Best Uh Poems

A signal to arise.
I saw it in your eyes.
Reveille.

In good company
Aroused in your bed
Reveling with you
Reveille.

A celebration of the bugle
Your eyes of blue
So close to sunrise
Alive with boisterous excitement
Reveille

Awakened in no time
Every day a new one
Yielding to your arms
Your trinkets with magical powers
Keep us not...

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There is yelling and crying
Good.
There is screaming. 
A loud wail. Great!

Uh-oh.
Dead quiet.
I creep up, quietly
To spy on them

Knowing something is
Up. They are four, six, 
And eight, 

Only quiet when they
Are up to their most
Dastardly deeds....

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They were nearing LaGuardia Airport when the pilot felt a sudden urge.
He told the copilot to grab the yoke saying his bladder he must purge!
He left the cockpit and wended his way to the lavatory in the rear.
Thus, a series of events unfolded, some of...

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(Chorus - rpt. 1x): When you walk by its like
Uh-Huh, Uh-huh, Di da di da, Uh-huh, Uh-huh
When you talk 
Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Di da di da, Uh-huh, Uh-huh
Ooh baby when you touch
Uh-Huh, Uh-Huh, Di da di da, Uh-huh, Uh-huh
That’s why its like 
Uh-huh, Uh-huh, Di da...

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He makes me do such silly things,
Terror and trouble he surely brings.
Gum in hair, and sticks in wheels,
No care for how everyone feels.

Mud pies thrown through the sky,
Embarassed my sister in front of that guy.
Things i did i will not soon forget,
Uh-huh. the devil made...

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Sorry, I don't know what the heck you're talking about. 
Sorry, I don't understand a word of whatever you may have been trying to say. 
Sorry, I don't know that man, or woman, or children, or anybody else around here. 
Sorry, I'm a stranger around...

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Uh-Oh, I think im falling for you,
the way your lips are always turned upwards in a smile,
how you can make me blush without even meaning to.
I think Im in love,
with the way my heart races when you come near me.

Uh-oh, I think Im falling for...

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A milkmaid in the town of Nome
Never found time to write a poem
She woke up Randy
Amos and Andy
And squeezed them 'til the cows came home...

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A Netflix and chill night with Karen Speld my sister,
then a ridiculous game of that ludicrous Twister-
Hands awry and bent, Sam's manhood she did touch,
she did hit her head, but died from laughing too much!



A Funny Epitaph Poetry Contest
Jesse Rowe
September 17, 2018...

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She was making love with him the other night
Without protection she felt alright
Yesterday she found herself worried instead of proud
Cos she was sure that she hasn’t got IT this month
Today doctor said, “Congratulation. You’re going to be a mom.”
“Uh-Oh”, that all she could say
Realized she...

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An Inupiat "slow-grower"
Believed he could sink no lower
When an icicle rose
On the tip of his nose
He won "Number 1 Snow Blower"

 * * * * 

A cold polar bear did stutter
And folk thought he was a nutter
But God loved him a bunch
And dropped off his...

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He is a schizophrenic. 
And of course, which expert is saying this to me?
A person who has never met a schizophrenic, of course,
She might not even know a schizophrenic if we made them
Wear donkey tails, and let them bite dramatic people.

The same drama queen runs...

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did Mr. Hersh just say 
(see The New Yorker article “Our Men in Iran?”)
that
george w. butt**** trained special Iranian MEK 
(People’s Mujahedin of Iran) while in office 
(not to mention having Iran on the empire’s famed 
terrorist list) on US soil (Nevada) in 2005?
is that...

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speak it as it was to be
something for a world of
people to love and admire.
delicious and special.
she wanted something that was flavored naturally.
we determined that a sweet fruity flavor would
be best. because she was cooking chicken
and felt it was best to have as much chicken...

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From the grave he's torn,
the cow was milked and adored,
from her womb he's born,
her sister is barren and forlorned. 

Deep is his mother's sorrow,
long ago before his tomorrows,
forgotten from,
the one called son. 

Twisted his roots they grew,
well watered and spewed,
dig, dig, dig, 
those dirty shrews....

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