Mark Woods Poet Rhyme

Bugger

Last night my missus gave me oysters for my tea
I was really kind of hopeful for a night of tumble round whoopee
I showered and shaved, it helps to smell like a stud
But her half dozen oysters must have all of been duds.

Things were looking desperate so I engaged in some foreplay
Thats the thing that old men do when they want a roll in the hay
I grovelled and I pleaded, even whined like a dog
But for all of my best efforts all I got was a snog.

So should she ever come home, bearing that little wee blue pill
Don't think that I got lucky or had an evening of thrill.

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Jan Allison July 11, 2016 at 4:51 PM this is priceless Mark really made me laugh out loud:-) hugs jan xx Mark Woods July 12, 2016 at 2:35 AM I have got a soft spot for this poem. Just a good laugh that so many people can associate with

Vladislav Raven January 3, 2016 at 9:11 AM Hi Mark, i needed a laugh and this write sure did fit the bill. I think for me it would be dozens of oysters. I'd know who to blame when i spent all night on the toilet. Mind you that could well be the plan. Enjoyed the read Mark. Glad i started at the beginning....Vladislav. Mark Woods January 3, 2016 at 1:32 PM Thank you Vladislay. I'm about to delete some of my earlier poems, but this stays at it is a keeper. It seems to amuse so many people.

CayCay Godwin September 25, 2015 at 11:50 AM I'm back tracking your poems and glad of it - I found this clever gem. Such a fun read ... CayCay Mark Woods September 25, 2015 at 6:08 PM I'm sure many blokes would relate to this, and I'm sure many women would get a giggle too ; )

Teddy Kimathi August 8, 2015 at 7:02 AM Congrats for having your piece featured in PS home page Mark! ;-) Mark Woods September 25, 2015 at 6:05 PM So sorry Teddy never saw your comment, thank you for your kind words.

Skat A August 4, 2015 at 9:10 PM MARK, Congratulations on having your poem featured this week. **SKAT** Mark Woods August 5, 2015 at 4:21 AM Thank you Skat, bad time to realise I made a very bad grammatical error!

Lindsay Laurie August 3, 2015 at 3:35 AM There you go Mark... it's a fallacy. Oysters only work for oysters I reckon... and oyster salesmen. catch you soon - Lindsay

Poet Destroyer A July 19, 2015 at 9:09 PM Mark, A nice warm WELCOME to poetry soup. I hope you have fun with this wonderful community. You'll find many friendly poets who are ready to support and give positive feedback. I will enjoy following you and your poetry when you are ready :) We are Lucky To Have you. Enjoy Poetry Soup:) Your New Poet Friend @-> LINDA <-@

Skat A July 19, 2015 at 1:30 PM Mark,, a sweet Welcome to Poetry Soup. It will be a delight to read and become familiar with your poems in the future. As for now, I will greet you with the same smile others passed when I first joined the soup. Wishing you and your poetry the best. I hope you get to meet all the nice poets around here STARTING with me- SKAT :-) Please drop a hello and tell me a little about yourself if you wish. I would like to be your newest poetry soup "FRIEND" Hugs* SKAT"" Mark Woods July 19, 2015 at 1:49 PM I'm just a fool from the antipodes thats always enjoyed entertaining friends with humor, political views and wee snippets of life.

Anne-Lise Andresen July 18, 2015 at 5:45 AM - With smiles and joy I welcome you to P-Soup, Mark :) - Hope you will find this poem page interesting and post many more poems in the future - Have a great experience together here with us in "the poems world" - I wish you every success - // Anne-Lise :)

Laura Breidenthal July 17, 2015 at 10:06 PM This was a most entertaining poem, Mark! Thanks for sharing! Always, Laura