age –  So, when I get there…  I’ll just embrace it with a big dollop of humour!!  Quote by poet.

My decrepit body makes me cry
Growing ol...

Mother In-Law’s Tongue

...In this woke world I’d soon be hung
If I had had your spiteful tongue
How ironic that its wagging
Only stopped when you were gagging

And as I tried to grab the shard
Of chicken bone that was s...

Flipping My Lid

...It’s been a hard day but there’s no laws to say
That I can’t settle down with a gin
Late night R & R with an hour of TV
And then I will maybe turn in

The gin… that was easy, just spin that scre...

Santa Loses His Lid

...Dasher was reluctant, and in a bad mood anyway
So, he let Santa try to push him, out of his way
Santa gave an elongated sigh as he pushed him up snow.
But Dasher weighs five hundred and two and re...

All In All

...Turn round around
Get me astounding 
Wait for me 
Do not disagree
Let us glue
Traces of you
Superb memories abounding 
Which keeps funding
With kindest emotion
My hearty devotion 
Playing t...

The Gambler

...The steely-eyed hombre stepped down from the stage that sultry afternoon.
He looked about with disdain, then swaggered to the Cripple Creek Saloon.
His hat lay low upon his brow and swung low was a...

The Run Away Cat

...Carol’s naps are plenty with a puppy on her hip.
He’s romping fields, she is captain of a pirate ship.
Cat is curled up next to Carol’s swollen up top lip.
Deathly allergic, her eyes open with a w...

Keeping Our Island Safe

...My country
Covid free

Ferry trip
causes gyp

Men arrive
Then they drive

To the shop
Where they stop

To buy drink
Didn’t  think

They’d done bad…
Are they mad!

Their ...

Dining's Out

...New place
Sounds ace

For lunch
Or brunch

Meets Dom
And Tom  

Got new
Menu

Reveals
Good deals

Endorse
Three course

Deals viewed
Choose food

Veg soup
Vile gloop...

Darting the Issue - Hoof Hearted

...Two players were vying at darts,
there’s chaos when somebody farts
Both players deny
letting a fart fly 
and suddenly the trouble starts

Maybe their gut gave them some gyp,
and se...

Getting Older

...Accidents many years ago it seems,
Now cause pain, spoiling my dreams.
A whip lash crash, a slip or fall,
Long forgotten, no, not at all.
Why does my shoulder ache so much?
Why are there days wh...

If the Diaper's Loaded, Change It

...Is your mind in the gutter,
full of what you shouldn't utter?
  Or perhaps it's your conscience
  which eats you alive with slanderous nonsense--
  about your ex, matters of sex, or your neighbor...

Pain In the Butt

...I visited Doctor Longdong 
Told doc something’s terribly wrong 
The pain in my hip
Is giving me gyp
He said it was caused by my thong!

I admit I’ve put on some weight
Can’t resist...

Horseplay

...I was working cattle with a crew a little south of Muleshoe,
When I watched a horse work with perfection and grace.
I said "pardon me gent, no offense is meant,
But your horse is the smartest thin...

To My Inspiration

...I wonder how it whips the zephyrs that flee
In a churlish yet blissful den
Throttling though the gushing of glee
And seized a million mirth like a wee ben?

I wonder how the flowers bloom
In a ...

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