Best Irritate Poems
Dewdrops cling to blades of green grass,
like sparkling drops of liquid glass.
And at sunrise, as songbirds sing;
to blades of green grass, dewdrops cling.
With wondrous wings, butterflies fly;
a flash of color in the sky.
One of Nature's prettiest things:
butterflies fly with wondrous wings.
Crickets stridulate for a mate,
relying on the whims of fate.
And though their chirps can irritate,
seeking mates, crickets stridulate.
Gardenia blooms in Summer's heat;
a fragrant, sweet, sensual treat.
While clad in green and white costumes,
in Summer's heat, gardenia blooms.
Shadows merge, diminishing day;
as a setting sun slips away.
And flowing like a tidal surge;
diminishing day; shadows merge.
St Helens, volatile lady,
Is letting off some steam.
She is seething now with anger.
We know not to what extreme.
I remember the eruption in
The year of ninety-eighty.
That fierce outburst proved her to be
A quite hot-headed lady.
She will not tell what ticked her off.
She gets her satisfaction,
Not from talk or boastfulness.
She articulates with action.
So take your puny instruments
And foolish speculations.
She well may have surprise in store
Beyond all expectations.
Don't tramp on her abundant skirts;
That tends to irritate her.
This lady's incensed enough now,
You're foolish if you bait her.
She's given you fair warning
And if you take her dare
You can't run far enough to get
Her ash out of your hair.
By Joyce
(I think this is how Robert Lindley will reply, if at all...)
I wonder why you'd hate me,
Maybe because I'm kindly,
But you don't irritate me,
I will not judge you blindly...
You can't stop me from writing,
I won't stoop to distress you,
I forgive your backbiting,
And just say, "May God bless you!"
11/22/17
Contest: Judgmental people and haters
Sponsor: Brenda Chiri
(Those who know Robert Lindley can vouch for his kindheartedness, friendliness and encouraging words to everyone.... And those who hate him, I can only say, "The loss is yours".)
He will make everything fabulous
Wait and see
He has a way of doing things
He knows what needs to be done first
And every step thereafter
He knows how to do things
Plan things and make things to come
We don’t even have to worry about the details of it
He is in control
Every minute second
He is on top of it
Don’t sweat, hyperventilate, exasperate
Irritate, gripe, aggravate
The Maker of this world is presiding
In charge
Why agonize, discompose, fret, nervous
While the Father has of hold on his making
God meant for us to enjoy things
Life and everything goes with it
Don’t be a grouch, a wreck, a grumbler
A troublemaker, a moaner, a nitpicker
God meant for you to be happy
Live life, sing a song, dance a storm
Make someone happy
Make yourself happy
Take delight in what you do
Take pleasure in what you accomplished
Be pleased
Get a kick out of things not called for, earned
Have a ball
Have fun
Live a little
God rules
You irritate me.
You touched your daughter.
Actually, you touch not just yours,
but God’s!
You sick and twisted man.
You try your hardest to get it in
But she knows better than to let you.
You detest what a father should be
and act like nothing happens after.
All this, you see, will just past away
is what you say.
But no, Memories last through time.
Who could forget what you did?
You sick and twisted man.
But one thing irritates me the most,
how this has affected her soul,
how this affected her outlook on life.
how this has been embedded in her,
making her feel like a computer with a virus.
You sick and twisted man.
I want to do bad things to you,
like kill you,
or banish you to hell.
But, I have been taught “we also forgive us who sins against us”.
So I forgive you, and love on you as if you are me.
it is written “Love your neighbor as yourself”
and I will.
You lost and forgiven man.
Lying gets you nowhere in life.
It will cut you just like a knife.
Don’t tell a lie it does no good.
Tell the truth like you know you should.
Liars irritate me so bad.
They hurt my heart and make me sad.
We all have lied and said it's small,
knowing we should not lie at all.
Lying will put you in a rut.
We should just keep our big trap shut.
Lying will find its way back to,
show you no one believes in you.
You will begin to live your lies.
You'll look foolish in others eyes.
I know people that lie so much.
They use their stories like a crutch.
Liars lie right to our faces,
about time, money or places.
