Best Advertising Poems
After vet bills, chewed shoes and squeaky toys, there are no 'free' puppies
Most TV adverts are a waste of time
But useful when you need a cup of tea,
You can turn the sound down and watch them mime,
Most TV adverts are a waste of time.
I'll never buy the things they show but I'm
Most grateful how the break enables me,
Most TV adverts are a waste of time
But useful when you need a cup of tea.
Let’s walk you through the Advertising world
Where people are ideating in search of a pearl
They are brainstorming on a client brief you see
Where no head or tail is transparent to be
The client is king for all you know
At times he argues to get his pricing low
His main aim is maximum profit to show
With minimum man power and lots to flow
The art director is busy drawing his thoughts
Looks like he got caught in his mind of little knots
While the copywriter is scribbling down the row
thinking of ideas to blow the directors bow
ops!
The graphics designer is pleading for no more
Coz he is the last man standing holding the show
He changes the designs as per the director’s nose
His mind is blown and wished he could say no
But he is stuck like the yes man holding the door
His creative juices are exhausted like a
Banana which can’t blow
And as the competition rises, the teamwork blows
No one united as individuals vie the show
While time is clicking as the deadline is near
It’s time to go home but wait a new brief has come
and it’s not so clear
Oh hell no!
It’s the weekend coming and I hope it’s not work
Coz we don’t get paid overtime in the field of Advertising lurks
Oh no!!!
Don't you just hate it
when you dig a spectacular hole
only to realize that you can't get out?
What's worse is when you
advertise the event, before having practiced,
and now the whole town is here simply by word of mouth.
Umm
ummmm really?
You who are so
glib with the phrase.
Get a life, love ifya can and smile
frequently.
k, so another idea,
rock on
~N
yep
I went on-line to find a man- the man of my dreams,
but the pickin's were few and I was desperate,
so when this guy said, hey S E X Y girl want to meet,
I jumped to attention and we set up a date.
Oh, I made myself up so p r e t t y ,
the mirror never lies!
And at the appointed time, I was at the coffee shop.
A man walked in- HOLY MACARONI, hope that's not him!
YIKES! He is looking at me with a crooked smile.
I squint my eyes are those missing teeth?
He is coming closer and closer to my table,
SON OF A WITCH, does the guy have a neck or what,
its just a head placed on wide WIDE shoulders,
I want to sink into the floor!
H e l l o , he says looking down on my lovely head,
you look just like your picture BEAUTIFUL.
I look up at him, aaaah, you don't
look like your picture Sir, no Sireee you don't
Well, I admit he said that picture is twenty years old,
oh GOSH and darn it and @@@%%%$$###
how do I get out of this mess.
So after some PAINFUL conversation,
I excuses me self for the little GIRLIE room,
and go straight through to the kitchen
desperate for departure I ask the startled dishwasher
for the E X I T-
and I ran all the way home, slammed the door,
got in my bed and pulled up the covers over my head.
HOLY SMOKES that was just c r a z y -
I am not that DESPERATE or Z A N Y to do that EVER again.
____________________________
November 27, 2016
Poetry/Burlesque/FALSE Advertising
Copyright Protected, ID 16-853-383-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Written for the contest, Zany,
sponsor, Frank Herrara
Third Place
(I wrote this a while back on seeing an
ad for a well-known diet food)
I
see two
pictures, one
“before” and one
“after.” In the first,
the girl looks normal, much
like me. In the second, she
wears a size 4 bikini, but
looks a bit too thin. So what’s to make
me want to start starving on their diet?
Professionals Resort to Advertising
By Elton Camp
There was a day when it wasn’t thought wise
That any professional person should advertise
Solicitations were never seen
Lest the professional it demean
So unseemly it then did appear
“Come get your operation here.”
“Let me handle your trial for you.
For no other lawyer as well will do.”
“Come to me to pull your tooth.
I am so skilled, it is the truth.”
But those ideas are no longer so,
They having changed years ago
On billboards, doctors now appear
Lawyers, to boast, no longer fear
A doctor’s advertisement may say
“If I kill you, you don’t have to pay”
“I’ll win your case, sure as can be
If not, then my law service is free.”
I wouldn’t be shocked on any day to see
A professor’s, “Get your credits with me.”
