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This three-piece limerick captures universal struggle for one’s identity. How the masks (vain emblems/hats we wear) eventually alienate us from who we truly are.
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I never failed to flaunt my vain emblem
That I wore long years to hide who I am,
Therefore the man I was
For long was held in pause,
And now I scarce know from what roots I stem.
Now, were I to meet him, say in a lift,
I wonder, should I doff my hat or lift.
This dilemma’s dingdong
Has stayed with me for long,
And with this odd impasse in life I drift.
The bell then rings, the heavy doors swing free,
I drop my hat and face the man I see.
I step out of the box,
Unlocking all my locks,
And simply walk away as ah, real me!
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Reflections | 05.02.2009 revised in September 2026|
Freely admit am more than a bit of a Test cricket junkie
VIP pass doff for punky class of Bazball’s start so spunky
Revel in rocking devil may care peacocking flair so funky
But when stuttered became rather cluttered and clunky
Then Ben not with his men again is still a cheeky monkey
Iffy getting squiffy forgot curfew & in a jiffy all got gunky
Palaver in a lather farce of toff ECB job & gob of slob Key
Smelt wrong the pong not dope has felt old school skunky
Hunky stallion did quaff the trough now rapscallion donkey
Scoff not bob on plunky fob off dob em in for being a flunky
Got a cob on Baz a show off ar*e & Rob chubby and chunky
Sob should burn on the hob as each other’s jail bit*h bunkie
Turn the door k*ob in lob Baz & Bob then Ben lose the key
A monorhyme is just a crime they despair
Their hat won’t doff “cat sat on a mat” affair
From the off they will scoff it’s got no flair
No not sublime they chime our nightmare
Snare all Pam Ayres heirs and try to scare
Stare at the fare then flare the pages tear
How very dare you from your pedants chair
Must be unfair have a big dig from their lair
Rare to wind me up unless you are Tony Blair
Don’t ensnare but spare this pastime I share
Views from pews can air but just don’t care
Will swear don’t be f**king clucking square
It’s not the tortoise more poise like the hare
Supercilious ploys make me bilious go spare
Hey nonny no.. love the bonny flow so there!
Cooey have you heard the word on the streets 8 hours of absurd beats
Doff hat to old school cool cat rule in the hot seat sat every tune just phat
Over the moon we swoon legends croon only a buffoon lampoon’s the boon
Phew we hiss lost you and didn’t have a scooby doo how to cope without you
Heaven or Evan's sent hell bent to be the main event a magical musical present
Give Chris a kiss knew we’d miss the dope bliss did feed our need for more you
Like the thriller in Manila not a scintilla of filler just another bassline flotilla
No fraud or clanger all banger the concorde of chords roared in our hangar
Mr Morgan on the soundtrack tiller our melody miller our weekend’s pillar
Won’t get too gooey eyes wet a little dewy guys prime time to tell your friends
Can’t go wrong sound the gong funkier than cartoon loon Hong Kong Fuey
Every gambit & skit en song ding dong laced with wit from his Sunday pulpit
Brassy every pundit knows the culprit could only be Huey you’ll like it..stay classy
Oh, to swing from jungle trees,
Mother Nature's flying trapeze.
I'd doff my shirt, my pants, my tie,
and to the Amazon I'd fly,
where I would gladly make avail
of my own prehensile tail.
Of all the folks you know who makes you smile?
Jokes that stokes strokes your soul for a while
In a poll who would stroll to the top of the pile
Which peeps we love heaps leaps over the stile
Candour so rich scratches that itch does beguile
Hatches humour that does bewitch off the dial
Fresh as glacial air their rare own homegrown style
Another year of more sneers tears jeers than cheers
Can't rile never a bit*h even if the subject of vile bile
Alana our nirvana she can handle any scandal or trial
Religion worthwhile Fezz would walk her up the aisle
A good witch you are the best gal & pal.. no denial
As magical wonderful as the winding spellbinding Nile
You’re blinding (London lingo) doff our hat
To maybe the coolest cat that we’ve met yet
On this Isle.. let's begin with your cheeky grin
Which is why you win the bet by a country mile
Awe & shock bowlers in the dock our warlock & glock “the judge”
Rapscallion and stallion wrangling with dangling golden medallion
Facing the pacing battalion on our latest sinking Caribbean galleon
Our burly oracle with each follicle so curly a rock that won't budge
In that 90’s dungeon Robin our classy curmudgeon brassy bludgeon
Truncheon fine dining on a hurly burly Courtenay & Curtly luncheon
Calms alarms and qualms delivers us from harm with stoic heroic psalms
Call to arms more like baobabs than palms those offside charms “the Judge”
Speedsters scary & lairy others wary prime time for our hairy chest fairy
Robin our pace Pontiff willow ace not a whiff or a riff or sniff of what if
Believers in his jobbing levers will go biff in any tiff that's the pith of Smith
Not just a county squire but quite possibly the ultimate Hampshire Sire
Calling card hit it so hard earned the fable label of both BATman & Robin
Hall of fame name can’t smudge hats doff to a complete one off “the Judge”
So do we scoff or doff our hats
To those fat cats with the bats
If they're playing on flat mats
Cult pacts ignore facts & stats
Those bros who chose phat tatts
Bazball scribes with cool vibes scat
Imbibe tribes habit rabbit out of hats
Enjoying or cloying annoying as gnats
Media rats jibes in tit for tat spats
Drat all Bazball brats bribes just tatt
Chit chat that they're just lazy prats
Tw*ts that go bust as crazy as bats
Clowns meltdown or doubles down pat
Unjust if lust thrust through hazy slats
Rat tat & rat a tat tat must be all that!
