Best Toodle Poems
With his arm held closely by his side,
President Putin took a ride,
On his steed, so big and strong
Who thought this man could do no wrong,
It is regrettable to say
Only a horse could feel this way.
Putin is a manipulator,
A narcissist and a dictator.
Putin was on the run
Being President was no longer fun.
On a golf course far away,
Where Donal Trump and cronies play,
Mr Trump thought he played golf the best
But was never put to the test,
Because the Don was drunk with Power
All his fickle friends would cower,
They all bowed down to him
This situation proved to be grim,
He and golfers all gossip a lot,
About private matters that they should not.
Wouldn't it be fun,
Some peace at last for everyone,
If Trump was playing on the course,
And Putin passed by on his horse
Shouting out to his buddy,
Donnie, come away with me.
As things for Trump were getting hot,
And some thought he had lost the plot
It looked like a good idea
For Trump to run away from here.
So without further ado,
No goodbye or toodle-oo
Putin, with an almighty tug
Heaved Trump the big fat lug
On to his faithful horse
And without a whiff of remorse
The two rode away
And have never been seen since that glorious day!
Hey..' You..Are you heading to the bus stop? Well yes..Oh
Good.' Well i don't mean really good though..' why not? You mean
You have not heard.?? Heard what.? Well theres going to be
A plane coming to your bus stop.!! Are you sure.?? Oh yes..
And if you don't have the right ticket..' Well you won't be
Able to board.' And whats more you need different clothes.'
I do ? Well of course you will.' And so will all the other people.' Why?? Well because the plane needs to be able to
See you.' Oh..' yes you need to have really 'bright clothes you see! Like what.? (Like these!) Here are some bright yellow
Pants they go with a pink jacket and a bright blue hat.' Why
Do i need to have those.? Well so the plane can see you all
(Or you may all get killed) hey why can't we just have a bus.?
You can't..!! Thats it..The plane is coming so you just have
To be ready..By the way what sort of plane is it? I don't
Know.! I just know its big and dangerous and you need these clothes.!! How many people does the plane hold? I'm
Afraid I don't really know.! Oh..Does it belong to a particular
Firm I don't know.' Why don't you know? Because its only
Being built now.' Well how is it going to get here? It just is
Ok!! But can it land at the bus stop? Yes it can land anywhere.' Oh..As a matter of fact it might land on the
Canal..' But you'll still need to board.' Yes I know but how do
I get over the water? Thats ok ( i have this inflatable boat
Here!) I don't know? Is it seaworthy even? Of course..Its just crossed the English channel ' now would i sell you it
If it was not safe and effective? But.?? Look.!! i am a busy
Person and this is a fast paced situation.' My those clothes
Do have a certain flair.' They are a bit uncomfortable..Well
Thats not the point.' They have to be viynal so they can be
Washed..' Oh and when is the plane arriving? I told you I don't know..Now tuck the boat under your arm and you
Are going to be ready..Toodle loo.)
Bigger than bodacious,
higher TCH than contagious-
I poke at the smoke and make a cause to estrange this,
…toodle-to-do in my space ship!
I love how much I can remake this,
and bank the right to go out on a limb,
spill on the film,
make the gas on the ground increase its bliss,
run through the breeze and accept your diss,
though it is time to resist-
and look back at your breast...
Ask mother to draw me up a sign-
because like it or not you are on my line,
and my best friends,
and my bosses,
your eye’s doing crosses,
your cops pulling over bloggers!
Wait,
stop!
I said stop on a dime!
Pick one up and help pay for the blind!
We adore dances as long as they make man-shifts,
make shift-
endanger wigs,
throw out chicken strips,
and hopeless trips!
Play out banquettes, with not enough men to spank it!
Even though they're all over it,
callin' all out smurf!
And say **** anybody with my tip!
It's high in the mountain range-
and it see's you as strange!
Blame blame blame!
And then do it all again!
Go to the gym later and explain!
Ask why do young men have names?...
I haven't given them my change,
I am still alive,
I deserve to be played!
I am in turn to say hey, go away,
you little brother,
stayin' for a long time and then bein' like...mine!
“Okay then, alright then, toodle-loo, bye-bye!”
