allow me to introduce to you
a dear friend
may I present The Green Man
we once shared a goblet of mead
inside the head of a nobleman
sometime in the early
thirteenth century
this body,
when has it never been touched?
The sensation of these hungry hands running along my skin
I should have long accepted it or at least grown numb to them
but they still feel as foreign and invasive as the first time
they knead sadistically
but also with twisted gentleness
in a pathetic attempt to get a reaction of pleasure from me
and gratify his ego
I stopped shedding tears long ago
for human mourn a loss
and a loss points to having some kind of worth
but I'm just a hole for -ing
what is there to continue crying over
instead, I moan on cue
a perfect practiced pitch
that sends vibrations throughout his whole body
making him reach completion sooner
for I have more to deals to broker
before the corrupt police come and arrest me
and the morally upstanding wake up to mock
my desperate fight at surviving this pointless existence
As I close my dry, weary reddish eyes,
the daydreams of whence I was not alone
pour forth in an enchanting kaleidoscope
with vast imagery and electrified emotions.
Some the brightest yellow and gold, others
a tawny, deep dark bluish black. But, they're
mine; no one can take them away from me.
A new excursion into old memories begins.
You are to be pitied more than I...perhaps.
I soar above all your innumerable miseries,
partaking within the nature of an angel; for
you've said, my place is not in your sphere.
You have the earth; I have boundless space.
You, enchained below, by a thousand bonds
of your gross, materialistic, in-genuine cruxes.
You attend your religious mass when convenient;
find time to pray only when you want something.
You cannot depart and plunge into a limpid sea
nor travel through the vastness of time and space.
Lost on your arid shores, my mind drinks deep
as I drown in the desert choking on your soul.
The house is empty
Not a home now, just a house
Without you with me
Feels like a bad dream
From which I may not awake
Forever it seems
Your chair is empty
Not there to sit next to me
Just me and TV
Perhaps you’ll come back
To be with me once again
After the attack
You might be yourself
Our house a home once again
Without Monster’s help
You’ll sleep by my side
I will keep you safe at night
All will be alright
The Doppelganger
The Zombie and the Monster
Will be no longer
The Daemon’s legions
Will be exercised for good
To nether regions
Love will conquer all
I will be with you always
I won’t let you fall
I know one thing true
We will fight together, but
It’s hard, missing you…
I am the Zombie
The Monster is my master
He’s the creator
The Zombie I am
Numbed-out, Psycho-extremer
Daemon demeanor
The Zombie I be
Doppelganger controls me
My animator
I be the Zombie
I can be me no longer
While Monster’s stronger
Zombie, Zombie, me
Husband, Wife, Father, Mother
Sister, Friend, Brother…
I, Zombie’s my name
The Monster takes center stage
Rage outside the cage
I go by Zombie
The Doppelganger has me
Once more in the breech
Zombie is my name
It’s my lonely claim to fame
I’m only the same
The Monster’s my frame
And my Daemon knows no shame
As he stakes his claim
Don’t know the reason
Must be their hunting season
Their hounds are legion
Me the Monster stakes
Both my mind and soul it takes
Help me for Heaven’s sake!
Daemon takes human
Doppelganger assumin’
My body through man
There is no saving
As I’m ranting and raving
It’s the proclaiming…
Here I go again
Dancing the Monster’s fancy
Until the curtain
Final curtain call
Chancing all my sanity
Final curtain fall
I went off my meds
Let the Monster out instead
To control my head
Daemon’s back as well
He tells me drinking is swell
As far as I’ll tell
“Five o’clock somewhere”
Daemon whispers in my ear
I unchain him there
Inside this old box
This rude cube contains my brains
Chained and bound with locks
I know not myself
This thing becoming again
I’m damned; I’m in hell
Feeds on what it needs
The killer; the strangler
Of good thoughts and deeds
The mind re-succumbs
Becomes the Doppelganger
Bereft of life, numb
Zombie I've become
Again, like the living dead
Acting, not thinking
All willpower’s lost
Price paid, but greater the cost
Wind swept; tempest tossed
Back on the dread-mill
Mind rerunning the race lost…
Can’t keep my head still
The revisiting
Monster back on the attack
Nothing kills this thing
Daemon’s there as well
Rejoining the dance macabre
Going back to hell
Sinister turning
Echoes the words, “We are back”
Can’t stop returning…
There’s no greater joy
Getting back a loved one lost
Price paid, but no cost
Tactics once employed
By the Monster and his crew
Work no more on you
Healing you have found
You have taken higher ground
Beat the Monster down
Doppelganger’s gone
You will sing no more its song
Do no more its wrong
The Zombie’s shaken
From nightmares you’ve awaken
Conquest hard taken
Daemons exercised
Your life you have taken back
From fiendish attack
Honor highly prized
The ending is now the past
You have won at last!
