Best Lady Friend Poems


Premium Member PS Male Poets: Six Years Later

6 years ago, I wrote limericks about 5 PS poets. Today, I've posted
about another 5 and will continue to add more...  before 6 years.

I tickled funny bones of five Souper men
So, I gave thought to trying it once again
In the order they replied
My sarcasm was applied
As I gently heckled them with ink and pen

First, Tom Cunningham, who "liked my collection"
To femme limericks he had no objection
But now it's his turn
Tom, forgive the burn
I heard you're headed for a house of correction

Jerry T Curtis said to "keep them coming"
But I think that lately he's been slumming
He's all aflutter
And starts to stutter
When his lady friend starts his heart strumming

Then there is the poet of romance, Tim Smith
His sweet words of seduction are not a myth
I know it to be truth
Don't ask me. It's uncouth
I don't kiss and tell so I'm pleading the fifth

John Gondolf said my limericks made him "chuckle"
His comments are always filled with honeysuckle
But if he wants a date
I'll have to castigate
I have a black belt in the use of my knuckles

"I needed smiles and giggles," said Greg Barden
His poems are flowers blooming in a garden
But some words are couture
Fertilized with manure
Now I guess I'll have to beg for Greg's pardon

The new additions...

Like a brother he comes to my defense
This man wears no guise and has no pretense
Mark Koplin, misunderstood
A modern-day Robin Hood
To me he shines with rays of effulgence

There's a man who took me under his wing
Says what he thinks. Doesn't hold back a thing
Danny Turner, my friend
A helping hand he'll lend
For offering kind words, he's a wellspring

David Kavanagh, true friend from the start
Encouraging advice, he does impart
Throws Monoku lines like spears
I raise a glass to him ~ cheers!
Loyal, his word. A man with a good heart

Canadian, Vaso, we don't see oft
Art doesn't come across as being soft
But has a tender heart
For countries torn apart
His poetic words should never be scoffed

His funny thoughts overflow in a Flood
Terry writes humor that's never a dud
Risque, and sometimes not
His stories have a plot
Rumor has it that he's known as 'The Stud'

Gentlemen, I ask forgiveness for this spoof
My humorous parodies should be the proof
That I like all of you
And don't mind if ya do
Get even in your own limericks of reproof
© Lin Lane  Create an image from this poem.

Color Blind

Is it the color of my skin that keeps you from being my lady friend?
Tell me my African American Queen; Maybe I just lack self-esteem.
       I keep your pretty face in every dream.  I desperately want you to 
remain on my team.
       Don't be shy or afraid what others will think.
Please understand you are my hearts missing link.
       I want you beside me, never behind.
               Love is colorblind.

       Who cares if the public sees us hand in hand.
It's not for others to understand.  A black woman walking next to a white man.
       It's annoying when people stare like we are celebrities;
Especially when we attend social events and parties.
       I can tell it's during those times you're uncomfortable with me.
That causes a strain in our relationship, leaving my tank on empty.
       Inter-racial relationships have been around since the beginning of time.
It's those individuals in society that are colorblind.

       We have done nothing wrong.  The feelings of love we share must remain strong.
For so long this situation has weighed heavily on my mind.
       I'm letting the world know that love is colorblind.



Note:  Even after we celebrated our first black President, our country suffers from racism.  
Especially in prison, and it is sad.  I am bi-racial myself.  My father is caucasion while my 
mother is hispanic, and I've never understood racism--never will!

The Cost of Living

A faceless man is standing in produce.
He’s crying. No one stops.
No one asks him why.
He says the sky is falling
He says it again and again.
He grabs a passerby’s arm
and tell them it’s falling.
The passerby drops
a head of lettuce onto the floor.
A woman in tattered jeans
says the cost of meat has gone up.
A young mother
with a baby in the basket
wheels a cart of formula
and wonders how anyone
can afford to live
while outside a boy in high school
races an empty shopping cart
through the parking lot.
A woman with stringy, long hair
standing near the entrance
plays guitar
and the case is open
for dollar bills and quarters.
A weary clerk brings
in a line of carts
and says the task never ends.
The woman says life’s a show—
Bring in the clowns, she sings.
Displays of Doritos lined
up by the entrance
say buy more—
one bag is never enough.
The clerk stands near the front
and keeps his hands in his pockets
as he watches a wave of humanity
walks in and out the entrance.
The manager looks at him.
Smile, she says.
One month after his lady friend
transferred to another store
he is standing alone
in a crowd.


