Chuffed Poems

Berts Stag Night

Sitting upside down in the car
On its roof and well concealed
By the hedge it just leapt to
Land upside down in this field
The lesson being learned 
When going round a bend
Trying  to pick up a ciggie
Can cause unfortunate end

It seemed all quite peaceful
In an ending somehow right
To what had been a memorable
And very worthy Stag Night.
Deciding to respond to 
The penetrating shout
Of are you all alright 
We decided to climb out.

Good Lord but I’m chuffed
This beery voice said
I saw you jump the hedge
And I though you were dead.
We stood around  a while
For a laugh and a joke 
Each one of us enjoying 
A much needed smoke.

Can I give you a lift he said
It’s the least I can do
I can’t wait for the police
‘Cos I’ve been drinking  too.
A country road mid 1960’s
A cold and bitter night
Isolated and deserted and
Not a person or house in sight.

So he drove us back to Bert’s place
Which wasn’t really very far
And Bert had to wake and tell his dad
That he’d gone and crashed his car.
A good solid early1960’s model
And although we got a bad fright
I think that’s what helped us all survive
The rigours and vigours of Bert’s Stag Night

Tears Never Learn

Tears flow whenever I see your photo,
Whenever I read you letters
in the tiny tin I've kept from so long ago.
Whenever I touch the ring on my finger,
which is such a lovely memento of our everlasting love.

Your memories are everywhere, around me.
In the songs you loved to hear.
In the garden you loved so dear.
In the sunrise yellow and clear.
In the sunset chuffed with cheer.

The tears come of their own accord,
Involuntarily and without warning.
Up they well into my eyes and begin
"To weep the tears that never learn"
to say goodbye!

When will tears ever learn?
When will tears ever learn
to say goodbye?

-----
Chosen Line #1

The Bacon Thief

"Grab it", said Bob rabbit, 
And went hop, hop, 
The bacon was taken, 
From the meat shop, 

The cops pulled all the stops, 
To catch grub thief, 
They searched for bunny smirched, 
To Bob's great grief, 

He hopped until he dropped, 
With fatigue sheer, 
His bacon forsaken, 
Ran off in fear, 

Jack got his bacon back, 
Thanked the police, 
Chuffed that Bob's work was muffed, 
Gave each a piece. 


8th April 2023


inspired by Andrea Dietrich's Footles

Meat Market Robbery
Bacon 
Taken

Pickpocket Bunny
Grab it
Rabbit




For Margarita Lillico's "Find Your PS Muse" contest

Thank You

Today started happily,
For this chuffed Old Duck
When she looked at Poetry Soup
She could not believe her luck
She was the poet of the day
Can you imagine that?
She was so surprised and pleased.
She waddled, and she quacked.
She fluffed up her feathers,
And dusted her beak
Still quacking loudly
As she sat down on a seat.
She picked up her pen,
Because she wanted to write
To her Poetry Soup friends,
To show her delight,
On her win of the poet of the day
Now cannot find the words to say.
Thank you, in an Old Duck way
So I will quack adieu
With sincere, heartfelt, Thanks to you.

PS This is one of those times 
when words are not enough.
Take care, Shirley

Unfinished Excerpt

Sitting upside down in the car
On its roof and well concealed
By the hedge it just leapt to
Land upside down in this field
The lesson being learned, 
When going round a bend
Trying to pick up a ciggie
Can cause unfortunate end.

It seemed all quite peaceful
In an ending somehow right
To what had been a memorable
And very worthy long Stag Night.
Deciding to respond to 
The penetrating shout
Of are you all alright 
We decided to climb out.

Good Lord but I’m chuffed
This beery voice said
I saw you jump the hedge
And I though you were dead.
We stood around  a while
For a laugh and a joke
Each one of us enjoying 
A much needed smoke.

Can I give you a lift he said
It’s the least I can do
I can’t wait for the police
‘Cos I’ve been drinking  too.
A country road mid 1960’s
A cold and bitter night
Isolated and deserted and
Not a person or house in sight.

