Best Meany Poems
Overweight Terrier:
Porky
Yorkie
Un-cool Terrier:
Dorky
Yorkie
Spaniel dog breeder:
Cocker
Stocker
Parrot who mimics a Spaniel's bark:
Cocker
Mocker
Book on how to care for Cockers:
Spaniel
Manuel
Originally from England, a well-rounded Spaniel stays in shape by playing:
Cocker
Soccer
Then showers and dresses by its:
Cocker
Locker
Dachshund headgear:
Weenie
Beenie
Grouchy Dachshund:
Meany
Weenie
Proportionally, male Dachshunds have:
Teenie
Weenies
(But size isn't everything)
Dachshund making critcal life choices:
Eenie
Weenie...
Lassie was a level-headed dog and never engaged in:
Collie
Folly
Reared in a loving environnment, she was a rather:
Jolly
Collie
Bred in the capitol city of NC, making her a:
Raleigh
Collie
To commemorate her frequent (and often rowdy) visits to N.O. a streetcar was renamed the:
Collie
Trolley
Snoopy immigrated to the States but alas, was found not to be a:
Legal
Beagle
Thus he was deported back to England but was promptly knighted by the Queen becoming a:
Regal
Beagle
Now a celebrity, he even had an entourage of nubile young female beagles named:
Snoopy's
Groupies
Eventually, he met his soul mate, married her in Westminster Abbey and it is rumored that they engaged in numerous and somewhat kinky sessions of:
Snoopy
Whoopie
Eeney meany is what I will say
Which God shall I pray to today
It all depends on how I fee
And which one gives the better deal..
Dachshund headgear:
Weenie
Beenie
Frankfurter for a Dachshund:
Weenie
Weenie
Grouchy Dachshund:
Meany
Weenie
Proportionally, a male Dachshund has a:
Teenie
Weenie
(But size isn't everything)
Dachshund making critical life choices:
Eeenie
Weenie...
Jaws was once a frightening sight… Now Sharknados have hit the land!
And Dragon can’t wait to participate… To him it’s sushi on demand!
Lately, he’s become a bit put off, cause none have ever come near him.
But he won’t give up, cause we’re in tornado alley, don’t you know! Amen!
I almost had him believing me… That it’s a MOVIE and doesn’t, really exist.
Then, you know, a second one hit New York, now he’s really, totally, convinced!
He wants to be a Super hero, by stir-frying sharks, while they’re still up in the air.
He says, if Dragons are in movies and he exists, then, so do they… somewhere!
I can’t argue his logic, since his line-dancing penguins, are so hard, to explain.
I blocked the Sci Fi and movie channels. What else could I do? And that’s a shame!
He won’t give up on Sharknados! He’s ready, now! Yep! He really, hasn’t got a clue!
Tho I thought he was a tad bit gullible, even for a two-year-old Dragon… it’s true!
But Grandpa Troll says Dragons are all like THAT, for the first few thousand years.
He saw ‘Dragon Heart’, on TV and thinks he’ll go to Drago when he dies. Oh Dear!
So I finally, out foxed Dragon, by telling him ‘Poseidon has reigned in his sharks…’
Unfortunately, our Sunday School Teacher, and Preacher were tsk’ing at that part.
I know! I could’ve explained it better, but he also believes in Thor! I just can’t win!
He watched that movie, too! And yes! He swears all lightening comes from him!
He couldn’t wait to meet Thor so flew off, in a lightening storm. Yep! Off he flew!
All because he wanted a turn to play with Thors’ trusty hammer…Mjolnir! It’s true!
Tho Dragons are tough, he got struck, and his pride and top notch were badly singed.
Now he’s mad, at the meany, Thor and says he WON’T EVER play with him, again!
But never fear… I am here, and won’t ever give up, on this, my never-ending quest.
Still Super Heroes have taught Dragon of truth, justice, the American way and trust.
At least, he doesn’t believe in Zeus, but it’s likely, because he’s not a Super Hero Star.
One by one, I’ll fix them all, before I’m driven to that squirrel nest, amongst the stars!
She stood innocently picking her nose
Wiped green slime upon mummy’s pretty clothes
When her mum saw the mess
Even she will confess
That mum and daughter almost came to blows
Apologies for the subject .... but the challenge by John Wulf was to come up with a limerick to use with his picture
8th July 2015
There was a model, a pretty young lass,
She had an attitude ; was full of sass,
Whenever she would sneeze,
Her stomach would squeeze,
And inevitably she would pass gas.
