Confessions of a Failure

When failure hits you hard, you realise you have played all your cards. Stuck in a room with just yourself, you inner voice filled with hatred can turn you deaf. Time that's passed makes you guilty. The achievements of others makes you feel filthy. Standing on the edge you realise what you lost, you fret every second for the opportunity you flippantly tossed. The smile you give camouflaging your sadness is ephemeral, it's followed by a night which leaves you devasted and vulnerable. You are daunted by the future and its uncertainty. You look out of the window remorsefully. You wonder will life ever give you another chance? Will you forever be stuck at this mediocrity or will you ever advance? There's this feeling inside you which makes you feel worthless. You try to shut it but you are helpless. Self love seems like an imaginary concept. Optimism seems something you cannot accept. My tunnel has turned into a maize with no light at the end. I am too exhausted to keep smiling and pretend.