A Limerick Christmas Three (3) .

Mrs. Santa on last Christmas Eve
Was so naughty , at trying to deceive.
Not the slightest bit coy
When she met her toy~boy....
Now , believe what YOU want to believe .


Rudolf the randy raindeer
Took his lady friend out for a beer.
Then he took off his clothes.
Showed~off his red nose..
Saying.. who the hell said, I was *****...


What's the worst place at Christmas to be ?
Perhaps a turkey~dish laced with gravy....
It's more painful and airy
To be some poor fairy
With your +++  on the top of the tree .
 

A COOL YULE , TO ALL YOU GOOD SOUPERS.....
© Sean Kelly  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member Tickling a Man's Funny Bone: a Tribute In Spoof

I tickled funny bones of five Souper men
So I gave thought to trying it once again
In the order they replied
My sarcasm was applied
As I gently heckled them with ink and pen

First, Tom Cunningham, who "liked my collection"
To femme limericks he had no objection
But now it's his turn
Tom, forgive the burn
I heard you're headed for a house of correction

Jerry T Curtis said to "keep them coming"
But I think that lately he's been slumming
He's all aflutter
And starts to stutter
When his lady friend starts his heart strumming

Then there was the poet of romance, Tim Smith
His sweet words of seduction are not a myth
I know it to be truth
Don't ask me. It's uncouth
I don't kiss and tell so I'm pleading the fifth

John Gondolf said my limericks made him "chuckle"
His comments are always filled with honeysuckle
But if he wants a date
I'll have to castigate
I have a black belt in the use of my knuckles

"I needed smiles and giggles," said Greg Barden
His poems are flowers blooming in a garden
But some words are couture
Fertilized with manure
Now I guess I'll have to beg for Greg's pardon

Gentlemen, I ask forgiveness for this spoof
My humorous parodies should be the proof
That I like all of you
And don't mind if ya do
Get even in your own limericks of reproof
© Lin Lane  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member Captain Luna

On a horse at the crossroads a pistol in his hand
Dressed in dark clothing he looked fine and grand
Waiting in the moonlight for the York coach to appear
With cool nerves of steel; he showed no fear. 

A gentleman by day and a Highwayman by night
Only carried out his crimes when the moon shone bright
Nicknamed Captain Luna; there was a price on his head
If you didn’t part with your valuables you’d end up dead

He heard it in the distance; the approaching coach
A lady friend had requested a necklace or a brooch
He'd heard some well to do had attended a ball
They'd be dripping with jewellery; he wanted it all. 

He moved onto the road as the coach drew near
His face covered with a black mask to instill fear
He ordered the two coachmen “slow down to a stop
And throw down those bags you have on the top”. 

He then shouted to the passengers" alight if you please
And line up if you will, over yonder by them tree’s”
Three ladies and a gentleman dressed in clothes so fine 
Adorned with jewellery that twinkled, in the moonshine. 

He said “you and your fine jewellery must forever part
Please fill up my leather bag and I'll let you depart”
The ladies were crying thinking that they'd all die
They thought anything Captain Luna said would be a lie. 

He went through the bags and pulled out a silk dress 
And thought to himself this will fit my lady friend Tess
He picked up his leather bag and into the night rode away 
Leaving his victims quite shaken and in total disarray. 


Written 15th day of April 2020.


Premium Member Winnie, Mickey, and Minnie

“Edward Bear” is this creature’s official name.
However, as “Winnie the Pooh”, he has achieved fame.
He is another great Disney creation.
Winnie is a product of creative animation.

Have you ever seen a cartoon titled “Steamboat Willie”?
That was the first appearance of a mouse named “Mickey”.
He has a cute little lady friend we all call “Minnie”.
They are also products of animations.
Together, they have entertained several generations.

For many more generations, they will stick around.
In Disney animated features they all can be found.

Robert Pettit
January 24, 2013

Premium Member A Haiku From a Lady Friend

Canada's my home
So I've known real cold before
Nipples scratched my car

© Jack Ellison 2015

The Woes of Trust

An angel formed from 
lake of purity,a gift to 
mankind-illuminating 
darkest parts of hearts.
A chaste damsel,
untouched rose from the 
garden of the elves.

