The silence that envelops,
Only when peaceful,
When my heart is full enough to sleep,
Filled with the newest memories.
They are sported like new technology,
Not so limited, but loved and invested.
And I do not even dwell if I am loved because it is known.
I love them, and the word,
Love,
Is not used flippantly like those around me.
It is purer than life itself,
And it travels across my body,
Intravenous in the way is swallows me whole.
And there is no word known better to describe my obsession.
Who cares if I may see them everyday,
That their names will always remain on my mind,
All I care is that my heart still beats enough
To see them everyday.
Their laughs, hugs, nervous touches, smiles,
Gazes and dependency, it drives my heart as if
It were laced with nicotine.
Because they make me smile,
Among little in the world that is happy,
They are like pre-made lunches and fresh carnations,
Like sunflowers and washed clothes,
So clean and genuine.
Things I would have taken for granted,
I now cherish every second, because I love them.
I still remember your easily smiling face, poetry spilling from your lips
Singing joyfully at the dead of night, not a care in the world.
Oh how I miss your face when it was alive,
When it was not hardened, frozen,
unfeeling.
Was it God’s love what drove yours away?
For what reason does the Sun rise; rousing this cold star?
Was it for this the bullets flew? Was England worth
Stealing your innocence away, carelessly, flippantly,
selfishly?
Our country is filthy with ignorance, the front clean and pure,
Snowy white feather mocking, girls giggling gallantly,
Surprise when I snarl, stumble back; shocked.
The Soldier's uniform staves off the dove,
its curse.
Desperately lingering in your gaze, I search in the abyss,
The most loving part of you asleep, or dead.
Nothing I can do can make it stir, still I reach for you,
Ragged, scarred skin, they’re only remnants of your service,
my dear.
The jolt of terror evoked not from your maimed face,
One side ripped, gouged of recognition, eye mangled,
But from the other, undamaged pupil unmoving,
Emotions missing, heart agape, your brain stone,
Empty.
adverbs dress up ordinary verbs
easily, quickly, confidently,
jokingly, suspiciously, cagily,
demurely, purely, delicately,
deliberately, justifiably, undeniably,
jubilantly, whimsically flippantly
they may be my favorite parts of speech
We see ourselves unimpeded initially
Some are stricken with a view artificially
We are told by others very specifically
There is a ceiling so proceed timidly
We try in vain with no support futilely
As we age blazing the path dizzily
Sometimes we see the results dismally
Eventually we learn to climb skillfully
We began to achieve sufficiently
Eventually finding success brilliantly
Living life with dreams so vividly
Sadly, a haunting voice still speaks flippantly
Reminding us of the ceiling frigidly
We remain in the arena mistily
Each overcautious step taken judicially
We endure the voice shouting viciously
The battle to continue is done willfully
Rise - arise
Maybe this depression
Was simply a repression
Of my freedom of expression,
Especially when my thoughts
Descend and turn into should and ought.
Maybe I’m scared of the commotion
Of my boring or wild emotions
And my deep longing
For connection and belonging.
I’ve tried to break free
But mostly, feel lost at sea.
I’ve known my prisons
And maze of divisions
And dark tunnel
Where all I seem to do
Is crawl and stumble.
In my despair
I suddenly notice something:
Yes over there,
A small candle of hope
And a mountain rope
That I seemed to have missed
Or, flippantly dismissed.
And as I slowly climb
I look down and find
In the light of the sun,
The ashes of all the work I have done
And the sprouts of the seeds
Of the life I chose.
I gasp as the wind blows
Away, the last ghosts of the shadows
Of who I once was,
Because
The distance shows me - at last
The man I am, is becoming more and more
Free from the past.
© Sangeet Portals, 01.2023
He was a Mean Scout,
This showing with a pout,
His Upper Lip and The Lower out:
Just finer than a pig’s snout!
He was a Coarse Scout,
Readiness showing for a bout,
With knees at the mercy of gout;
An eagerness to a rival rout!
But should a well-groomed scout
The slogans of The Rash tout;
An integrity leave in doubt;
Shoulders rub with a lout…
Sacrosanct rules of scout
Flippantly flout?
When failure hits you hard,
you realise you have played all your cards.
Stuck in a room with just yourself,
you inner voice filled with hatred can turn you deaf.
Time that's passed makes you guilty.
The achievements of others makes you feel filthy.
Standing on the edge you realise what you lost,
you fret every second for the opportunity you flippantly tossed.
The smile you give camouflaging your sadness is ephemeral,
it's followed by a night which leaves you devasted and vulnerable.
You are daunted by the future and its uncertainty.
You look out of the window remorsefully.
You wonder will life ever give you another chance?
Will you forever be stuck at this mediocrity or will you ever advance?
There's this feeling inside you which makes you feel worthless.
You try to shut it but you are helpless.
Self love seems like an imaginary concept.
Optimism seems something you cannot accept.
My tunnel has turned into a maize with no light at the end.
I am too exhausted to keep smiling and pretend.
Fruitful faeries flying freshly frightenly faraway
Flashing flea-bitten furry fireflies fantasy fey,
Faux flash-dancing flowery figs flowing flippantly free,
Ferocious fierce foursome fruit-flies flying fantasy’s flea.
