Best Star Trek Poems
Kirk: ‘Lt. Uhura, come to my quarters at 1800 hours’
Uhura: ‘Yes captain, might I ask what’s up?’
Kirk: ‘Nothing now but something WILL be at 1800 hours’
Bones: ‘Jim, is this a medical issue?’
Kirk: ‘You bet your ***** it is, Bones’
Sulu: ‘Captain, a Klingon ship is approaching’
Kirk: ‘Blast that sucker to smithereens, I got a date’
Chekov: ‘Captain, you’ll need protection on this mission’
Kirk: No problem Ensign, got a few here in my wallet’
Obi-Wan Kenobi: ‘May the force be with you’
Kirk:’ Thanks Obi, but you’re in the wrong contest’
Obi-Wan Kenobi: ‘This isn’t PD’s contest?’
Kirk: ‘HELL no, now SKAT will probably disqualify us’
Obi-Wan Kenobi: ‘Well, may the force be with you anyway’
Kirk: ‘Look Kenobi, nobody’s forcing ANYBODY here’
Spock: ‘Captain, I’m receiving a message from SKATfleet Command’
Kirk: ‘What Mr. Spock? And why do you always talk like that?’
Spock: ‘To qualify for the contest, the writer has to command the ship’
Kirk: ‘Damn it all! What the…FRONT AND CENTER WRITER!’
Writer: ‘Um…All hands on deck?...Anchors away?’
Uhura: ‘Ohh Captain KIRRK, it’s 1800 hours’…
Kirk: ‘Not now Uhura, I’m not in the mood!’
Uhura: Ohh Captain WRITERRR, it’s 1800 hours’…
Writer: ‘Kirk, you have the helm. I’ll be in my quarters’
Spock: ‘Fascinating’
Kirk: ‘Shut-up Spock’…
Tim Ryerson
Theme: Sexual harassment in the workplace
For SKAT’s contest
"May the Force be with you!" Spock said
Leaving poor Jan shaking her head
For Bones does not care
That fills Jan with air
Since Kirk logs, "Warp Speed Launch" instead
The Final Frontier,
Gateway to the Universe.
Enter open door.
In the Starship Enterprise
There meets a fearless crew
There is nothing out there
That they haven’t stumbled through
The Life forms that are novel
And are trying to learn
And strange and wondrous obstacles
At each and every turn
The “tribbles” that are multiplying
Are right there at their feet
And when they need solutions,
They can consult Starfleet
Spock supplying logic
And Captain Kirk is brave
While they seek advancement
The Klingons, they enslave
This world was once fictitious
And now it’s almost here
As Star Trek’s innovations are starting to appear
I hope the explorations
Will soon materialize
And that the technology
Appears before our eyes
So please uphold the vision
Continue in that vein
Star Trek’s imagination, reality will claim
Jean-Luc Picard cant replace James T. Kirk
with his Earl Grey tea and sinister smirk,
he lacks Jim's youthful physique,
that made women's knees go weak,
and acts more like a Shakespearean jerk.
(Limerick)
04/02/2022
On A Lim Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Joseph May
"Star Trek"
star trek
interstellar adventure
before homework
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
Captain Picard enters his quarters
after a hard day on the bridge, the
Enterprise had left Klingon space
Tea, Earl Grey, hot
The replicator whirred inaudibly
Damn it!
Cup!
CUP!
Water, soapy, hot
The replicator responded again
Damn it!
Red alert!
The vacuum
between the stars
didn't care.
Much of it
died silently.
There were no tears.
The spaces
met each other
by chance. Strangers
rubbed together
to become families
without benefit
of wisdom.
We traveled
with our crew
of coincidental friends.
We almost cared,
but not quite.
We were tied together
by rules we learned
late.
With this crew
we imagined
a universe of life.
a place of peaceful rest
from cursing…reversed
in Paramount Plus
gun slinging verbiage —
trashing the Most Holy’s name
in Star Trek IV, Nimoy
was given his lines —
exposé of colorful language
not heard of in their age
now Picard is old
and the old returns
to the silver-lie-zed screen
screaming in our faces
like overdue feces
a species showing its true colors
unfortunately…throw in sex scenes too
nothing unimagined, nothing civilized,
only the dematerialization
of minds. And the startup
of this series…i’m yawning
nothing like the lively action
of the past. evolution seems
to be a blast from the past.
am i picking on Picard?
why call him JL,
when Jean-Luc
sounded so much cooler
ooh…ooh let me answer this!
it’s a prelude to disaster
of epic proportions
will mankind be saved this time
in the nick of time
the Captain’s apt to fail
his dog is “number one”
his predecessor in spot two
they are in doo doo
bring back a place of peaceful rest -
it’s paramount to reverse
the cursing, the death
of good old-fashioned fun
3/8/2022
I'd been speed-watching all past Star Trek series. So of course this week I dreamed I was visited by Q of the Q Continuum and he would grant me one wish. In my waking world I'm sure I'd've asked for something greedy if not for something sappy like peace between all people. But in my dream, without missing a beat, I wished Molly Ivins was still alive.
Whooshing through the universe – at warp speed,
You think that seat-belts – would have been a need.
Cause how many times – did Uhura’s ass hit the deck,
On almost every episode – of Star Trek?
And with the other bridge crew – flipping through the air,
There was Kirk – just clinging to his chair.
Now Spock, always seemed – to stay off of the floor,
Because picking up Uhura – was his tiresome chore.
Then Scotty would scramble – to his engine console,
To push the buttons needed – to regain control.
Now in the beginning – this made for great viewing,
But it’s apparent now – they had no idea what they were doing.
I've been one to enjoy a good Star Trek episode,
but to a convention I would never go.
There's something very disturbing about that world.
I bet that most of those guys never even kissed a girl.
What started out as an enjoyable TV show
has clearly gotten out of control.
Some of them could have learned Italian, French or Spanish
but instead chose to learn the entire Klingon language.
A language which serves no purpose to anyone
in our society or any other civilization.
If Mr Spock could manifest himself to all of them
he'd say, "Live long and prosper is not your destination."
All of you hard core Trekies please heed my advice.
Join the real human race and get yourselves a life.
Every race and kind
Infinite diversity
Roddenbery’s dream
To boldly go where
no one has gone before them
Kirk and Spock explore
To seek out new life
and new civilizations
yes, to boldly go
For science and peace
or is it just for conquest
What do humans seek?
Would Gene be proud of
humanity and Trekkies
If alive today?
Go out and make a
change in our planet first, then
Roddenbery’s way!
It's life Jim but not as we know it
Kill quickly and prosper
Enterprise