Sent to earth,made an 
abode in a gentleman's 
heart,whom she 
cherished and loved.

As time travelled,another 
fella whom she trusted 
lured her to un-saintly act
Her pride laid on altar of 
dishonor and infidelity.
Her life she almost 
snuffed,she feared the 
love of her true love 
would be lost. Alas! bond 
of love is indivisible.

Shattered,with a broken 
spirit she tries to mend 
the pieces....on the 
shoulder of her lover she 
leans,hoping to soothe 
her bruised heart.



Note:
A true story,a close 
pretty lady friend of mine 
was raped by her family 
friend yesterday...who 
called her and told her 
his mum was very sick.
She called me and 
confided in me .
Don't know whether to 
encourage her to call the 
police.

Dear Block Poet

Dear blockpoet 
      I think you got me confused with someone that cares,   It's lovely how you enjoy accusing anyone who is not in your corner. I hope the cow suit helps your self esteem. I did not deserve the harassing letters, you and your lady friend sent. I speak to whomever I want on this site.   No one voices me, but my mother you are a dirty casino, with no payout at all.   I will not let you bully me the same way you do others. Thank you for sending your patheticness through the mail. I'm a young adult, and still found myself violated by you.
You are very disgusting, I'm not as naive as you think I am. 
Mr. You messed with the wrong 18 year old.  Next time you want to bully little girls, think twice.  I have a father, a mother. I sent the threatening soupmail to the superiors of this site.   Nothing I said to anyone on your blog was offensive. Does it help blocking the poets who stood up for others. I left a good comment, about the woman you constantly enjoy bullying. 

  To answer your question.  Your blog was highly recommended. I never did a thing to you, I hope you feel better and sleep well at night knowing you just bullied this 18 year old. 

Belly
100% Chica pride
© Belly Bell  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member For a Lady Friend

The destiny pulled me 
Away from a matrimony,
Luckily, our friendship survived.
Thousand girls passed by my life,
Left thousand dreams flourished
In the garden of melancholy
To craft the broken heart poetry:
My love is like a fruit tree.

Your shape, your smile,
And your friendly eyes
Revived on thousand wallpapers;
Induced my ink as the endless river;
Sweet words floated on the rainy days
And lemony lyrics on dried.  
Our love story made my pen cried
In the torrent of days and nights.

On my fluky walkway
The love flowers never decay.
The perfume poetry spread along,
You helped me to put pretty songs,
From a humble, honest heart,
To delight world’s feast days.   
Your sweet voice ever stays
In my artistry bouquet.

Like roses encircled by bees
Ever though your figure adhered me.
Lonely  at night, I admire the sky,
The flashing stars of your smiles,
Encouraged my dreaming
 On the long road of the literacy,
You shared a favor authority
By letting your mind escorted me.

Our hearts united gratefully,
Forever in our souls remain friendly.   
You’re the lady, who changed my life,
The profound power of my mind.
Refilled my pen with your soul-ink,
The multicolored ink for artistry:
The outpouring in my poetry. 
You signed your name for eternity.

Mary Had a Little Ham - Invited Me For Dinner

My lady friend Mary invited me over one day to have a little ham
So, I put on my big heavy coat and my fur hat and grabed a digital cam
It was late in November and the streets were white with snow
But when Mary invited me over for some ham, I was sure to go
Now I also want to mention that come spring little Mary
Becomes a different person, quite to the contrary
Last spring I asked her, Mary, Mary...(she's hard hearing) "how does your garden 
grow?"
Well, she just went sort of weird on me and and replied: "sheeps in the meadow 
and cows in the corn"........  
I could tell that she was a "Little Girl Blue",  so I just went over and for her I did 
blow my horn
But after a little while (the ham was gone)..  so Jack (me) I was nimble about it and 
sort of quick
I turned all of a sudden and just jumped right on over her candle stick
I had my digital camera with me though and did take her picture, but no more talk
And what do you know when I steped outside I ran right into this bean stalk....
Well it was more than I could resist, so I climbed it....  and so it just went on and on 
Till it was gone.........   And so am I............     Real Gone.........

A Longer Limerick.