No such things as mobile phones,
No real need for the police to know
So by mutual consent we decided
It was a good time as any for us to go,
So he drove us back to Bert’s place
Which wasn’t really very far
And Bert had to wake and tell his dad
That he’d gone and crashed his car.

In a Split Second

In a split second, life can be snuffed
Unforeseen events cause misery
Why this is so, ‘tis a great mystery
Of such our lives are suitably stuffed
None of us should ever be bluffed
Accidents are main features of history.
In a split second,
The role of accidents is often sloughed
We are victims of information trickery,
Believing what we hear becomes primary
Facetiously, going through life chuffed,
In a split second.  

(R a) b b a a b R a b b a R)

Written October 1, 2022
[Rondine, a form I learned
from writings of Jeff Kyser]

Take a Powder

Go away, Today,
You have overstayed your stay.
You think you're tough,
We've had enough it's been rough,
It's time to go.
Go now,
We can't allow
This bedlam to last,
You've had your day,
Just vanish, we say
Be a memory of our past.
Shove off!!
Oh! you've acquired a cough,
From someone you infected.
How do you feel?
Do you feel ill?
Has Human breath been detected,
A virus in you,
That is new?
Caught, from a human being,
It's our breath that causes your death,
We can't believe what we are seeing,
A vicious virus,
Is not desirous,
To anyone on Earth.
We've invented a puffer,
A virus snuffer,
That will kill and stop future births.
As we wave goodbye,
We all breathe a sigh,
All feeling very chuffed,
Who would have thought we'd kill the virus,
Who was so desirous,
With a Super Sniffer Puff.

Memories of Christmas Past

Christmas memories come flooding back
Just  a few small gifts in my Santa sack
In the toe there’s an orange and a sugar mouse
I’d hide the mouse to scare mum in the house

Some chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil
And some coloured balls containing bath oil
A box of jelly slices in orange and yellow
In truth I much preferred mashmallow!

Larger presents are piled beneath the tree
Always a board game for all the family
My favourite gift was such a  surprise
The cutest teddy with sweet brown eyes

I hugged my teddy, and named him Fritz
I can’t stop grinning, I’m chuffed to bits

A Christmas Gift Memory Poetry Contest


Sponsored by BJ Legros Kelley 

12/18/21

Stuck In a Rut

What is happening in the world today?
I really wish my life would change
Everyday’s exactly the same
Nothing differs in a good way
And I got no’ one else to blame
It’s like a picture in a frame
Just a pawn in god’s game

I was given this life I didn’t make it
To have to put up with all this 
Eventually blows your head to bits
Not to mention a relationship
Great at the time, chuffed to bits
But messed up when you split

We’re all waiting for that big break
An opportunity for us to take
A lottery win, “wakey wake”
Stuck in a life that you love to hate
We’re running out of time for god’s sake!
Crumbling away like a Cadbury’s flake

To be rich with lots of money
How wonderful could it be?
Places to go things to see
Multiply your friends by three
But would it make you really happy?
Well it would help me

I can’t even afford to go out
Can’t afford a pint of stout
I sometimes want to scream and shout
I sometimes ask what’s it all about?

Sensation

The thrill of winning feels real
I’m chuffed coz I closed the deal
These haters got nothing on me
I told them that they can have all chips
Be it poor or rich
I’ll rather watch my six
Then be fingered for a snitch
I’ll be turning tricks
and be on a constant fix
On paracetamol or morpheme
Kind of drowsy and red eyed
Whole week in a bed I lied
An ulcer to leg left me in pain
Lying here all alone
I have to know that God sits on the throne
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Every second I waste is more than I can take no more
Tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you expecting of me
Put under the pressure walking in your shoes
All I want is to be more like me and less like you...

Cath the Crazy Cat Lady

Cath is totally besotted with her five pussycats,
their cute ears stick out from under blue hats.
She dresses them in brightly colored plastic suits,
and on their paws they wear red wellington boots.

