Trousers Poems | Examples

Nookie Bookie

When business went
from bad to worse
and the Nookie Bookie
(a pimp)
with a curse
saw the number of customers'
trousers drop
he took umbrage
at an advertisement in the press
inserted by the local knocking shop
(where pleasure is a business)
which was seen to say...
RED LIGHT SPECIAL
Too many hookers spoil the brothel
Gentlemen
today's the day you're in luck
2 for the price of 1
more BANG for your buck!

Welcome To Secondary School

The teachers’ voices were loud and shrill,
but there was just one message,
“everyone sit still!”,
though it was hard on the parquet floor,
in polyester trousers,
bought the week before,
the first year head took to the stage,
like his long black cloak,
he was from another age,
our welcome to school it wasn’t the best,
being told we were failures,
in eleven plus tests,
brought up on praise for autumn verses,
I was shocked to hear,
we’d never be silk purses,
talents and abilities didn’t get a mention,
from the stretched and burnt out staff,
longing for their pension,
all around the system was failing,
I looked out of the window,
to life beyond the railings.

Last nights trousers

Foggy monday
Mourning sunday
Saturday blackout
Death by boozing Friday bruiser
Thursdays web of mid-week loser
Wednesday filled with pills and shots
Drink it up with Tuesdays lot
Foggy Monday finds its calling
In a sweaty sot on the ground, crawling

Trousers

Trousers are ashtrays
Traveler's affectation
Embracing the dirt.

Should a Woman Put On Trousers

Should a woman put on trousers?
Yep: ones that don’t men make browsers:
That let Top Secrets remain secret;
Documents eyes should not just meet:
Trousers that won’t hatch Internets,
Lust cause to beat its castanets…

Trousers fully masking Womanhood,
Easily The Misunderstood:
Sometimes, seeming to say “Draw close,
So that you may pick up your Rose…
	
Women may be free with trousers
But trousers could turn howitzers: 
Pastors and Imams gunning down, 
Priests causing to smile who should frown,
Maiden forcing to dump her gown;
Strongly shake the firmest crown!

And may men put on the skirt?
Yeah: if their trousers packed up dirt
And nearing it could image hurt
Worse than a woman’s for Shirt.

A Woman Surrenders a Man With a Purse

Shouldn’t  I assert A Maverick of a Woman?
 From behind surrendering a man, 
With a pistol purse prodding his back
 And a warning not to look back. 
Soon her determined fingers in his right pocket
 From same fishing out a locket…
 Jeez! The Guy is in dreamy love 
And she about to tamper with A Dove!
 “No, it has to be his trousers left pocket”.
 But from ransacked same extracts a socket
 “God! The Guy is an electrician
 And I this couldn’t discern; A Non Magician…
 
Alright vamoose, looking not back
 Unless you safe wisdom lack!”

Short Trousers

SHORT TROUSERS

When I was young in trousers short,
Children laughed at my knobbly knees.
I asked my mother why she bought
Short trousers in the winter’s freeze.
Fresh air was good for me she thought.

But Dad wore full length all year long
Which didn’t seem to me quite fair.
He was quite healthy, fit and strong
Without his knees exposed to air.
I said it was unjust, all wrong

But now, commuting on the train,
Day after day in sultry heat,
I find long trousers are a pain.
Sometimes I wish I could retreat
To childhood and wear shorts again.

20th November 2020
Quintain/Sicilian contest
Sponsor - Emile Pinet

Trousers

trousers

Three pair of trousers hang on a wooden hanger
no, not the wires they give you ate the laundry.
I only fit one of them but have kept two pair 
should I slim lose ten kilos, you must be joking
but hopes are eternal, and my doctor is good looking
she has a nice smile like should be interested in
my well being, every time I go there she has to look 
into her computer, oh, yes him with the funny heart
and tries to flirt with me, fat chance.
The trousers slid from the wooden hanger fell on the floor
and since I was naked at the time picked up a pair of
grey slacks, the fitted just, but there was no room for 
a shirt, I put on an over-sized T-shirt and thought 
it was slimming, but my wife who loves to tell the truth
said I looked like a tent.
Her sarcasm was lost on me, I had slimmed and wore
the grey slacks that day.

Batter Up, No Longer

From outfield judging eyes await your plight, 
though sweat and stupor feign to your ruin.
Now pull up your trousers, cinch your belt tight...
glaring down from mound, pitch straight and proven. 

Blurred ball unleashed, pitcher's swift arm uncoiled... 
tho' bat be av'rage, the batter may not.
Cauldron-like blood boiled, fever'd swing loyal,
now away to skies, all eyes on prized swat.

Faithfully she watched from merciful stands,
clouds roll away from fancy, fated rush.
His chance to meet life, alone in her hands,
though startled by a bat's powerful crush.

Will you strike true in life's bewilder'g plan,
carried on shoulders of heavenly fans?

Without Trousers

Standups can crack up audiences for hours
Especially when entering the stage without trousers
It wasn't intentional
Nor is it conventional
But surely the crowd won't throw cauliflowers

Fly Me To the Moon

A lady so much older than I 
Deftly signalled a path from her thigh
Like a wrinkle in thyme
Something started to climb
Hmmph!  I forgot to zip up my fly!

Trousers

All trousers, 

Not Sirs!

Brand New Harem Trousers

stormy cotton cloud 
billowing fresh emerald green 
shrouds the old cynic

Sagging Trousers

Sagging trousers




Low waist
Fine taste




Written July 9th, 2015
© Dr. Upma A. Sharma
For contest by Judy Konos

I Bust My Trousers

i bust my trousers 
and my shirt buttons fly off- -
picks up a dumb bell

*I hope to lose my belly - but I say that every year...

for Tracie's New Year haiku contest

• Short Trousers Poems
• Famous Trousers Poems
• Best Trousers Poems
• Read Trousers Poems
• Long Trousers Poems
• Trousers Quotes