Best Farts Poems

I love to fart, it stands me tall,
the raucous rumbling, belly bell,
all look around with eyes aghast,
to witness such a mighty  blast.

when before the beak for slander foul,
I gave him one that made him scowl,
“does Sir require a time alone?”
I farted down his crony’s...

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There just isn't enough febreeze
to rid the room of the haze
Of a dog fart, strong and silent
It kind of puts you in a daze

It kind of sneaks in, then it hits you
An olfactory h-bomb in your face
Meanwhile, he just lies there
He's wiped the room with...

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Paint me with your purple passion
Give me a red reasons to ration
My soul food hot and old fashioned 
Melting like butter won’t be lasting 
In my heart love isn’t lacking
Let lips spark body thrashing
True love is art no one acting
Sending to stars like ship casting
Despite...

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There’s nothing like a mother in law.
My mother in law is quite a trip.
Every time she gets up from a chair 
she has to let one rip.

I mean, you will never participate
in a fart like one of these.
You know without a doubt 
who cracked that...

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Here I sit, the screen is blank
Nothing is coming to mind
I search and search my tiny brain
For a theme of any kind

Nothing doing, my brain is numb
It's happened to me before
When it happens panic takes over
I pace up and down the floor

Wait a minute something's...

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The skunk farts
fox squeaks and moves away...
defensive trait





Category:doobutsu;       Kigo:skunk


Olusegun Arowolo...

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Sue constantly gobbles her food
Then belches, it sounds rather rude
Next thing she starts farting
Foul stench is departing
From parties folk now Sue exclude

I’m having a party tonight
Sue pleaded to have an invite
I put black charcoal powder
In her portion of chowder
Sue’s buttocks stayed clenched very tight!

Sue purchased...

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Blue whale fart bubbles are big enough to swallow a horse
Can't imagine how they know, must have an underwater source 
Maybe a smartass starfish
With a human-like gift
Thinks he's world-famous and looks great in fish shorts...

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Funny Farts
______________________

It's really kinda funny,
the sounds the body makes
although it's really gross
the laughter it creates.

Some make a tootie toot,
while others blow a horn
some fizzle before they start
while another big boom is born.

Sometimes they squeak like mice,
but some are loud like thunder
I suppose it's from what...

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Dear wife Cathie is always saying
“Ain't no insanity in our family
Coz you dear hubby, you have it all”
Overflowing with a bunch of sillies

“You don't leave any for anyone else”
Pretty damn heartless of me
Sorry I don't mean to be a great big hog
Been loony since the...

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this company is heading straight to the top
with our new improved line of fairy farts
soon our catch phrase will be all over the place
a slight touch of magic in a jar

first and foremost a disclaimer though
in the making of farts not one fairy was harmed
we...

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It is always at Christmas that I feel the spirits
     of my family the most 
and as I unwrap the Christmas tree decorations
               that I inherited from...

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Here I sit, the screen is blank
Nothing is coming to mind
I search and search my tiny brain
For a theme of any kind

Nothing doing, my brain is numb
It's happened to me before
When it happens panic takes over
I pace up and down the floor

Wait a minute something's...

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LAUGHS AND FARTS



I laugh at Jan's bawdy poems with farts - and her use of body parts



01/10/2021
Contest: Tease A friend 
Sponsor:Bobby May...

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Mum’s quite unhappy with me I can tell
we’re on our way to do lots of shopping,
but I’ve passed wind it’s a terrible smell -
she is driving and there is no stopping!

We’re on our way to do lots of shopping
I love to go out with mum...

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