The premise goes everyone knows
before entering the premises
while still outside yet on the mat
it's no gentleman who forgets
to doff his cap or remove his hat
if dining out or at a private party
for a particular person
it's impolite at most
to sip slurp or slink a drink
before the toast to a hospitable host
and when beside the table laden
confronted by the salsa bowl
biting then re-dipping chips
the most unmannerly of all
is he (or she) who double-dips
Varnished Tech Titans
Tattered totems tarnished
Viral tribal bible spiral
Tainted talismans taunted
Cash cows flaunted
Gerontocracy trumps democracy
Theocracy stumps hypocrisy
Autocracy dumps diplomacy
Haunted schism prism
Vaunted Fat Cats
Enigma?…just
Dogma & Stigma
Tit for Tats
Martian Martial law
Doff your hats
To techno-*wats
And petro-*rats
Deplore or Encore?
Poor Planet in flux
All about the bucks
Ersatz Fat Cats
Well More is More!
The world needs a little
Good news everyday
Just look on the bright side
It's better that way
Kick up your heels
Say howdy my friends
Just smile at a stranger
Your woes you'll transcend
On the verge of disaster
Show them there's hope
To look at this world
Through a much larger scope
It may be contagious
You'll start a new trend
Who knows it might happen
You'll make some new friends
I know that the cynics
Will laugh and they'll scoff
To think that us humans
Past sins we can doff
We've got to start somewhere
So why not right now
The world will stop fighting
And wars disavow
Just call me a dreamer
I welcome that name
Don't need any medals
No fortune or fame
The best compensation
A world filled with joy
Where everyone's happy
And spirits are buoyed
We can't let our efforts
Just end up in vain
We must see a world
Where happiness reigns
It's crucial for us
To succeed in this quest
Else mankind will perish
My case I do rest
What‘s better than a biscuit?
Hard to debunk
Treasure trunk funk
Should you let
It get wetter
Would you dare risk it?
The trick a quick dunk
Or could flunk..flick..kerplunk..
Mushy chunk sunk..messy junk
Slushy slunk..in the tea you drunk
So at your leisure
Pleasure one’s self
Don’t regret your stealth
Forget your health
Wealth beset on the shelf
So feeling restive?
Yearn for a digestive?
Appealing…suggestive
No shock..dark choc
What else will cut the mustard
With a brew…for a few bob
Recurring theme..does seem
Will always dream
About a custard cream
Almost sob…as I Lob
A hob-nob in me gob
Ta pour more cha
In fine fettle
Be a slob
Turn on the kettle
Bickies in the jar
On the sofa settle
Sins within tins
Spurn concern
Ignore the racket
As
Hats do doff
Knew from the off
On a roll
The sole goal
Quaff another cuppa
Down your cake hole
Scoff the whole packet!
SELF LOVE
I finally emerged from my hypnotic state
When I’d been scribbling notes to myself
Back in the room was quite a shock to me
Being both in and out of a kind of fantasy
Yet I do recall doubting my mental health
But then saw just what I was told to create
A letter to myself written in my own hand
Expressing a kind of love or so it appeared
A long list of all my otherwise hidden traits
If conscious, it may have tempted the fates
But that analysis seemed to be multi-tiered
And surprising for me, hard to understand
In summary, it said I wasn’t so bad after all
Yet some details were embarrassing in a way
A dream state suggestive of insights so deep
That I’d worry in future of my falling asleep
But some aspects of myself had parts to play
And that sooner or later had to heed the call
Since then, I have thought much about that
Is it better OK, rather than at the extremes
With my true self, I think I’d get along fine
Despite the temptation to step over the line
But of every version of me I’d see in dreams
Would I merely smile and even doff my hat
The Trails of Sanity
Why do I care if the disturber carries on
Why is it I cannot just wait it out, bide my time
Be more mindful, try and bond
Embrace what I don’t understand
Welcome the scorching taste in my mouth
I wait, I watch, and watch and wait
what seems a millennium
The afterglow of embers still burn
Just sit tight…
The day ends with a tug on the swatch
of the backpack, I doff it off my shoulders
I hear the trifles start up once more behind me
As my eyes wander upwards
As the Rigel star taps into my soul
As I surrender inward, a whispering voice
cues consolingly…
Here you are
Mind at ease
Free
In your eyes is the language by true love,
My hat just has to passionately doff,
You responded as if you have dry cough,
Though, to your rejection, my skin is tough.
Your words that I heard were full of wisdom,
To your heart I plead, be in my kingdom,
Your goodness, the right cure for my boredom,
It is then your love will trap my freedom.
Your beauty is planted in my garden,
My mouth is pleading, give my heart pardon,
The words to express my love is hiding,
Most probably you thought I was kidding.
My heart is on my face for you to pry.
Open your eyes, see the tears of my cry,
Feel my tears, you'll see that it could make fries,
Give my love cares before its feeling dries.
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