All these lies will catch up in time.
for all of them I'd take a dime.
Telling the truth is really rare.
People tell lies without a care.
I can't handle lies told to me.
Honesty is what's really key.
I've lost friends over silly lies,
knowing it's something I despise.
Lies are easy to spread around.
Spend your time where the truth is found.
Just tell the truth and you'll go far.
It doesn’t matter who you are.
Do not tell lies take it from me.
It is not who you want to be.
2/13/2017
Cancer
I loathe and detest you
If I'm honest, I really HATE you
I despise the way
You keep popping up to irritate us
like a smirking floating turd
Which we’d love to flush away forever
Attempts were made to eradicate you
Skilled surgeons tried to cut you out
But you were like a ‘cling on’ in the toilet of life
And you wouldn’t be brushed aside
Six years passed…
Then more intervention was needed
A radiation machine called ‘Holly’
Tried to zap you like a pesky mosquito
But you had other ideas
Four years passed
More specialised SABR radiation was required
We treated that week like a short break
Going on day trips on non treatment days
And enjoying life to the full
Two years on
Cancer has raised its ugly face once again
The specialist laughed when hubby said
“We will treat it like a week’s holiday”
Having a positive attitude is a must!
Cancer – you crept into our lives
People see you as a silent killer
But I will never be silent and de-turd
And we will continue to celebrate
How we’re beating the crap out of you!
Indians, Chiefs, Braves, Warriors, Redskins and Vikings!
Seems the politically correct crowd is upset with such things!
They're disturbed that sports teams bearing such names are a disgrace,
And that they humiliate and debase the dignity of folks of any given race!
It just so happens that with the PC crowd I have a little beef!
I'm a CHIEF Master Sergeant and Once a CHIEF - Always a CHIEF!
I earned a most worthy title that seems to irritate that pitiful crowd;
Try to take it away from me if you dare, but I'm not so easily cowed!
Robert L. Hinshaw, Chief Master Sergeant, USAF, Retired
Aware of one's carnal human nature
I confess my own nastiness feature
as well as the lurking rudeness gesture
amidst obviously arrogant posture
irking others in their wholesome venture.
Those traits likewise irritate me indeed
I admit thus with the hurts they can breed
since actual focus is selfishness-creed
in the guise of "rights' exercise I need"
not minding well-being's call for care-heed.
For such, I apologize earnestly
The Lord’s pardon my soul begs fervently
needing His love to move me sincerely
while wishing that kindness I show truly
with faith in Christ and peace to share surely.
My heart prays for the reigning of kindness*
against attacking grievous bitterness
brought by bullies along their haughtiness
or fellows in their miserableness ---
so that hope will shine in glowing brightness.
*Psalm 31:21 Blessed be the LORD: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness…
December 28, 2021
2nd place, "King-Size Bull Crap" Rhyme Poetry Writing Contest
Sponsored by Charles Messina; judged on 1/18/2022.
We knock off books,
it’s what we do.
We knock off books,
so librarian, Kit Mew
will have to put them back, you see,
We turned Kit Mew, into a busy bee.
We knock off books,
to irritate;
we knock off books,
till very late.
Kit Mew hates mice but,
she won’t catch us;
we hide in the walls and
we’re always above.
We knock off books,
we make a mess;
Old Kit Mew
can’t pass our tests.
because all of the books we knock off shelves,
we always love to, read ourselves.
Hey Kit, Hey Mew
There’s just us two.
Two mice who like to
aggri-va-a-a-te you.
C’mon Kit Mew, just put them back,
don’t give us any Meow’y flack.
I can’t always remember what I said
So maybe these may be words you’ve already read
But once I get a line in my head
I can’t always remember what I’ve just said
I like to try and entertain with my humour
Brits have no talent – well that’s just a rumour
But once I get a poem in my head
I can’t always remember what I’ve just read
Have I told you this line before
I may be repeating – sorry I’m a bore
But once I get a thought in my head
I can’t always remember what I’ve just said
My dear old mum she has dementia*
She’s repeats herself or loses her dentures
Sadly once she gets a thought in her head
She can’t remember what she’s just said.
