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Growing old and decrepit

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I admit to nothing in the poem - its purely tongue in cheeck for the decrepit Contest Sponsored by Constance La France 06/08/25

We cannot fight old age – So, when I get there… I’ll just embrace it with a big dollop of humour!! Quote by poet. My decrepit body makes me cry Growing old ain’t fun, I cannot lie My bladder leaks, it makes me sigh Pelvic exercises I will have to try! I’m not so agile, I am way too slow When I need the loo I HAVE to go Cos I can’t control my urine flow Pass me a nappy, I won’t say no!! I piddle when I cough or sneeze I’m chesty, got an awful wheeze My boobs have sagged well past my knees Do I want a new body - ooh yes please! To hear bird song really loud and clear I need a hearing aid for my deaf ear Going totally deaf I truly fear I’ll get ears checked again this year My aching limbs sure give me gyp Got arthritis in my knees and hip No cure for wrinkles around my lip Anti aging creams dumped in the tip! I repeat myself, that’s no falsehood Instructions can be misunderstood I repeat myself, that’s no falsehood Oops my memory is not very good

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Jack Horne

Date: 7/16/2025 4:00:00 AM

Ha ha ha, thanks for all the chuckles here, my friend

Duke Beaufort

Date: 6/13/2025 4:09:00 AM

Jan, I particularly love the last line. At least we still know why we're on this site. You have a wonderful sense of humor and a giving heart and soul. That makes us really lucky to have you here. Take care and smiles!!

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/11/2025 1:16:00 PM

Some funny lines in this one, which I can really relate to. It's horrible to have all this new stuff happen before age 70. My mom never had real problems till late into her 80's. I wonder how her daughters all got so screwed up! geeez.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/11/2025 1:34:00 PM

pure tongue in cheek for me of course Andrea - well i wont admit to anything will I lol. I wasn't sure Constance would find my theme fitted beautiful or deep and dark so i was thrilled to be on the winners list:-) hugs jan xx

Subimal Sinha-Roy

Date: 6/10/2025 11:11:00 PM

The travails of old age are very nicely portrayed, many would relate, no doubt. Gtreat write, Jan. Congratulations.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/11/2025 1:32:00 PM

thanks Subimal:-) hugs Jan xx

Saivi Kurian

Date: 6/10/2025 8:51:00 PM

Hello Jan, I'm so impressed with your poem! Congratulations on winning the poetry contest.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/11/2025 1:31:00 PM

thanks so much Saivi:-) hugs jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 6/10/2025 11:48:00 AM

- Congratulations on your win in the contest, Jan ... love your quote and photo - The poem has many aging signs but written with humor ... excellent mix :) - hugs

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 6/10/2025 11:15:00 AM

Congratulations on your win. I love your fun write with great pictures. FAV for me.... Have a blessed day with your wonderful win.......

Jan Allison
Date: 6/11/2025 1:31:00 PM

thanks Paula especially for the fave!:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 6/9/2025 4:39:00 PM

Well done. The old people often would silemtly grin, knowing the secret of old age, careful to cross one’s legs so it wouldn’t slip. Hugs-a-bunch

Jan Allison
Date: 6/11/2025 1:30:00 PM

thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

Janice Canerdy

Date: 6/9/2025 11:18:00 AM

GREAT limericks, Jan! Yep, might as well laugh about aging; we cannot stop it. Janice

Jan Allison
Date: 6/9/2025 11:31:00 AM

agreed Janice! thanks for dropping by:-) hugs Jan xx

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 6/9/2025 9:29:00 AM

I'm old and have problems. But nothing like yours. Hugs.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/9/2025 9:36:00 AM

thanks for dropping by Victor, I did put a disclaimer that my poem is purely tongue in cheek - well mostly lol:-) hugs Jan xx

JCB Brul

Date: 6/9/2025 4:46:00 AM

"embrace with a dollop of humour" plus a cup of tea , Jan.:) thanks for the wisdom shared. I am no longer afraid of getting older. ^____^ JCB

Jan Allison
Date: 6/9/2025 4:52:00 AM

of course its just written from observation she says a little too quickly lol:-) hugs jan xx

Tania Kitchin

Date: 6/9/2025 3:32:00 AM

Jan, this is so well penned and hilarious. Best of luck in the contest. -hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 6/9/2025 3:36:00 AM

Thanks Tania, it was fun to write, not sure if it will float Constance's boat as its not deep and dark but hopefully she will consider it 'beautiful' poetry ! hugs Jan xx

Maurice Rigoler

Date: 6/9/2025 2:54:00 AM

Some of YOUR problems from aging, Jan, I also have. Thankfully I'm not a female! / Maurice

Jan Allison
Date: 6/9/2025 3:35:00 AM

LOL thanks Maurice:-) hugs jan xx

Arlo Parker

Date: 6/8/2025 7:29:00 PM

Delightfully too close to truth!!!!! :o)

Jan Allison
Date: 6/9/2025 3:35:00 AM

I'm glad you can relate Arlo - i admit to nothing lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer

Date: 6/8/2025 3:28:00 PM

hey jan! it's wonderful if you can laugh about getting older - i guess that's the best choice we have - and you have done a fine job of getting us to giggle instead of being depressed about it!

Jan Allison
Date: 6/9/2025 3:34:00 AM

Thanks Ilene I am so pleased you dropped by to read this i thought it would make you smile! hugs jan xx

Lin Lane

Date: 6/8/2025 1:56:00 PM

Interjecting humor... is that available in a syringe of medicine that can take a few years off of us, Jan? I'm not suffering from most of those yet, thank goodness!

Jan Allison
Date: 6/8/2025 2:31:00 PM

Thanks for the smiles Lin, Not sure about a magic anti aging potion but we definitely need an injection of humour into soup as its pretty rancid of late and we are not the only ones who are noticing:-) hugs Jan xx

Beryl Edmonds

Date: 6/8/2025 1:42:00 PM

Jan, that so funny, it’s really helped to lighten my mood. I repeat myself all the time, all the time… Beryl

Jan Allison
Date: 6/8/2025 1:49:00 PM

Thanks Beryl, I am SO glad iI made you smile, of course its purely tongue in cheek humour and none of it applies to me lol, of course its purely tongue in cheek humour and none of it applies to me lol. I've got to laugh as getting older isn't fun at times. I know my poem isnt dark/ beautiful but I hope the sponsor likes it. we need more humour in our lives and on soup! hugs Jan xx