One Mayday the girls of Penzance,
                            Being rather board with the lacy of romance,
                                                   Joined a Parade,
                                       With there Banners displayed,
                                          Offering sex to the Yanks;
                                     One was a Lady from Pecking,
                              Who indulged in a great deal of necking,
                                       But it seemed such a waste,
                                    Since she claimed to be chaste,
                           But that statement however, neads checking,
                                  Another young Lady from London's west,
                                  Had on an ankle length string vest,
                                        But there were some holes,
                                         For the respectable souls,
                            So she could have sex while  dressing
                        Now another young woman from Southend,
                                Had intended a love'ing week end,
                                         She waved to her mate,
                                             Good golly I'm late,
                                For her mate had a new lady friend,
                                                           "BY' 
                                        " THE WARRIOR POET"
                                                    "E.J.Healy."
                                        ..........................................

A Ride With Mom

A Ride With Mom


All alone in bed
Tonight I am dreaming of the dead

Mom and I were in the car driving
I had no idea where we would be arriving

It was a sunny day
Mom didn’t have much to say

Then suddenly I awoke
This ride was no joke

All these questions in my head
This always happens to me with a visit from the dead

What did Mom want to tell me
Did she just want to share Thanksgiving Glee

So now Mom’s presence in my dream
Sends me to my desk to write down my mental stream

I haven’t dream’t of Mom in years
Not since the Funeral Fears

It’s Two AM in the mourn
Writing this poem is this how Love is born

I will tell my new Lady Friend
About my dream and what I have penned

Did Mom want to hear about Caroline
The Spanish Mexican Beauty who is Divine

Long Luscious Black Hair
A Beautiful Face Beyond Compare

An Angel’s Voice
I have no choice

Her spell is starting to take hold of me
The sight of her can send any man to his knee

Her aroma is intoxicating
I think she is much more than a Fall Fling

Saturday I will give her a purple and white rose
This woman has driven me to write prose

Well I guess it is my turn to take a Female Chance
Maybe we will both find romance

Is this why Mom took me for a ride tonight
To show me my search for Love is finally in sight

Only time will tell if Mom is right
That Caroline will be my darling delight

Beloved Physician

The majority of the following poem was
lost forever, except for a portion recalled 
by the author's lady friend, many years after 
his untimely death. I will post the recollections
of Mrs. Shew-Houghton first, followed by my own
additions (appearing in ALL CAPS). 

The Beautiful Physician (Poe's last poem)

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God nerve the soul that ne’er forgets
In calm or storm, by night or day,
Its steady toil, its loyalty.

[. . .]

[. . .]

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God shield the soul that ne’er forgets.

[. . .]

[. . .]

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God guide the soul that ne’er forgets.

[. . .]
 
[. . .] so tired, so weary,
The soft head bows, the sweet eyes close,
The faithful heart yields to repose. 


Beloved Physician 
© EA Poe & Ben Burton (1849 & 2015)

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God nerve the soul that ne’er forgets
In calm or storm, by night or day,
Its steady toil, its loyalty.

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God BLESS the soul that ne’er forgets
THE PAPERS EARNED THROUGH STEADY TOIL
GREAT PASSION BURNING MIDNIGHT OIL

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God SAVE the soul that ne’er forgets.
AND LOITERS NOT FOR RECOMPENSE
BUT HEEDS THE FIRST CALL TO ATTEND

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God LIGHT the soul that ne’er forgets.
THE GENTLE SMILE BEFORE THE CUT
WITH CONFIDENCE, THE CALMING HUSH

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God LEAD the soul that ne’er forgets
WITH KNOWLEDGE EARNED, AND SKILLS APPLIED
BY NIMBLE HAND, INCISIVE EYE

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God shield the soul that ne’er forgets.
FIRST DO NO HARM, THEN DO WHAT'S BEST
WHEN ALL ROADS FAIL, THE INFORMED GUESS

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God guide the soul that ne’er forgets.
IN PLAGUE AND WAR, THE NUMBERS MASS
IN DOUBLE TIME, REVEAL THE PATH

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
God SHOW the soul that ne’er forgets.
WITH HEART RATE DROPPING STEADILY
LAST RITES INSPIRE ETERNITY

The pulse beats ten and intermits;
ALAS, BESET WITH WEARINESS
The soft head bows, the sweet eyes close,
The faithful heart yields to repose.
© Ben Burton  Create an image from this poem.

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