Best Roll In The Hay Poems
Ted enjoys a quick roll in the hay...
He’s sleeping with his buxom P A
She confirmed she’s with child
Ted baulked, then got quite riled
I wonder what his wife’s got to say!
5/26/18
Although I'm little distant, I love you on this day
Because I love you more than I did yesterday
Come lay with me on today
Don't hesitate let's have fun and play
Each moment with you is spring time in
May
Follow your heart, and let it have it's say
Give me all of you, that is the only way
Handle my heart with care,I'll never stray
I want to be with you forever and always
Join me on this lovely and romantic sleigh
Keep our romance fun, let's roll in the hay
Let's be together until we're old and gray
My heart and soul is yours, and will forever
stay
New beginnings are always at bay
On this day I want to be your wife don't delay
Please say yes, we'll get married in Hawaii I'll
wear a lai
Quit thinking about all we have on our tray
Rest assured I'm ready to throw all negativity
away
Sorry I brought all this up on your birthday
Trust in God he is the potter we're the clay
Understand we can't do this halfway
Venturing out of our comfort zone will cause us to
be giddy and gay
With you I will take you hand down life's
pathway
X-ray your heart so it could be on display
You are my whole world, I'm happy as a bluejay
Zestfulness is what you give me, is what
I'm trying to convey
Alexis Y
08-17-16
Inspired by Mike and Lin's ABC rhyme poem
What is it that makes women beautiful
Is it her eyes, her personality, her smile
Her alluring soft and mellow voice
That whispers let's talk for a while
Intelligence is definitely a very big factor
Coz when the loving's all done
Need to discuss the happenings of the day
And the recent soap opera fun
Love is much more than a roll in the hay
To last, it needs friendship as well
So hard to love someone if liking's not part
It's really quite easy to tell
So what is it that makes women so beautiful
Those things and a whole lot more
That overwhelming and totally feminine thing
The beauty that all men adore
Note: The CYO is the Catholic Youth Organization for teens. Really enjoyed all the
activities they held, especially the hayride picnic!
The teenage girls brought baskets filled with food
While the boys braced for a romantic mood
I packed turkey and some rolls
But my basket, it had holes
Brushed off my mate’s gestures, not to be rude
The full harvest moon shone brightly above
And other couples were pursuing love
Pete and I dated for years
I, a virgin, filled with fears
Erotic moments he felt deprived of
So as I fumbled through my worn basket
Pete saw me as virginity’s mascot
The turkey, it was still there
Rolls had fallen out, but where?
I dove into the hay, the rolls to get
Peter dove too and the carriage did sway
Though I wasn’t ready for his “squeeze play”
I sought only food’s treasure
This picnic proved a pleasure
That’s how I got my first roll in the hay
Entry for Carol Brown’s “Picnic Time” Contest. Some truth to this, but Peter was still
feeling "deprived" after the hayride.
Fran said to her milkman one day
Do you fancy a roll in the hay
Much to his chagrin
Fran asked 'is it in?'
You’re not quite as big as folk say!
10th February 2015
A sexy young lady from Dover
Was ready to get her leg over
A quick roll in the hay
Any time night or day
Her boyfriend admits he's in clover
02~28~ 2015
checked with how many syllables 8 8 6 6 8
Contest: Spring forward - Debbie Guzzi
~awarded 6th place~
He's drunk as a skunk on St Patrick’s Day
Too much Guinness stopped him getting a lay
For he had brewers droop
So he had to regroup
He’ll have to wait for a roll in the hay
17th March 2015
Bugger
17th July 2015
Last night my missus gave me some oysters for tea
Was I in for a night of rip snorting whoopee?
I showered and shaved trying to smell like a stud
Her half dozen oysters must have all of been duds.
Things were desperate so I engaged in foreplay
What old men do when they want a roll in the hay
I groveled I pleaded, even whined like a dog
But for all of my efforts all I got was a snog.
So should she ever give me a little blue pill
I now know it sure won’t be for an evening of thrill.
Her response
So you’re disappointed
That all you got was just a snog
How about make an effort
Stop smelling like grog
I don’t care for begging,
And sexual wee stirrings
Have a shave and a shower,
That'll start me concurring.
Now take your hand off my breast,
Just help me cook the kids tea
Grab the vacuum, do the house,
That’ll be enough foreplay for me
Hang out the washing,
Then feed the pets.
Do homework with the kids
Please now go make the beds,
Scrub all the pots,
Make sure you do the lids
Thank you my dear,
Your help was just great,
It's nice just not to nag
What! What do you mean?
You’re too tired for a shag?