Sure love to hear that again
My first wife would end each phone conversation
With this familiar old refrain
Once uttering these words of sheer finality
It was over, finis, a done deal
Even though their words are heard trailing off
Time's up, no chance to repeal
Was definitely over when this sweet lady quoted
These charming memorable words
Am I dreaming or did I actually just hear them again
Can't be true, that's totally absurd!
“Okay then, alright then, toodle-loo, bye-bye!”
Sure love to hear that again
Life has moved on but love to hear them once more
That familiar sweet old refrain
© Jack Ellison 2013
Aahhhh, The Quirky/Idiosyncrasies of MoonBee
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Icky …
Icky Who ?
… Never Mind, I’ll Come Back Later …
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Juan …
Juan Who ?
I Don’t Know, What Do You Have In Mind ?
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Hula …
Hula Who ?
Yes, When I Was Young …
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Toodle …
Toodle Who ?
… Ok
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Bye-Bye …
Bye-Bye Who ?
Look Lucy, We Found Ricky !
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Nu …
Nu Who ?
Well, If You Know Who, Why You Ask ?
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Woo …
Woo Who ?
… Ok, Who’s In Trouble ?
(The Obvious-Obvious, One)
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Who …
Who Who ?
Late Night, Huh ?
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Yu …
Not Me !
Yeah … Yu !
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Yu ! …
You Who ?!
… Hi …
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Yu !
Naaaaa, Naaaaa Interested !
Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
Boo …
Boo Who ?
Wait, I’m Not A Bill Collector !
Knock, Knock …
Who… who oo ‘s There ?
Sue …
Su suu sue, Who ?
(but then Door Opens, With A Crash
Double-Barrel, Points Out, Blasts
The Knocker Runs Fast, as Voice Shouts Out Rash
“ … Sue That ! and Don’t Come Back Talking ‘bout Whiplash”
And The Man Sits Back Down, To Finish His Glass
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Oh, Darn, I’m Out Of Egg-Nog and Jack D
Now, How Can I Make My Moonlight-Tea
Well, It’s Back To The Market, For MoonBee
He He He ! …
Have A Great Day, Y’all …
MoonBee
He says he's sorry for this...
she says shes sorry for that.
I feel like becoming the cat in the hat.
I'm sorry I got up late zing...tingy...do...
I'm sorry I forgot to set the alarm bing...binky...boo.
I'm sorry there's no coffee as she blew her kazoo.
I'm sorry I sneezed on you zing...zetty...zoo.
I'm sorry he said as he reached for the poodle.
I forgot to put the seat down on the wing...toliet...toodle.
That's okay...but I'm sorry to say...
I have a meeting tonight so I will be a wee bity late.
I'm sorry I forgot to put gas in your car-ah...
maybe I'll get to it sometime to-mor-ah.
I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I hear and I say...
maybe it would help if we rolled in the hay.
Ring...dingy-do the phone is for you.
I'm sorry It's my work calling ming...molly...moo.
We say " I'm sorry" so much...
each day It's the same...
It seems like a contest that drives me insane!
P.R.Deremer
Hello
Welcome, warm
Greeting, saluting, hailing
Salutation, address; farewell, toodle-loo
Parting, tearing, leave-taking
Sad, departure
Goodbye
May 22, 2021
Perhaps like a lightning
bolt of clear out of the blue
rigor mortis (tenon and
three decades hence)
two thousand fifty nine if you
count from January 13th 2019, adieu
attest that day 9 months I did brew
in wound (of the late Harriet Harris),
now finds me loved ones
crying boo hoo,
after this stiff mortal
Earthling bid toodle loo
with symbolic casket
(carrying cremated urn of ashes)
remembrance attended
by gentile and Jew
sharing positive memories purportedly
about this nondescript
fellow they knew
mainly indirectly, poignantly,
and wickedly shot thru
with his insightful humorous scribblings,
plus magnus opus titled
"How do ye do,"
an informal rambling missive bereft
of any subject and
devoid with little clue,
the purpose of said hefty tome
out weighing The Federalist circa: knew
lee after American independence
Papers, written by true
purrs under the pseudonym "Publius"
but great (as a great doorstop), or
alight as tinder for barbeque
since many admirers never
read his text written in Hebrew,
fluency acquired spending
final years he grew
old, since automatic citizenship
granted based on genetic goo
plus Mediterranean climate helped promote
longevity to century his health did hew
thus naturally pronounced philosophy,
where he drew
quite a wide web asper the many
claims Matthew Scott did eschew
to maintain longevity (more
quackery than science), but who
could dispute glorious
principles, not to poo poo
analogous to placebo effect
harmless fervent coping methods,
whether to cure ague
interestingly enough he cited ack hue
puncture for a gamut of physical ills
as well he did advocate chew
wing food (after taking small bites)
until mouthful became pulpy slew
(proponent of Fletcherism), this to
exercise dentures in addition
to maximize stew
pen diss experience of simple
routine eating view
wing thoroughly good (by George)
said quotidian activity grew
tubby spiritual, similarly basic
functions in general did get skew
ward whereby meditation on intrinsic,
metabolic and scholastic
processes to name a few
added a dimension of enhancement prior to
exiting life into frontier mortals can only rue.
