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Farts

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Dear wife Cathie is always saying “Ain't no insanity in our family Coz you dear hubby, you have it all” Overflowing with a bunch of sillies “You don't leave any for anyone else” Pretty damn heartless of me Sorry I don't mean to be a great big hog Been loony since the age of three Rating my farts is really important Tells me if my diet's working good Too much fibre, and that obnoxious odour Can foul up the whole neighbourhood Realize this is not a subject for a poem But I had to unload it on someone What are friends for but to help out friends To help in control of one's bum Dear wife Cathie is always saying Ain't no insanity in our family! © Jack Ellison 2013

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Jon A Cavanaugh

Date: 11/6/2013 7:17:00 AM

Gave me a chuckle jack. Yep. You've got a funny one here. BTW I heard some advice for us old farts that I'll share. It goes as follows: Never pass up a chance to take a pee and never trust a fart.

Jack Ellison
Date: 11/6/2013 7:29:00 AM

"Never trust a fart!"!!!!! Sure know all about that! LOL Ain't the golden years a blast... ha ha... very appropriate term! Have a blast today!

Audrey Haick

Date: 11/4/2013 11:07:00 PM

LOL!! Love the insanity, Jack..Missed you! .x Annalise

Jack Ellison
Date: 11/5/2013 4:49:00 AM

Still here... still a wee bit insane!!!! Missed you too sweetie! Love and big hugs xoxox

Delysia Hendricks

Date: 11/4/2013 6:38:00 PM

LOL, you bugger!!! You're a riot, my friend. You sure know how to entertain us Soupers. You naughty Jack // step to the back // no, further still. Go far beyon' // you've my head on the spin // not from charm within // but rather your “eau de colon”.

Jack Ellison
Date: 11/4/2013 7:09:00 PM

How did I know you'd get a kick out of this silly bit of naughtiness! LOL We are cut from the same cloth or something like that dear Licia!!! SILLINESS REIGNS! Woo hoo! Hugs, Bugger Jack xoxoxoxox

Poet Tacito

Date: 11/4/2013 4:01:00 PM

This had me rolling. Amusing piece! =D

Jack Ellison
Date: 11/4/2013 4:05:00 PM

Ooops slipped up again... sorry! And this such an important subject! This Jack guy eh... LOL

Jack Ellison
Date: 11/4/2013 4:03:00 PM

You're a riot Miss Judy!!! Maybe it will solve the energy crisis one day!!! Love and big hugs, the Jackster!!! xoxox

Judy Konos

Date: 11/4/2013 3:58:00 PM

WORD OF THE DAY: Congressing :::::::::::::::::::::::: Wasting time and energy. Being generally unproductive even though you have a lot of very important "stuff" to do.. . . DEAR POLITICIANS:::::::Maybe you can contain Jacks effervescence and help lower the price of gasoline.......

Jack Ellison
Date: 11/4/2013 4:06:00 PM

You're a riot Miss Judy!!! Maybe it will solve the energy crisis one day!!! Love and big hugs, the Jackster!!! xoxox

Carol Eastman

Date: 11/4/2013 3:52:00 PM

Dragon says his farts don't stink... Well, not when he sparkle farts, anyway... It's like a built in match... LOL... But my roses are another story... I've thought of laying in wait with the hose in hand... It works for cats! Why not Dragons? Who wants a rose with 'Ode de Toilet' smell... This is war!... Well actually no more than normal... LOL

Jack Ellison
Date: 11/4/2013 4:07:00 PM

Now that's something to strive for... sparkling farts!!!! LOL Great big hugs... not too tight though, because........

Russell Sivey

Date: 11/4/2013 2:56:00 PM

Nope, cuz you got all the insanity rolled all into one my friend! I thoroughly loved reading this inspiring poem here this afternoon my friend! What a glorious piece, such a tremendous poem, Great Work!!

Jack Ellison
Date: 11/4/2013 2:58:00 PM

Hmmm! A subject for a poem??? LOL