Mark Woods Poet Rhyme

Bugger - Her Response

Bugger 
17th July 2015

Last night my missus gave me some oysters for tea
Was I in for a night of rip snorting whoopee?
I showered and shaved trying to smell like a stud
Her half dozen oysters must have all of been duds.
Things were desperate so I engaged in foreplay
What old men do when they want a roll in the hay
I groveled I pleaded, even whined like a dog
But for all of my efforts all I got was a snog.
So should she ever give me a little blue pill
I now know it sure won’t be for an evening of thrill.

Her response

So you’re disappointed
That all you got was just a snog
How about make an effort 
Stop smelling like grog
I don’t care for begging,
And sexual wee stirrings
Have a shave and a shower, 
That'll start me concurring.
Now take your hand off my breast, 
Just help me cook the kids tea
Grab the vacuum, do the house, 
That’ll be enough foreplay  for me
Hang out the washing, 
Then feed the pets. 
Do homework with the kids
Please now go make the beds, 
Scrub all the pots, 
Make sure you do the lids
Thank you my dear, 
Your help was just great, 
It's nice just not to nag
What! What do you mean? 
You’re too tired for a shag?



28th September
Silent One's Competition
In response to my first poem

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Lindsay Laurie October 5, 2015 at 7:37 PM Thanks for the laugh Mark. There appears to be a priority discrepancy though and it doesn't appear to be to your advantage - Lindsay

Skat A October 2, 2015 at 1:02 AM Mark, Congratulations on the response to your first poem ***SKAT Mark Woods October 2, 2015 at 3:38 AM Skat thank you.

Richard Lamoureux October 1, 2015 at 9:04 AM Ha ha, I won't be showing this one to my wife. Congrats on this entertaining piece. Mark Woods October 1, 2015 at 10:04 PM Go on I dare you too, it may lead to a night of unparalleled passion! : ) Cheers for stopping by

Dr. Upma A. Sharma October 1, 2015 at 2:19 AM Wonderful both poems Mark n so is the win! Big congrats! Mark Woods October 1, 2015 at 3:49 AM Thank you Doc

Robert Lindley September 30, 2015 at 10:11 PM CONGRATS ON YOUR WIN MARK. I ENJOYED BOTH POEMS AND GIFTING SMILES IS A BLESSING.. Mark Woods September 30, 2015 at 10:20 PM Cheers Robert, I will write humour again at some stage, just have to have the right mindset, so hopefully I can give you a smile or a grin again at some point in the future

Michael Tor September 30, 2015 at 8:53 PM Mark excellent win! Mark Woods September 30, 2015 at 10:09 PM Cheers Michael, when I get a chance I must have a wander through the entries myself.

Jan Allison September 30, 2015 at 4:56 PM have just seen your response to my 2nd comment and now I'm laughing Mark:-) congrats on your win:-) I do love humour in poetry:-) :-) hugs Jan xx Mark Woods September 30, 2015 at 10:11 PM Really?!? I would have never picked that LOL, Jan you are the Queen of Humour! It's nice to have a laugh, poetry can be so many things and humour is so important in life.

Eileen Manassian September 28, 2015 at 12:43 PM Oh DEAR!!!! Love the humor here. :) Ain't that typical of women! ;) Great write. Eileen Manassian September 28, 2015 at 1:03 PM :) I appreciate it. Yes.....differences in perspective can be problematic at times. ;) Mark Woods September 28, 2015 at 1:02 PM My wife can see a speck of dust from 100m I'd be lucky to see it from 10cm. There's a difference in perspectives and importances. I had a re-read of your poem, still think it's great!

CayCay Godwin September 28, 2015 at 11:39 AM I need to read the contest, don't know what it says, but I know this reads true and with humor. Very good, Mark - I grinned the whole read ... CayCay Mark Woods September 28, 2015 at 1:04 PM It was the only response I could think of, to my first poem! I'm sure there must be a lady out there that has said this at some time... lol

Robert Lindley September 27, 2015 at 10:29 PM Both poems highlight the chasm between male and female ideas of romance and foreplay. A7 and good luck in that contest. Mark Woods September 28, 2015 at 4:14 AM Thank you Robert, I don't think this will be a flier in the contest, but it was fun to try and come up with a female response!

Michael Tor September 27, 2015 at 4:33 PM Lol great humor Mark. Enjoyed very much! Mark Woods September 27, 2015 at 4:36 PM I had a lot of fun writing this, I'm pleased you enjoyed it!

Jan Allison September 27, 2015 at 4:26 PM ha ha ha the original poem was hilarious - the response is fabulous :-) good luck in the contest:-) hugs Jan xx 7 Mark Woods September 27, 2015 at 4:42 PM I'll give you 100 7's for reply of the century. I'm laughing so hard! Jan Allison September 27, 2015 at 4:40 PM made me giggle reading it again... hope you sleep well Mark lol:-) hugs Jan xx Mark Woods September 27, 2015 at 4:32 PM I read a poem by Mia Pratt yesterday about men and woman which gave me the idea for the response. I've got a sneaking suspicion a few ladies may just get this! : )