False Advertising
I went on-line to find a man- the man of my dreams,
but the pickin's were few and I was desperate,
so when this guy said, hey S E X Y girl want to meet,
I jumped to attention and we set up a date.
Oh, I made myself up so p r e t t y ,
the mirror never lies!
And at the appointed time, I was at the coffee shop.
A man walked in- HOLY MACARONI, hope that's not him!
YIKES! He is looking at me with a crooked smile.
I squint my eyes are those missing teeth?
He is coming closer and closer to my table,
SON OF A WITCH, does the guy have a neck or what,
its just a head placed on wide WIDE shoulders,
I want to sink into the floor!
H e l l o , he says looking down on my lovely head,
you look just like your picture BEAUTIFUL.
I look up at him, aaaah, you don't
look like your picture Sir, no Sireee you don't
Well, I admit he said that picture is twenty years old,
oh GOSH and darn it and @@@%%%$$###
how do I get out of this mess.
So after some PAINFUL conversation,
I excuses me self for the little GIRLIE room,
and go straight through to the kitchen
desperate for departure I ask the startled dishwasher
for the E X I T-
and I ran all the way home, slammed the door,
got in my bed and pulled up the covers over my head.
HOLY SMOKES that was just c r a z y -
I am not that DESPERATE or Z A N Y to do that EVER again.
____________________________
November 27, 2016
Poetry/Burlesque/FALSE Advertising
Copyright Protected, ID 16-853-383-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Written for the contest, Zany,
sponsor, Frank Herrara
Third Place
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