One night she modeled in her very best
And ate prunes and dates as a guest,
On stage she strutted her stuff
And you guessed it sure enough,
She sneezed and had to change her dress.
Her husband’s name was Billy Mcfeeny
Considered by her to be a meany
He told her don’t be so sad,
It’s not really that bad
You could have been wearing a bikini !
Written for:
helping Gwendolyn giggle “ sneezing limerick contest”
Dachshund headgear:
Weenie
Beenie
Frankfurter for a Dachshund:
Weenie
Weenie
Grouchy Dachshund:
Meany
Weenie
Un-cool Terrier:
Dorky
Yorkie
A Terrier who pigs out too often might become a:
Porky
Yorkie
Spaniel dog breeder:
Cocker
Stocker
Parrot who mimics a Spaniel's bark:
Cocker
Mocker
Book on how to care for Cockers:
Spaniel
Manuel
Originally from England, a well-rounded Spaniel stays in shape by playing:
Cocker
Soccer
Then showers and dresses by its:
Cocker
Locker
Lassie was a level-headed dog and never engaged in:
Collie
Folly
Reared in a loving environment, she was a rather:
Jolly
Collie
Bred in the capitol city of NC, making her a:
Raleigh
Collie
To commemorate her frequent visits to New Orleans, a streetcar was renamed the:
Collie
Trolley
Snoopy immigrated to the States but alas, was found not to be a:
Legal
Beagle
Which of course drove:
Snoopy
Loopy
Thus he was deported back to England but was promptly knighted by the Queen becoming a:
Regal
Beagle
Now a celebrity, he is blessed with an entourage of young beagle admirers named:
Snoopy's
Groupies
*Submitted for The Funny Kid’s Poem Contest sponsored by Team Poetry Soup
Touch me with the fire that your eyes reflect,
And with the intensity that is willing to protect.
Burn me inside with your promises,
Come, do what your passion says.
I let you take me out of this place,
Before I disease--I want to see us embrace.
Break down the space in distance,
Let’s sweeten our existence.
My mouth is dry and needy,
Wake up your breath greedy.
Do not wait and hold me tight,
I’m already addicted to your bite.
I’m waiting for you to come
and give of that discharge some.
Don’t leave me in an agony and pain,
In my life you can reign.
(For you my meany)
Variations On A Theme...
Ach'n (ache Ken) Existential Struggle...
(NOT by Bellini, Paganini, Rossini...
Eeny Meany Miney Moe - si,
nor the three stooges tee hee hee)
twill never end till...this oft writ trend
of mine will never end,
only when...mortality
ike'n no longer defend!
Thus...once again, (or...as per usual),
this poem iz a boot
ruminations about bout,
who else except this ole coot
at das receiving end damned
lifetime role, and goot
raw end of deal, sans docks side of
moon efficient intervention
(teachers never gave a hoot)
as they appeared oblivious,
how moost all classmates did loot
mine emotional account, viz
cheap trick super tramp ping coot
tees reviled, renounced,
and wreaked havoc as root
of all misfortunate previous
to mine existence,
as iced (sic culled) hood
reaper remained mute
and scythe lent,
while (cue in dolorous)
melody issued from
Mose Arts magic flute,
whereat serpent (also known
in political circles as
Sally Salamander Newt
Gingrich) charmed goaded,
and relentlessly needled
Eve with snake hushed snoot,
thenceforth viper got ramrod
rigid taut as jute
of course this a fallacy as
just smore hove my fruit
fully "FAKE" pre fabric hated
discombobulated trumpeting ill suit
head prevarications – more
offal than glute
tee us expulsion, donned
as invisible faux poetic
apparel clothing with astute
cheeky effects, thus allowing,
enabling, and providing
adapt tub bull usage as zoot suit,
or as space age jumpsuit,
when I travel (with my cute Malamute
outsize prairie dog like fine home
companion) to the outer limits
of the twilight zone,
which groovy farout signals
detected by vodafone
and desperate plea made
to aliens to abduct me
(receiving an affirmative
digital binary tone)
courtesy of publishers,
unlike the negative responses,
predictably forecast, no complex koan
but clear as day -
inducing a slight inward moan,
which figurative slap in face
finding yours figuratively prone,
hence...a recurring well known
fantasy regarding plucking
this chicken (198920) heart lee
moss see rolling stone.