(ads from the 70's and 80's)
If a diamond is forever,
then love is the San Francisco treat.
Just a little dab’ll do ya
so be all that you can be.
It’s the cheesiest, so just do it
you can have it your way.
So reach out and touch someone
it’s the best part of waking up.
And like a good neighbor, there’s
love and no more tears.
Once you pop, you can’t stop for
nobody does it like Sara Lee.
She lets her fingers do the walking
promise her anything, but give her love.
She’s come a long way baby
and brings good things to life.
But when it rains, I see it pours
and I deserve a break today.
For a mind is a terrible thing to waste
does she…or doesn’t she?
Her love is good to the last drop
so don’t treat your puppy like a dog!
Celebrate the moments of your life,
And don’t leave home without them.
I fly her friendly skies, they’re great
and I can have it my own way.
Keeps going, and going, and going
She is the pause that refreshes.
Takes a licking and keeps on ticking
nothing comes between me and my girl.
She tastes great though her love is less filling
I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!
(click on pic to buy my poetry book!)
Shall I compare thee unto a crate of beer,
or, if not that, then unto washing powder?
Today I shun all things that are austere;
soft tones must yield to songs that are far louder.
May's shandy was for working men too sweet.
Newcastle Brown for them is much more dandy.
Reese-Mogg appealed but to the high elite.
It's Boris now who's dealing out the candy.
His soap suds as detergents wash much whiter
and his packaging's so appealing to the eye.
My desire 's for something that's much brighter
than the dowdy hues of Mr. Corbyn's dye.
Boris we hail victor, for'tis he who's won the day.
To his product though a question. Who art thou anyway?
They advertised this job would be fun.
We'd feel satisfaction when day's done.
They didn't mention sore feet
Or our desire to retreat
Or that we'd never again see sun.
Watching Television as any of
us does i asked myself this
question
How come our current government regarding television advertisements targeting audiences is focused
on big corporation companies
Wishes or seeks to place such
high value on protecting children
from fast food chain and fizzy drink
advertising
Yet the same protection doesn't
apply to our vulnerable elderly
My Mother religiously watches
ITV 3 and it doesn't take a detective
or genius to figure out why
As she is of pension age and so
to is the type of program scheduled
on it
And in between quarterly on the
hour the advert breaks loop on
repeat virtually the same as the
programs themselves
A multitude of charities with
different causes in search
of just £2 a month or most
prized of all a donation to be
left in your will
Because is it not the child but parent
who both picks and purchases
the shopping from the store
A child doesn't cook or shop
they merely eat or drink what's
placed in front of them
But a pensioner all alone sat
at home with no friends or family
to call upon is fair game if deemed
to be of fair and sound mind
As long as they have money and
it's for a charitable cause then
what's the problem no harm no
foul
In fact if anything we are actually
providing them a service and doing them a favor by making them feel good and worthy once again
But if the same rules then apply could
the same defense be used or inferred
Otherwise what's the difference between
the aged and the young or for that
matter charities and corporations
in-flight convergence
by Michael R. Burch
serene, almost angelic,
the lights of the city extend
over lumbering behemoths
shrilly screeching displeasure
they say:
that nothing is certain,
that nothing man dreams or ordains
long endures his command
here the streetlights that flicker
and those blazing steadfast
seem one: from a distance;
descend?
they abruptly
part ways
so that nothing is one
which at times does not suddenly blend
into garish insignificance
in the familiar alleyways,
in the white neon flash
and the billboards of Convenience
and man seems the afterthought of his own Brilliance
as we thunder down the enlightened runways
Love the ad, above this poem,a woman with hanging jowls?
Makes me laugh, not scowl!
Another one, had a word that rhymes with dart!
Obnoxious ads, with which I want no part!
6/10/2021
ChatGPT
You said:
What type of writing is false ad
False Advertising
No judgment... My truth…
Makeup is to enhance, not to mask or even obliterate
the existing canvas…
Padded bras and body shapers are body makeup…
Plastic surgery is inside out false advertising…
Masks represent unease to shame…
I know…
I used to represent and resemble masks…
Comfortable with and in my own skin is priceless and worthy to pursue…
Sherry Barton
April 27, 2024