He saw a gap in the market,
Knew he'd found a niche
Got the idea at Scarborough
From donkey rides on the beach.
Camel treks from Whitby
Going the scenic way
Following the coastal road
On to Robin Hood's Bay.
The very place where, if
Local legend had it right,
Mr Hood and the Vikings
Had a very dirty fight.
He advertised on the Internet
Pretty sure there would be
A plethora of investors
All as Foresighted as he.
He checked his e mail hourly,
Couldn't understand why
After forty three days
Not received a single reply.
He sent the camels back to Qatar
After a very drastic rethink
Then devoted his life to
The Pursuit of strong drink.
You can find him by Donny station
A sight to make you weep
As he rattles his tin can
Begging for his keep.
There's a moral to this story.
Always look for the hitch:
Though better than the alternative,
Life at times can be a bloody .
I've been going through old love letters of how we used to be.
The silly, inconsequential things you used to write to me
about nothing in particular, the mundane, the everyday, the norm.
But that Basildon Bond decorated with Quink used to give a form
to the feelings inside as your fountain pen cried, words rambling over the page.
To tear at my heart because we were apart imprisoned in our cage
of distance, and the persistence of melancholia's hurting
the only respite in spite of all, your banality and girlish flirting.
But now we've come to the here and now to emoticons and text speak.
To the short, terse text that can leave us vexed and the torment that they wreak.
Our language debased to contracted words, mis-spelled and appalling grammar.
Misconstrued meanings, tech speak and gleanings from Twitter, Face Book and Spammer.
Anticipating the postman, the sound of the letterbox, the excitement of opening your letter.
Now all we have is the e.mail wav., much quicker I grant you, but better?
Call me old fashioned, a Luddite if you must, or even a pen and paper fanatic.
But for all my ranting, there's something enchanting about finding old letters in the attic.
All hail
E mail
You realize
That you can criticize
Because you cant see
Me
You will say anything next
On your anonymous texts
You don't care if we look
At your facebook
And the hate you spew
Because we will never meet you
You can insult, demean and lie
For your cyber courage is high
I just wonder when
Integrity will return again
Awakening from "Slavery in Egypt"
I head downstairs to check my e - mail
and eat a free breakfast
My stomach satisfied
I pick up a pen and write an ode
Poetry grows on the fabled Lower East Side
Where my grandparents came
when they fled attacking Cossacks
and took flight to the USA
and one of my grandmothers
was in the Emma Lazarus club
Take that, Trump!
The other day I was reading my e-mails;
And some one sent me a read;
And I’m not for sure, but I believe;
I received a bowl of Oh! Oh’s!
Woe is me;
You see someone;
Put some cat fish in my soup;
Over and over again;
Minimum three times the same day;
Kept telling me... HI!
With missed spelled words;
And a beautiful picture of her;
Don’t really know what she wants;
A little nerves I got too little to possibly lose a lot;
So I stood back and didn’t eat it (the soup) e mail communicate;
Have you heard someone has served me catfish in my soup;
I don’t like letters in my soup;
I write words of wisdom, and truths;
Some are funny, some fiction and nonfiction;
I am a poet, writer, artist not trying to be a victim;
So I’d blocked the attractive writer, in essence I don’t wanna be bothered;
Someone give me a hug, and some positive love
And please, please, please don’t give me no more catfish in my soup;
Be open and honest if you wanna talk to me;
So that together we’ll together be full of victory;
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2019©
I received an exciting soup mail
I’m minted, with wealth off the scale
But I know it’s a fraud
By some bloke from abroad
These fraudster’s should be put in jail
Got a call from a ‘Microsoft’ guy*
His fake story I did not buy
Said he’d turn off my ‘puter
And re-route my router
He told me just lie after lie
These scammers just want a quick buck
They try to find a sitting duck
They’re after our money
It sure isn’t funny
Their unscrupulous actions just suck
We have had several calls from 'Microsoft' saying our computer is at risk and they can help protect us ... I just put the phone down on them. Unfortunately an elderly friend of ours got taken in by their persistence and when it got to the you need to give us your bank account details part he realised it was a scam and wouldn't give his details but he had inadvertently given them access to remote control his PC and they put a password on it so he couldn't get into his files. It took my hubby several hours to sort out, remove the software programme they were using to control the PC and get the computer back to him so he could use it.
7/7/18
I’ve got a secret to tell you, so gather round to hear
I had afternoon tea with the Queen in May this year
Her majesty was wearing a dress of bright emerald green
When she walked in the room she looked so serene
A corgi puppy bounded in and sat down on her knee
The Queen was perfectly poised whilst she sipped her tea
We nibbled cucumber sandwiches with the crusts removed
I didn’t drop a crumb on the red carpet, I hope her Majesty approved!
