Good-bye…
Simply a word?
What essence is encased
Within this single utterance?
The alchemy of optimism?
The enigma of uncertainty?
Good-bye…
A blend of hope and the unseen?
Fracturing moments of farewell?
Aromatic vows dissipating
In the fluxes of fate?
The chiaroscuro of existence?
Good-bye…
A poet's silent elegy
Where love, loss, and longing
Converge and dissolve?
A kaleidoscope of emotions, promises
Distilled into a single breath?
Good-bye…
Stirred.
Blurred.
Deferred.
A haze of thoughts.
In the raw.
Unprocessed unpolished.
Ethereal feral.
Impulses really.
I might drown.
A sea of ambiguity.
Random content
in my private universe.
At times, I want to scream and be heard.
But all in time that can’t be rushed ~
Excerpt from Collaboration with Kirk Tierney, based on my poem 'Writing Is How I Connect'/ Painting by Suzanne Van Bebber
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
A river's flow, a double tide
With mirrored banks, where truths reside.
One current whisper, secrets deep
The other sings, a lullaby to sleep.
The water's edge, a blurred terrain
Where meaning shifts, and forms again.
Two worlds collide, in the misty haze
A mirrored dance, in wordless ways.
Secrets whispered truths revealed
In the dance, the river's story is sealed.
One current ebbs, and the other flows
Where meaning rests, no one knows.
Two tides, two truths, forever bound
In the river's heart, where peace is found.
The river's wisdom, now mine to hold
A dance of life, forever untold.
I plead insanity.
By now I should have learned.
Happiness is not for me.
I'm here to get burned.
It's so melodic.
My heart drums a sullen beat.
A tempo so despotic.
Victory song of self defeat.
I'm Insufferable.
Thus should suffer being weak.
Designed irreparable.
Another fix is all I seek.
It's narcotic.
Now it wears my skin.
Discordant harmonic.
Bound to kill me from within.
I fill the interim.
Like a space that isn't there.
Shows my delirium.
You're not here because you care.
I gave too much.
Despite being empty.
Life goes as such.
Live to thrive on the futility.
Because I could not escape from Life –
It rudely dragged me forth –
The chaos swirled, consuming all –
And Oblivion, my worth.
We raced through days – no time to rest –
And I, a frantic pawn –
My dreams and hopes, discarded, lost –
For Life's relentless dawn.
We passed the cubicles, where souls toiled
In fluorescent-lit despair –
We passed the screens of endless tasks –
We passed the coffee-stained chair.
Or rather – Life passed me –
Its deadlines, like a storm –
For only memos, spreadsheets, strife –
My soul, a uniform.
We paused before a desk that seemed
A prison of the mind –
The keyboard barely visible –
The mouse, a chain that binds.
Since then – 'tis eons – and yet
Feels shorter than a breath –
I first surmised the ticking clock
Led me toward my death.
I
The Formless emanates forms
One is many ... Things
Spirit is Living Word
Hiding me under Wings
II
Brahma and Atma, Unity
Despite all the diversity
Do not dismiss Ambiguity
For Father, Son, Spirit-Holy
III
No time, beyond space
Faceless, Face of Grace
Immaterial with material body
Wave and Ocean simultaneously
The devil asked me
Where're you going to join
The minority or the majority
I said the right side
The devil asked me again
Which is the right side
The majority or the minority
I repeated the same answer
The right side of course
The devil said why are you so stupid
I said I came from a world of ambiguity,confusion and hegemony
Th devil said oh I see
I would like to join you
To see this wonderful world
The devil then followed me back to the earth
And suddenly I woke up in fright
To find that a devil
Has already resided in my heart
A long time ago
As I used to force myself
To follow and choose the majority
Since a long time ago
I
I must have TEA
Must have been in a state
Mississippi
Must have sipped stale TEA
WENT TO HorsePetal
Flowery Hospital
Recovered Nicely
Re-covered
Doctored prescribed wisely
II
Missus Have TEA
Tennis T anyone
Yes Tennessee -
If Miss Sippy
Wore her New Jersey
What did Dellswear?
Go to ALASKA
There is no critical mass for ambiguity.
At this time, we are ahead of ourselves
so we must constantly check our watches,
and pause whatever we are doing regularly
in order to catch up.
Ambiguous margins have shifted
and that which was once out of sight
is almost here, we can see it,
through a peep-hole of now.
Don’t look away,
keep watching this space.
There is no critical mass for ambiguity.
At this time, we are ahead of ourselves
so we must constantly check our watches,
and pause whatever we are doing regularly
in order to catch up.
Ambiguous margins have shifted
and that which was once out of sight
is almost here, we can see it,
through a peep-hole of now.
Don’t look away,
keep watching this space.
When a woman will, she won’t,
And when she won’t, she will.
She’ll make you sit and wait
As though your time were hers to kill.
And if you get impatient,
You’ll be waiting for her still.
Then, if she does, she’ll change her mind
And nag you till you’re ill.
When a woman will, she won’t,
And when she won’t, she will.
Unless, of course, she likes the dress.
And then you’ll foot the bill.
I feel her touch
in the paradox of passion
her love my completeness
yet still I am broken
desire and fear combine
and I close my mind
to drown in the molten silver
of fantasy and illusion
in the wild wilderness
where I am free to be
escaping the hate
the self-loathing
that is my reality
Ambiguity Effect
(Gwawdodyn)
First Version
People tend to select the options
where chance of favourable actions
are known; over an option with unknown
choice of a good outcome with cautions.
~x~x~
Second Version
People tend to select the options
where chance of favourable actions
are known; over an option for a good
outcome with unknown choice with cautions.
~x~x~ >/center>
Shoot me to death with pearls
or cut my throat with a diamond;
because I’m yours to have but not to hold.
But if I tell him I love him,
then I’m at his mercy.
I just want to know if he could love
me.
I don’t want a singer to croon this love away,
I don’t need a musician to tune all this into another day…
Hang me around your
neck.
I didn’t like it when you touched me that way.
But if I tell him I love
him, then I’m at his mercy.
I just want to know if he could love
me.
Maybe you don't know what to say,
Because I know all the answers anyway,
But I don't like any of them either away,
Truth is, it's you I just can't forget, not even for a day.
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