(a lighter-hearted parody of the masterpiece poem “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe)
Once upon a noonday sunny, while I smiled at something funny
In the park where children play and suitors woo,
’Midst the sound of subtle flapping, suddenly I got a crapping;
On my cheek I felt it slapping, warm and wet and slimy, too,
And my uncontrolled reaction to the foul, repugnant goo
Was a squeamish “Eww-ew-ewww!”
Soon my shock assumed a passion of a duly fiercer fashion,
For the bough above disclosed a damning clue:
There a shapely dove was lurking, all her guilt and duty shirking,
Unconcerned and coyly smirking, just to see what I would do.
“Fiend!” I cried, “You’ll feel my vengeance!” but this only made her coo,
Sighing softly, “Toodle-oo.”
Whereupon, with madness growing, I picked up a stone for throwing,
As but slightly farther off she lightly flew,
But my aim was rash confusion and it met with no conclusion,
So in spite of my delusion there was nothing I could do.
Now my heart will not get over how she crooned her calm adieu:
“Toodle-ooo-oo, toodle-oo.”
Accomplishing something plenty you got
Captured as a whole in your life snapshot
Takes after a Kodak moment caught
On the screen, pictures flicker a·do
Everyone smiling, life happenings in view
Great im·ag·ings, moments in time, toodle-oo
Are creations from the moment shows
If tis' not develop 'n compose
Give it again, one's best shot dose
Blizzards!, My Gizzards!,
This Blustering Bloke,
Keeps Mustering Mayhems With Words That He Spoke,
Great Snakes!, Eureka! and Holy Cow! Too,
Crimey! and Gadzooks! and A Tempestuous Toodle-Doo!,
Shazam! and Golly Willikers! with a Pinch of Vamoose!
Scram!, Gosh Damn!, and a Final Sacre Bleu!
You promised me the stars and moon
You promised me the sun
You promised we’d be happy
You promised we’d have fun
You vowed to me undying love
You said you’d always care
You said that till forever
You’re life with me you’d share
I hoped that I could trust you
I wanted it to be
I felt that I could love you
I thought that you loved me
I fell for all you’re trickery
I let myself be snared
I misread all the signals
I thought you really cared
So now we’re not together
So now we are apart
So now I must start over
So now’s the time to start
So if you think about me
So if you shed a tear
So many years I’ve wasted
So, toodle pip my dear
If you want to give people the slip
In England, years ago, you'd say,
I'm off. Toodle Pip,
If you are with a mate
With whom you are in tune
Toodle OO old chum
I'll be seeing you soon
Ta Ta, for now
Or TTFN
I'll probably see you again,
I don't know why I wrote this verse
It made me feel quite sad and terse
The French say the romantic au revoir
It rolls off the tongue
It's the best Ta Ta I've heard so far.
There once was an emigrant from Peru
Who couldn't master the art of kazoo---
It got stuck in his gums
He poured in some rum---
And now he can play 'Toodle-oo.'
I gat lots of attitude
It’s not like you didn’t know
I will do as I please
Just so you know
What's it gatta do with you what I do?
Do I care what you do?
I am me and not you
I will strut and groove
And show anyone how I move
I play by my own rules
No matter how much you fume
It’s about me and not you
I will never live the life
You want me to
I can only do as I do
I think you should go away
You are only getting in my way
All I want to do is play
And party without you all day
I need you to know that
I’m best on my own
I wont let you have me
I will never give myself only to you
You needs to shoo
Go away
Toodle doo
I don't gats no use for you
Leave me be why don't you
I will be staying far from you
You are not for me
And im not for you
It’s all over
So
BOO