We talked at length about my poetry
Her majesty asked ‘could you recite one for me’
I smiled and recited an old limerick or two
The Queen then asked for a poem that was new
How could I refuse a request from the Queen like that
So I made up a poem about the corgi chasing the cat
Oh how the Queen laughed and smiled with glee
She decreed me to be the writer of royal poetry
So now I e mail her majesty every single day
My poems are read to the Queen by her valet
I’m an official royal poet and I am so excited
I hope it won’t be too long before I get knighted
Contest Tell a tall tale Sponsored by Jesse Day
07~03~16
Tail moves the dog or dog moves the tail ?
Who moves faster than Carol's e mail?
Who knows the recipe of relativity soup?
What is the blood group of Becky's latest scoop?
Who wins the battle of Xomba in Galaxy 3?
Who catches a butterfly in the woods of Innisfree ?
Who goes to west when east sleeps on feast?
Who cries like a cucumber when she is kissed?
Who builds a yellow villa on the cloud nine?
Who writes" I Love You" on Cindy's credit line?
Who milks a honeybee to make the Pandora cheese?
Who chases a Spanish lion in the Chinese seas?
Andrea knows the answers she is the poet of all
She burns the oil of moon after a sundae nightfall.
1.Revealing regimented forsaking is
determination of books
2.Accounting ascetic conceit is
odd as dead.
3.Renouncing, computing creation and
destruction is noble.
4.Controlling sense- organs by knowledge
considered blissful seed.
5.Killing desires of sense-organs
skilled as Iconoclast.
6.Great perform rare noble
deeds inferior fails.
7.Prudent, realizing five senses
command the earth.
8.Greatness is exposed by
his metaphysical language
9.Short incensing save not
the hilly virtuous.
10.Altruist performs charity of
cherishing earthly beings.
------------------------------------
Dedicated to Thiruvalluvar, the author in Tamil
Translated by S.Kandasamy, MUSIRI, TAMILNADU,INDIA
Published in poetrysoup.com on 3-12-13
E mail s.kandasamy@hotmail.com
As the old proverb prevails, " love comes unexpectedly"
hyperthetically speaking,exactly what happened to me
hurting decieving initially, then having to lay my cards
ending an eight year relationship,unspeakably so hard.
A feeling of selfishness,that i needed to explain
to make her see true love i found,obviously causing pain
i didn`t jump in to this,with my blinkers on
knowing that the pain inflicted, was definately wrong
But looking back in hindsight,i wouldn`t change a thing
the love,happiness and caring is what my Skinbob brings
i didn`t really get a chance, to put across the full tail
i had to explain the full issue over in an e mail.
I have no regrets at all,i did find my soulmate
we`ll be together forever,with memories to create
inseperable together,our siblings flown the nest
now i will do my utmost, to give my love the best.
Frank Herrera`s
Contest Name The CrossRoads of your Life
I AM NOW AN OPTIMISTIC MYSTIC
I’m doing better than when we were together
The universe has granted me delicate weather
Today I can laugh at the mistake you made
For today for a thousand tomorrows I wouldn’t trade
Life is easier without the doubt of loving you
And it’s like my soul is hovering above the blue
Just like an angel with wings that never molt
And my body is always a safe distance from a lightening bolt
In the morning I awake with a smile because you left
And to think others believed I’d be left bereft
But that’s because they didn’t know the you I knew
As my body is still hovering beyond the blue
So life for you can be rich but I don’t care
Because I no longer have to suffer you being unfair
You can be donning diamonds, mink and imported Italian leather
Because I’m doing better today then when we were together
© 2010.…..free cee!
The Plane Crash
By Elton Camp
A plane has gone down.
No relatives can be found.
Millions in the bank account.
Truly an astonishing amount
All will go to the state.
For money, a sorry fate.
I’d rather it goes to you.
Just send me a share too
Notify that you now accept.
Then the money can be kept.
First send me a little data.
Nothing I ask will matter.
What’s your occupation?
Resident of what nation?
Address of your e mail
Send to me without fail.
Your own street address?
Then you will have success
In getting this vast sum.
It will very quickly come.
Oh, I and can’t forget to say
That a cash fee you must pay
Your bank number send along.
Receive this wealth for a song.
I work at the Bank of Nigeria.
My motives are not ulterior.
We just truly love to share
With rich Americans over there
It is good to leave a note, or even write a book
The more the better for someone to find
So that they won't get lost or have a single clue
And stumble around in the dark and not know where to look
Otherwise not knowing, they will go out of their mind
Or will not know what to do
Like a map, when taking a vacation
Following a trail of bread crumbs so to speak
To know where you were yesterday
Whether or not you made it to your destination
Can find you in a matter of minutes or hours, instead of a week
Really it is the only way
You never know in today's world that we live in
It is not as safe as it was yesterday
There is danger out there all over the place
You never know just who will do you in
And if things should go astray
They can find you in some far off place
It is better than finger prints, or even DNA
And easy way to let people know
Easy on the internet, just send an e mail
Let love ones and friends know when you plan to go away
Or where you were at, the truth will show
Click of the Mouse, leave a paper trail
I tried to join,
Give critics review,
For the poem I read,
It went a skew,
Tried to submit,
Just what I thought,
But it errored out,
And all was naught.