Sulking in the cage
The monster’s making his plans
To once again rage
Rattling his chains
The daemon waits to regain
Control of your brain
You still must defend
For the Monster lurks, my friend
To return again…
To one’s self admit
I am an alcoholic
I’m bipolar too
Duel diagnosis
If you are, what you know is
Don’t let your guard slip
There’s miles yet to go
Take it one day at a time
And you will survive
This time you have won
But beware of the Daemon
It’s never ‘the end’…
What of family?
Bystanding and withstanding
From outside one’s hell
The helpless feeling
To watch a loved one reeling
Advice for dealing?
Not understanding
Explanation demanding
To them what’s to tell?
Be patient and wait
But this does not satiate
Is this just one’s fate?
What the Monster hates
No relevance to relate
Could it be too late…?
Daemon doesn’t care
As he takes his addict’s share
Zombie isn’t there
The pain in their eyes
As they slowly realize
They’re part of the “why’s”
Is it chemical?
Perhaps psychological?
Diabolical?
Is it DNA?
Or in the ancestral genes?
Will they go away?
Who will get hurt first?
As the Monster does its worst
Quench the Daemon’s thirst
The blank eyes just stare
Can they feel and do they care?
Are they still in there?
Waiting for a sign of hope,
Calling out to the distant ears,
Only to receive these ice cold words of
Reply.
"delivery to the following recipient failed permanently."
No one was left to hear her cries
Signals lost sent so many times,
Love unrequited in the blue tinted void,
And the silence just responded.
"La livraison au destinataire suivant a échoué en permanence"
Forgotten soul at the end of time
Stranded on an empty world,
Trying to make contact to the
Loves she's lost.
And the feedback she got.
"teslîmkirina ji wergirê jêr neket "
Fingers bleed as hope starts
To fade, giving up
No faith of reply
Then, the great finger wrote as thunder spoke.
Over all heathen and divine.
?????? ????? ?? ????? ???????
Pounding
Hammering
Pain
Always in my head
At times there is darkness
A brief relief
From the constant hurt
I feel lost and afraid
Whats happening to me
Why am I tormented
Hated so?
red is the blood fresh dripping from steel
bright is the fire hot stinging to feel
cold is the grave of he who was king
dark is the future that hangs on a string
brave is the warrior taking up arms
sharp is the blade shiny sleek it alarms
bold in demeanor and bolder in tongue
die here today? he is far too young!
horned is the crown corrupted by men
short is the peace when the daemon is dead
strong is the power on top of his head
long live the king! nay! the daemon again!
a cycle rehearsed through the poets of time
the bad king is dead and the good king arrives
but we are but mortals and imperfect are we
corruption slinks in like sap from a tree
Startled I see my dream again tonight
Awaking from within me deepest fright
Creeping from out my misty eyed slumber
The beast inside me began to lumber
Catching myself in front of the mirror
Your eyes beside me, your shrieks of terror
Wax smelt courage, your trigger finger slight
Now you see me in a different light
Soft moonlighted skin dotted with twin holes
For my ravens guide me to sinful souls
Now conjuring up your holy spirits
Refuse you the truth because you fear it
And yet again I wake a lonely Knight
My dear, come here, promise I won't bite
Sitter of the wee,
titan tamer of babies...
let them scream, cry, and drool
I cannot be uncool-ed.
Tick-tock the hours by and by,
as terror this child may try...
armed with diapers and wipes
we learn potty 101.
Pee in the tub,
poo he smears and rubs...
on the floor; in the trash,
count to 10 think of the cash.
Give me, I want, now, no,
how they demand so...
tantrum if I do not comply
deep breaths I shall not cry!
Flinging pea's, splashing potatoe's,
like a mashed tornado...
almost time to go to bed
at least that's what the mother said.
Sweet silent relief,
rest so very brief...
oh the daemon wails
away I go to re-sing him tales.
Jingle jangle of keys,
I jump and prance with glee...
parents return finally
away quickly I flee.
Never again shall I brag,
of taming the wee devil...
as I shrink back in vain
when I hear his wee baby name.
3/4/14
He always knocks on my door
same old line that I abhor
You have failed did not get through
"Stuff it Pal, no one asked you"!