28th September
Silent One's Competition
In response to my first poem
Author's Note: Recite the following using the rhythm and melody of "Home, home on the range where the deer and the antelope play." The first verse can be used as the refrain:
His income tax structure is strange
Donald will the needy shortchange
The overly rich
Claim their life is a b-i-t-c-h
For them he’ll find bucks on the range
A clear planet earth never smokes
But Trump’s cohorts grim are the Kochs
Where fossils remain
They'll tear into the plain
Fracking rigs are their dirty jokes
There's fat upon Miss USA
The Donald says queen you shall pay!
"For my regal job"
She did painfully sob
"Is rehab a roll in the hay?"
Like buffalo once were so vast
Our middle class was unsurpassed
Now they are the prey
While republicans play
And deny the climate forecast
CLEM POTTS AND THE MOON
not a pleasant sound
combining potts with the moon,
but, farm girls had learned
clem potts, in his rustic way,
was quite the village dreamer
lord of the haystack,
when the field was night-flooded,
the cows all asleep,
was he crooning his love theme -
clem potts, wily moon-schemer
her name, clara june
was the prettiest filly
with clem all aswoon
she’d met clem potts at the fair
where he’d won the ‘dog-eat’ fest
forty chili dogs
the last one nearly come up
he could still taste it
the beans, the hot tomatoes
belch without puke, the test
and, by god, he’d won,
had staved off hurl tornado
stored the big rumble
that churning away inside
mixed with green bile and the rest
he was quoting keats -
the moon-streaked straw in her hair -
thinking not those chili dogs,
about to brush clara’s cheek,
bent on a roll in the hay
clem said, “i love you.”
lord when lips formed the last word
clem’s gut did a flip
and the poor young clara june
turned blue from the blast, then gray
If your name is Potts I must apologize, so too if Clara June.
Away at the drug store
no condoms I see
I need some protection
to stop pregnancy
My girlfriend’s so horny
wants sex night and day
I’d never refuse her
a roll in the hay!
I’ll purchase some cling film
and some rubber bands
I’ll use these till condoms
are back on the stands.
Poem of the Day 14th July 2023
07/13/23
Here I sit in my gilded cage
Bars confine me because I got in a rage
No chance for a roll in the hay
As I’m locked up 24 hours a day
The only bars are the ones that imprison me
Only twenty more years and I then will be free
Locked up for a crime that I admit
Being in prison is simply rubbish (I couldn't use my rhyming word!)
101 Poems in a row #17 sponsored by PD Linda :-)
10th May 2015
A WOMAN’S STYLE
Why, oh, why am I transmogrified with desire when I see you in society?
Is it right to control me when I just want to be free?
Love, my dear, is never to be denied.
I just want to feel your essence your vibes.
Call it what you may but I am not just a roll in the hay a simple lay.
We will get to know each other's endeavors this day.
A woman’s style is to go after what she desires and throw it to the wind.
She will get her man and that’s the win.
Today I will walk in the sunrise.
You are the rogue in my mind’s eye.
I smile because you are a burst of sunshine.
I just want to feel your energy with mine.
I’ll come again tomorrow and you will give me a wink.
Soon I know I will be your everything.
A woman’s style is to be shy for the moment.
She will converse once she knows you are lonely.
Tonight I will venture into the twilight.
You'll be at that particular place in time.
I will enter the dance hall impromptu.
You will glance my way and i'll be looking at you.
I figure this will be the big break.
Must I close my eyes to crave?
A woman’s style is to romantically embrace her desires and her anticipations.
She knows the signs of procrastination.
A woman’s style is to follow her aspirations.
She might find a better placement.
So do not be egoistic.
A woman’s style is altruistic.
[A woman's style!]
[A woman's style!]
[A woman's style!]
_________________________________|
Verlena S. Walker
Penned on September 21, 2014!
Last night my missus gave me oysters for my tea
I was really kind of hopeful for a night of tumble round whoopee
I showered and shaved, it helps to smell like a stud
But her half dozen oysters must have all of been duds.
Things were looking desperate so I engaged in some foreplay
Thats the thing that old men do when they want a roll in the hay
I grovelled and I pleaded, even whined like a dog
But for all of my best efforts all I got was a snog.
So should she ever come home, bearing that little wee blue pill
Don't think that I got lucky or had an evening of thrill.
A Roll in the Hay
Try to be different.
Take the plunge.
Dare to live for today.
Be your own boss,
be true to your school,
and, charge for a roll in the hay.
Eat, drink and do Mary.
Boys will be boys they say.
But, Men and the boys
have different priced toys,
Some men even pay for the hay...