Fast-fingered flicker formidably frugally fit flexible.
Frosting frilly flounder’s fluorescent fetish fully fixable.
Fanciful freckled fathomably frosted filly fibs flitting,
Fashionable forcefully fanatical farmhand fuzzily fretting.
Fun-loving, flippant foolhardy fivefold finger’s foghorn.
Fooled fellow’s fervent fleecy foppish fire fuzzily forlorn.
Fantastical fanged frolicking fishy fuzzy fickle frills.
Fixes froggy’s fanciful fanned fox figs from freezing Frankfort.
They entered my mind at four a.m.
An hour past their usual witching hour.
Adjectives arrived first.
Dashing, sparkly, dimpled, dynamic, melodious, mercurial.
By five I have created six poems.
Adverbs are still dancing in my head
Begging for poem numbers seven and eight.
Cautiously, flippantly, studiously, meticulously, joyously.
Hey! What about a monorhyme?
Maybe one, but another time.
On a roll of a silver dime.
Good grief. Does this stanza completely rhyme!
Suggestions in my word play brain
Get put on paper pretty fast.
Trixie has an assistant now.
And they keep busy too.
I hold on tightly
Out of sight-ly.
As they do
Word play
Stuff
I have a strange malady
curiously effecting me
for I am very susceptible
to words of a variety
Words like cushlamachree
or hobbledehoy
give me such joy...
that my brain begins burbling
at a fantastic rate
things like bamboozle, bumfuzzle
blatteroon, and bombinate!
Bogged down in boondoggled
bedraggled, beware
I'm not making sense
and I really don't care!
Gushing galoot, galumph, galore
something inside crying
more, More, MORE!!!
I'm an insatiable verbavore!
Flippantly tripping through
flibbertigibbet, flumadiddle
filipendulous to the stupendous
sounds of mellifluous eutony
I am getting so tongue-tied here
my mouth is in mutiny!
But, oh my Dearie-
there's whigmaleerie
wifty, whimsical...
mugwump, moppet
words keep wheeling through my head
'though silly, I can't stop it!
For there's slubberdegullion
mollycoddle, hobgoblin
and gumption, too!
With all the splendiferous words about...
what's a logoleptic to do?
There she is…
Hopping lightly from branches of
Each tree she rests on.
She is taking the day flippantly
Unworried, gently flipping thru’ the ruffling day
No matter what happens, even when things go
Beyond expectation of sweet bitterness
In dawn sorrow before dusk happiness
Rocketing up to the sky, and finally
Down again to the earth, gently, lightly.
(2013)
Come little vixen queen and know this day
your time of rule has ended I do say.
Once you did reign in deed and sweet tongue so,
this my allegiance I no longer owe.
When we had no bread you said flippantly,
“ s’il vous plaît” let “hoi palloi” eat some cake.
“pour l’amour de dieux”, brief remark did rake
our souls with you responding puerilely
Your dome will roll soon by sharp Guillotine,
a retribution for dire rotting scene.
Admire your jewels, brightly how they do shine,
the stones are nice, some glow red, others green,
recline upon settee, enjoy your wine,
today could be last you will ever dine.
Life ripples;
my conviction is a lie.
It lies
because I walk out
among hallucinations
and over my body lies
the send-off flies,
oh, farewell,
my lovely; my unwell,
you were never wise
until I despised the sterling
the fire
goes haywire
ugly hospital green
and when I'm feeling mean
I laugh at the lines between
feeling shredded
in a wood chipper
La Vie en Rose
a look that bestows
The Apartment,
my disappearance when you go,
and will my dreams
ever burst at the seams
in this realm
where what we flippantly deem
only a temporary stream
will one day be more than the perfect scene?
They stole my heart
When I was not look
Then they tortured it
And stamped all over it
Until it stopped beating
All love was to them
Was four little letters
That was thrown about
Almost flippantly
They came
They went
With absolutely no
Idea of what they took
From me
But i summoned courage
To love and to trust again
Just like Maya Angelou, still I Rise
And OH I realized that it is wise to whisper
The letters L.O.V.E to bring my heart
ALIVE.
Perhaps my old heart was lacking
But now the new one is humble& Happy
Looking back i can finally understand
That i was guided by a loving hand
Telling me "You won't break
Because you are learning how to bend"
Then i knew only LOVE can mend
I have a new heart
It is called COURAGE, the courage to Love
Eric Mbotiji... PEACE.
Pondering from perch the other day,
a thought grew as two conversed.
Addendum to what you have to say,
gives quarter to him, sacred cursed.
Utterances,hurtful, make others tense.
Apathetically dissuaded with "no offense".
In a tandem embraced scene
fearful men wage war with a word.
Cutting low, they boast and preen,
stating jest to cover what's slurred.
Wringing anguish, anger invoke.
Flippantly stating it "was just a joke".
Insecure ego's infesting pride,
spitting frozen nouns, verbs of acid.
Empty friendships, unwanted guide.
Destruction complete of spirit placid.
Pleading personality and decision.
Haughty pretense. Mocking derision.
-Angel Fatale-
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