Never have I seen a boy
As awful as my brother.
Ugly meany took my toy.
Gonna go tell Mother.
He'll tell her I took his dime.
Tattles on me all the time,
Yells 'bout one thing or 'nother!
Selfishness means: inconsiderate, thoughtless and/or greedy
Unconcern for others only for self and being a meany
God wants us to show others that it’s all about love
The hope and caring that filters down from up above
Life is not about selfish acts or being conceited
It’s about helping others out when and where it is needed
In return God will reward you with peace, joy, liberty and freedom
Because in His eyes it’s about doing His work that’s pleasing
Let’s get out of wanting to be and doing only for self
To show God you love Him let’s show care and concern for some one else.
Galatians 5:16
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering,
gentleness, goodness, faith………
Remember when...
Getting high meant swinging on the playground,
never connected to smoke from an exhale sound
The worst thing you could get from the opposite sex were cooties,
now we risk STD’s when pursuing sexual opportunities
Your Mom or Dad was synonymous for hero,
The one you strived to be like
Never thought about all the future fights
Your enemies were only your teachers,
never friends who would later
become betrayers or now
Your greatest enemy is
Your inner me
Race issues were who ran the fastest,
not who said the most racist comments in your classes
Getting tipsy meant trying to spin your fastest,
Now we mean partying and
Getting trashed
Love and hate were just four letter words,
not sayings that could change your whole world
War was a card game,
Now just regular aspect of life
Infected with strife
The only drugs you knew were chewable,
never had to think about overdoses on Adderall or Ritalin
Girl that wore skirts didn't have to be a ****
Parties were fun times at Chuck E. Cheese,
now symbols of popularity
Eanie, meany, miney, moe
for decision making was the only way to go,
The only thing you smoked were the tires on your bike,
not what came out of a cigarette or pipe
The only thing that hurt were skinned knees,
fix by a kiss
Now broken hearts can only reminisce.
Your hardest problems could be solved with rocks, papers, scissors, shoot
not by hospitals or counselor visits
But what I remember the most was
Just wanting to grow up,
now I’m just wishing some of my birthdays never showed up.
I remember
How life used to be simple and care free,
no complexities.
It's to bad all of these now seem like
ancient history and
have become distant memories
Do you remember?
Halloweenie, Halloweenie It's, a meany, scarey time
tonight. Children dressed like scarey creatures, wagging features, will
you get home safe all right. Thunder rolling, mind controlling.
Is this what the Goulies do? Wish, Wish get on the disk, it's a scarey time tonight.
My Hero
My Hero can't leap tall buildings with a single bound. He
doesn't wear a black costume with a cape and pointy ears.
He hasn't scored the winning touchdown or shot a three -
pointer at the buzzer to win the championship. My Hero
isn't any of these things.
My Hero has scars from years of hard
surgyes and years of chemo. His hair is Bald from the years he has fought cancer His voice is deep
and sweet from the many stories he has told, and the meany songs he has sung. My Hero is all
of these things.
my hero loves his family, friends, and fans. He
made sure that we all knew we could all stand strong no matter what was wrong or what we was going thew. He taught me the importance of being strong and honest.
My Hero has done all these things.
My Hero has earned my love and respect. No one else could
take his place cause my Hero is strong, my hero is a fighter. my hero never gives up. and he has a voice of an Angel, for my hero is and all ways will be kevin sharp.
jennifer ward, 2012
She was d ice maiden,
Narcissism in full glory,
Bt behind her evry action,
Der was an untold story,
She had luvd a lil too much
Nd betrayed by one too many,
Wic had shaped her as such,
Dat she was cynical nd meany,
Relationships she now shuns,
Her quest for luv was all done,
Luv was now only for fun,
She was lonely, yet wanted no one...
Den came a devil in disguise,
Wid d most beautiful, glossy eyes,
Descending from d red tinted skies,
To evry lady in town ,he told lies,
D prettiest of dem, he wud chase
Winnin dem ovr wid gems and lace,
He took his fill frm each by turn,
The used ones den ,he wud spurn,
A chanced encounter between dem occurs,
And sparks flew frm both corners,
Cud he be different,he thought frm afar,
Nd der he felt his heart acting bizzare,
For her,he vowed to giv up his lust,
For him, she was again willing to trust,
It was a game of seek and chance
A chance to let go,nd find real romance,
Do dey find heaven or do dey find hell,
Only time shall tell,only time shall tell...