False Advertising
I went on-line to find a man- the man of my dreams,
but the pickin's were few and I was desperate,
so when this guy said, hey S E X Y girl want to meet,
I jumped to attention and we set up a date.
Oh, I made myself up so p r e t t y ,
the mirror never lies!
And at the appointed time, I was at the coffee shop.
A man walked in- HOLY MACARONI, hope that's not him!
YIKES! He is looking at me with a crooked smile.
I squint my eyes are those missing teeth?
He is coming closer and closer to my table,
SON OF A WITCH, does the guy have a neck or what,
its just a head placed on wide WIDE shoulders,
I want to sink into the floor!
H e l l o , he says looking down on my lovely head,
you look just like your picture BEAUTIFUL.
I look up at him, aaaah, you don't
look like your picture Sir, no Sireee you don't
Well, I admit he said that picture is twenty years old,
oh GOSH and darn it and @@@%%%$$###
how do I get out of this mess.
So after some PAINFUL conversation,
I excuses me self for the little GIRLIE room,
and go straight through to the kitchen
desperate for departure I ask the startled dishwasher
for the E X I T-
and I ran all the way home, slammed the door,
got in my bed and pulled up the covers over my head.
HOLY SMOKES that was just c r a z y -
I am not that DESPERATE or Z A N Y to do that EVER again.
____________________________
November 27, 2016
Poetry/Burlesque/FALSE Advertising
Copyright Protected, ID 16-853-383-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Written for the contest, Zany,
sponsor, Frank Herrara
Third Place
Copyright © Constance La France | Year Posted 2016
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.
Please
Login
to post a comment