26th April 2014
Written for ‘Irritate Me’ Contest
Sponsored by Charlotte Puddifoot
*Mum's dementia/memory issues aren't too bad at the moment this bit is poetic licence, but sadly over time she is getting worse
I want to confess as I have committed a sin,
Sitting idly in my emotional incapacities
Conscious that this is only television screen.
I see people being butchered like flies therein
Women being gang-raped in large degrees
I want to confess as I have committed a sin.
The school kids getting burnt alive within,
Due to the negligence causing short circuits,
Conscious that this is only television screen.
With mere curiosity I watch each of the scenes,
I want to cry, get angry but can’t, my apologies!
I want to confess as I have committed a sin
I am taught not to dwell long on any scene,
As I can view next day’s batch of goodies
Conscious that this is only television screen.
All of my emotions whirled into the screen
Getting a call for hangout from my buddies.
I want to confess as I have committed a sin
Conscious that this is only television screen.
+++++++
May 2, 2014
Form: Villanelle
Fourth Place win
Contest: Irritate Me by Charlotte Puddifet
By definition, to irritate;
but easy on the palate.
The footle is a witty poem,
written picture rhyme.
Semantics seals its fate
We write to enjoy the style,
to sport, to bring a smile
from double meaning jest.
Gives our minds a rest
without defame or rile.
Colorful as a noun
to be put down
in the bottom of the box.
Victim of paradox.
Living in abject brown.
© Jun 15 2010 Charles Henderson
I have searched for hours and not found any definition
referring to the footle as a poem, or even as a noun.
No official recognition.???????????
She spurs me on
Like a violent wind.
She howls to me in the night
Like a siren.
Her light is red as blood.
My flesh is cold as steel.
Sweet dew is a nectar.
She gathers it with teacups,
Stirs it with a bent finger,
Tastes the life-blood of earth,
Singing silently in her mind.
There is no need for sound.
She reads to me patiently
As to a child.
I listen, and interrupt.
Her voice is as piercing
As a Bene Gesserit.
I tremble with violence.
Tomorrow we may dance together
In the steely dawn.
The shutters are down;
The gowns flow all red and black.
Surely some secret is at hand.
I make my bed by morning.
There is no sleeping there,
Only turning like a storm,
Kicking in the night,
Wanting to seize the force,
The everlasting.
The aperture is open
The glass is clear as day.
I revel in in it .
I soak and darken in my soul
Like a sunspot.
There is no need for singing.
Praise be to almighty Thor
Or whoever carries the club
And hangs a tooth about his neck.
They are one, those restless ones.
They are not meek, nor tidy.
Each day begins with them.
Secretly as a cloud,
Those forms appear,
They evaporate again.
Most useful is their image,
They do not irritate the skin
Or pulverize the mind.
Frankly, it is beyond the pale
What mortals fear and would revere.
Beating a drum might drive away
The awful dream
Or call in reinforcements,
Conjuring a pleading battle cry.
*I Hate You Like* (For: Brittany Moon) Her Tiny Request**
I hate you like the Eclipse of the sun and moon======
Lightning, thunder, twisters,and Hurricane # 7 destruction upon my hate=
I hate you like the father who walked out on us======
Hating you is the only way we can relate==========
Fire, burn, heat , and smoke, igniting the hate in flames=
I hate you like the lion who can't wait to devour his prey====
I hate you like ivy with poison to irritate ==============
I hate you indeed, deeper than the abyss in space========
Black, ebony, coal, and darkness you fell in my pit of hate===
I hate you and dispise all your living ways=========
I hate you because I want to==========
I hate you and nothing compares===============
I hate the living guts out of you ================
________________________________________________________________________
*A note from Brittany Moon*
*Written by: P.D. as a request from me (an opposition to my original poem: I Love You
Like)...thank you P.D. for your awesome talent ((BY: Brittany Moon))
________________________________________________________________________
Commented by: Deborah Guzzi :- ) ------
naww like the taste of curdled milk...my mouths tastes my hate for you...
like the painful lingering scen of skunk on a precious cat...my hate for you clings...
gumming up my mind like bubble gum in a braid....
smooch (( that is why I love Ya Teach)) p.d.