Cath’s kittens, all have colorful jackets to wear,
She takes the cats ’walkies’, oh how people stare.
When Cath gets them home she brushes their fur,
with their tails held high they all gently purr.

She minces best fillet steak for their dinner,
whilst the pussies get fat, old Cath gets thinner.
Spinster Cath’s never been a mother or a wife,
so her adorable cats have taken over her life.

One day little Archie ran out of the door -
he’d never been out on his own before,
Sadly poor Archie didn’t get very far
as the cute little cat was killed by a car.

Cath arranged for him to be mounted and stuffed
when she saw the result she was really chuffed!
Dear Archie now lies in such sweet repose
and Cath just can’t resist tickling his pink nose.

Crazy cat Lady Contest
Sponsored by Line Gauthier

01/06/18

The Red Boat

The boat drifted in one Summer’s day
Painted red no one aboard today
The fisherman found it on the shore
And took it home deciding ownership would be ignored

And he didn’t hear anyone was missing a boat
So he felt safe to use it being chuffed to gloat
He rigged it up and used it to fish in the bay
Setting out to sail on a sunny day

A couple was walking on the beach
And they saw the boat on the bay out of reach
They wondered who was with the fisherman then
As there was two people at the boat’s end

The next day on the beach of a seaside town
A red boat washed to the shoreline to be found
And a fisherman found the boat with no one around
So he took the boat hoping that the owner could not be found.

© Paul Warren Poetry

Hard Work Vs Greed

She is young, She is eager, She is the stepping stones to your success ... 

With perseverance and continuous applications,
She finally gets the call, She has the  job,
She is a cleaner,
She is the helper, But

She cleans with passion,
A smile on her face and a song in her heart,

At your call, She is there,
You can see the appreciation on her face,
the twinkle of hope in her eye,

She know's she is capable of so much more,
While you come to the realization that you have scored,

Jumping at the opportunity, You give her the one thing she has been yearning for,

Her prayers for experience have been answered,
Her dedication, her motivation and her Soul is put into your Empire,

Your decision was made,
Very chuffed with yourself,
You offered minimum wage,

You should be ashamed

Burn the Walls, Build the Bridges

Burn the walls, build the bridges, 
For the gap is wide asunder; 
Destroy the hedge of bitterness, 
And remove the big barrier.

A person sits in the nook, 
Alone and lonely in ages; 
For he makes many fences
Instead of linking passages.

Loneliness can never add
Even a single second to one's life; 
It rather decreases his strength
To skunk the pain and strife.

Sin makes man unhappy, 
Though at first he enjoys; 
Little does he understand
His relation with God it destroys.

Behold the reckless people, 
Either young or old; 
Driven by blunder or error, 
They depart from the fold.

What a chuffed and joyful one, 
He who walks in the right path; 
Shrugging off the wrong ways
To avoid God's ire and wrath.

Gladly must we bury iniquity, 
And turn it into ashes; 
Let us return to the Lord, 
Burn the walls, build the bridges.

A Xmas Card For a Special Girl Poem and a Request To Poetry Soup Members

The little girl as a heart condition and her mum and dad as asked for people to send her a xmas card, She loves opening nice mail, and her mum reads them to her this is made for you poetry soup softys, done mine and sent it below is my poem I put inside  , Im sure she would be chuffed to get mail from around the world. must get a bigger smile. ( details where to send the xmas card and links below my effort below, sent it today ) And If a premium member would blog this for me that would be great more people will see it 

Princess Isabell it will soon be Xmas time
Rudolph's got a  sledgeful of presents
and they are all in your name.
Santa checks his list, As Isabella been good or bad.
Humm, he's not too sure so rings her mum and dad.
Now come on Santa don't be daft.
This is Isabell she is never bad.
So Santa shakes Rudolph's reins
And says , see you on Xmas day .

The Address to send cards to is:
Isabell Salat
2 Howes Croft
Castle Vale
Birmingham
B35 7EL
England

https://www.facebook.com/Princessisabellheartwarrior/?ref=br_rs&hc_ref=SEARCH

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